07-01-2014, 04:29 AM
Well, i want to make this as short as possible...
5 days ago I turned 18 . And early in the morning at 1am I told her... We were both in her bed alone , and after a lot of mental fighting with myself I told her : MOM... listen to me carefully I love you with all my heart and I want you to love me.. But I'm scared that you wont do it anymore after I... Because ... Mom... I am... * I was speechless for over 2 mins* and she was like... Son... You can tell me... Son... And then I finally told her ... "I am homosexual" in that moment tears were streaming down my face... And she hugged me and told me... That she will always love... That her love is unconditional and that no matter what I am her son... Those were the most amazing words I could hear in that moment... After talking for over 2 hours I left her to go to my room and sleep ( we talked about how it started. Since when I know I. If I had or have a partner , she was curious , the partner part was awkward! ) And this coming out with my mom was so right and amazing.. She was always telling me cute things and being supportive, and saying I love you. She is the best.
So... That was 4 days ago. Now the ADVICE part begins , she come to me while I was practicing piano and told me that she has told my DAD. I freaked out and told her to leave and she stayed but I just kept practicing and ignoring her... After a few mins she left, later I was I my room and she wanted to get it but I didnt , kept on ignoring her . But laaaater that night she caught me in her room so she locked me in there with her. And forced me to talk. At first I was ignoring her and singing songs with my headphones on, then we started to talk . I told her that she betrayed me that she doesn't really love . And she started crying and saying she does and kept on repeating it a lot in the conversation... So to make it short, she feels guilty for not being there for me in all this time and that she needs to be in peace with herself and to say that she at least tried to do something so she wants me to go to a psicologist that could "cure me" ( I complained a lot about this.. Like am I sick?) and she says that if I am that sure I wouldn't have nothing to he afraid of... That's true I know I can't change, also don't want to... I feel embarrassed about the idea of gong to that psicologist, cuz its against my beliefs as a gay person... Like... There is nothing wrong with me... But I am thinking of going just to for my mom.. She says she wants me to reward all the lack of help... BUT she told me even though If I don't change she said she will love no matter what and will always stay by my side *holding my hand* . OH! AND... She told me that my dad (who I spected to be mean and disgusted by the idea ) cried a lot and told my mom that whoever dares to make fun of me , or put a hand of me . He will rip his head off... That was kind of cute and very unexpected from him... Don't know what to thin of him... He was always so distant. SO what do you think? What should I do with the psychologist and my parents? PLEASE HELP! THANKFUL WITH ANY COMMENT.
5 days ago I turned 18 . And early in the morning at 1am I told her... We were both in her bed alone , and after a lot of mental fighting with myself I told her : MOM... listen to me carefully I love you with all my heart and I want you to love me.. But I'm scared that you wont do it anymore after I... Because ... Mom... I am... * I was speechless for over 2 mins* and she was like... Son... You can tell me... Son... And then I finally told her ... "I am homosexual" in that moment tears were streaming down my face... And she hugged me and told me... That she will always love... That her love is unconditional and that no matter what I am her son... Those were the most amazing words I could hear in that moment... After talking for over 2 hours I left her to go to my room and sleep ( we talked about how it started. Since when I know I. If I had or have a partner , she was curious , the partner part was awkward! ) And this coming out with my mom was so right and amazing.. She was always telling me cute things and being supportive, and saying I love you. She is the best.
So... That was 4 days ago. Now the ADVICE part begins , she come to me while I was practicing piano and told me that she has told my DAD. I freaked out and told her to leave and she stayed but I just kept practicing and ignoring her... After a few mins she left, later I was I my room and she wanted to get it but I didnt , kept on ignoring her . But laaaater that night she caught me in her room so she locked me in there with her. And forced me to talk. At first I was ignoring her and singing songs with my headphones on, then we started to talk . I told her that she betrayed me that she doesn't really love . And she started crying and saying she does and kept on repeating it a lot in the conversation... So to make it short, she feels guilty for not being there for me in all this time and that she needs to be in peace with herself and to say that she at least tried to do something so she wants me to go to a psicologist that could "cure me" ( I complained a lot about this.. Like am I sick?) and she says that if I am that sure I wouldn't have nothing to he afraid of... That's true I know I can't change, also don't want to... I feel embarrassed about the idea of gong to that psicologist, cuz its against my beliefs as a gay person... Like... There is nothing wrong with me... But I am thinking of going just to for my mom.. She says she wants me to reward all the lack of help... BUT she told me even though If I don't change she said she will love no matter what and will always stay by my side *holding my hand* . OH! AND... She told me that my dad (who I spected to be mean and disgusted by the idea ) cried a lot and told my mom that whoever dares to make fun of me , or put a hand of me . He will rip his head off... That was kind of cute and very unexpected from him... Don't know what to thin of him... He was always so distant. SO what do you think? What should I do with the psychologist and my parents? PLEASE HELP! THANKFUL WITH ANY COMMENT.