That Person....Your first love....

[Malec]

Okay so I am just going to rant and possibly bitch. I don't really know lol. So it's the 4th of July and I notice a lot of my "friends" and family are spending it/talking/texting with their significant others or love interests. It just makes me realize that I miss having that.

Having that person to talk and text with all day and all night. Smiling when you hear their voice or reading a simple text from them, just because they make you that happy. I used to have that. It's been a long while, but I hadn't really missed it as much up til now.

I remember waking up to his text. I'd wake up and the first thing I'd look for was a text from him saying "Good Morning". If I woke before his text, I'd text him the same and he'd always reply with "It is now". Then we would text all day through whatever we were doing. All the way up til one of us went to bed. We would end our conversations with "see you in my dreams".

Lol reading this, it seems kind of cheesy and not legit. But it was completely real. When we were missing each other because we hadn't spoken or seen each other in a while, a simple text saying, "6". We did this because that was the grade we met in. The 6th grade. We started out as friends and over the years our relationship grew into something a lot more.

He was my first love. I will always remember him and everything he gave me. I'm a big guy and not much for the looks. As for him, he's still a looker. Hella fit too lol. As time went on, our paths started in different directions. We started growing apart. Unfortunately, our love couldn't stand the storm (for lack of a better phrase). I still miss him and what we had. He has moved on and according to Facebook he's happy with his new guy. I'm happy for him. I just can't wait til I have this again. I know nothing will compare to my first love. Not every situation is the same. Eventually I have something even better, but for now I want something that is similar to what we had.

I want that person to text and joke with and have enough to talk about that we aren't bored with each other within minutes. Have you had this??? I miss it.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Actually young love (this isn't a reflection on the age of the lovers, just the age of the love) has a lot of cheesy mixed in.

Having done the relationship thing with 6 guys, 5 of them had that period of cheesy, see you in my dreams stage.

I fear that the worst one was my first