Untold TERROR

[MisterLove]

I don't know how to put this but I recently experienced fear in a way I had never experienced before.

I don't want to get into details but a relative of mine is mentally ill, she gets violent sometimes and I witnessed some of her seizures. It's beyond horrific, I don't even like to think about it.

I'm not talking about sweaty palms or chills down the spine or anxiety, I mean sheer terror. I can't even describe it, it's like my entrails are being devoured.

Has any of you experienced something similar?

[East]

Yeah...my brother.

My youngest brother and his wife came to me one time to tell me that my other brother who was staying with them "changed" and they got scared and had to leave the house. I was asking them how he "changed" and they couldn't quite explain it to me....

..and a few months later they told me the same thing but this time they said they had to leave and wanted to sell me the house. I didn't really give too much thought to the "change" because I didn't really know what they were talking about or have any way to gauge it in my mind....I thought maybe it was a mood swing....and of course I inherited my other brother with the house as he didn't have anywhere else to go

...so one night maybe four months into living there my brother "changed"...
[COLOR="Red"]
O M G...[/COLOR]no words can describe it without it sounding like a sci fi script. His entire body had morphed...looked like he either lost half his body weight or had redistributed it. He was walking on the balls of his feet and he was a lot taller and angular and REALLY SCARY. I stood there face to face with him frozen in fear...he was maybe five feet away and I saw the entire body ...I was too afraid to move or talk....and I got a nice long look at it..one I will never forget....

It seemed like I was there for a few hours frozen but it was only 20 minutes or so and I went into the bedroom and woke up my lover and told him we had to get out of there...NOW.....

I was cussing out my other brother and his wife for not being more specific but then I laughed to myself...like I would have believed either one of them...or like anyone would believe me. As it is...I have to minimize and downplay what I saw just to tell the story.

He was subsequently diagnosed with schizophrenia.....

Yeah....OK....we'll go with that explanation.

[TwisttheLeaf]

I've experienced terror, but not in the kind of scenario that you're describing.

There was the car accident I was in when I was 17. I was the passenger in a small sedan t-boned by a transfer truck. The terror flashed through in that moment when I saw the grill coming towards my window.

The moment during when my ex-fwb broke in and managed to get me pinned me to the bathroom floor.

During a home invasion ("hired" by the same ex-fwb as above), in that moment when the person first came through the door.

In my case, none of them lasted long. In the car accident, it happened so fast and I was knocked unconscious on impact.
With the ex-fwb, it morphed into a silent detachment/emotional numbness.
With the home invasion, it morphed into a blend of fear and rage, which was extremely useful at the time.

[MisterLove]

Yes, the woman I mentioned is a diagnosed schizophrenic, too. It's much more common than we think and a living nightmare for friends and relatives.

[East]

Yes, the woman I mentioned is a diagnosed schizophrenic, too. It's much more common than we think and a living nightmare for friends and relatives.

I just cited schizophrenics on another board recently as my worst fear.

I think they have demons...or lizard "things" inside of them. They walk around arguing with them and are clearly possessed yet no one ever states the obvious.

[East]

I've experienced terror, but not in the kind of scenario that you're describing.

There was the car accident I was in when I was 17. I was the passenger in a small sedan t-boned by a transfer truck. The terror flashed through in that moment when I saw the grill coming towards my window.

The moment during when my ex-fwb broke in and managed to get me pinned me to the bathroom floor.

During a home invasion ("hired" by the same ex-fwb as above), in that moment when the person first came through the door.

In my case, none of them lasted long. In the car accident, it happened so fast and I was knocked unconscious on impact.
With the ex-fwb, it morphed into a silent detachment/emotional numbness.
With the home invasion, it morphed into a blend of fear and rage, which was extremely useful at the time.

Do you ever have PTSD now due to any of that? I have it with the car accident now with my lover sometimes (he almost died..the guy behind him did)...and with me also (three cars totaled) when someone is speeding and comes up on me really fast...I hate it when it happens because I have to take the time to talk myself back....I experience all of the feelings I had over until I can bring myself back

The home invasion sounds horrible....does it have any long term effect on you at all?

[TwisttheLeaf]

Do you ever have PTSD now due to any of that? I have it with the car accident now with my lover sometimes (he almost died..the guy behind him did)...and with me also (three cars totaled) when someone is speeding and comes up on me really fast...I hate it when it happens because I have to take the time to talk myself back....I experience all of the feelings I had over until I can bring myself back

The home invasion sounds horrible....does it have any long term effect on you at all?

With the car accident, I had a lot of anxiety afterwards when it came to being a passenger. In fact, it's extremely rare that I ride in the passenger seat of a car, even now. I'd much rather be the driver and am not beneath manipulating my way into the driver's seat.

Gideon says that with the ex-fwb and his hired friend later, that I went through some PTSD symptoms. I have memory issues and anxiety issues, and was already being treated for depression before the incidents happened.

The scar on my face left by the home invasion has been my biggest hurdle. That and... um, home security. I now have what's called a "katy bar" installed on my door. It's like a barricade. As well as a couple of deadbolts. This helps me a lot in the home security aspect of things. The issues with the scar, though.... and... the dreams. They're much harder to deal with and seem to be lingering the longest.

We (Gideon and I) did have to adjust out lovelife after the two attacks. We were really into the "hard take down" before, but I couldn't handle the violence for a few years afterwards. He has been very supportive and understanding through everything.

[East]

With the car accident, I had a lot of anxiety afterwards when it came to being a passenger. In fact, it's extremely rare that I ride in the passenger seat of a car, even now. I'd much rather be the driver and am not beneath manipulating my way into the driver's seat.

Gideon says that with the ex-fwb and his hired friend later, that I went through some PTSD symptoms. I have memory issues and anxiety issues, and was already being treated for depression before the incidents happened.

The scar on my face left by the home invasion has been my biggest hurdle. That and... um, home security. I now have what's called a "katy bar" installed on my door. It's like a barricade. As well as a couple of deadbolts. This helps me a lot in the home security aspect of things. The issues with the scar, though.... and... the dreams. They're much harder to deal with and seem to be lingering the longest.

We (Gideon and I) did have to adjust out lovelife after the two attacks. We were really into the "hard take down" before, but I couldn't handle the violence for a few years afterwards. He has been very supportive and understanding through everything.

Wow...I am so sorry that happened to you ((()))....I am glad that you have Gideon and that he has been supportive and understanding.....that is a important.

I hope it gets better for you...It's good that you have the security now,,,,is there any way to heal the scar? The PTSD can cripple you sometimes....it is a difficult thing to come to terms with.

[jaxc]

I personally haven't, but my family has with a few times. The first time was actually when I was first diagnosed with diabetes, my grandmother had noticed me looking and feeling severely ill and sickly and eventually took her sisters advice to take me to the hospital and well everything else I elaborated on before. Sometime after the diagnoses however, we were still trying to giving shots, counting carbs, giving me the prober dosage etc., when I was with my dad who at the time was still pretty much clueless about diabetes care( my grandmother pretty much handled it all back then and now he's much more knowledgeable about it), we were in a grocery store grabbing some last minute items when I collapse and went into shock from a low-blood sugar. He called 911 after a failed attempt to raise my glucose levels with artificial sweetener(DERP!)and I was carried to the hospital, treated, and stayed home for the weekend. Needless to say, both of them were probably scared shitless at the time.

[Cuddly]

I just cited schizophrenics on another board recently as my worst fear.

I think they have demons...or lizard "things" inside of them. They walk around arguing with them and are clearly possessed yet no one ever states the obvious.

I think you were being serious, but that one thing made me laugh. I understand how they look possessed (and might be possessed), but the "demons or lizards" implicating that lizards are on par with demons in evilness just made me smile and laugh a bit.
Are you afraid of lizards, by any chance? Cause I could see myself saying possessed by demons or spiders.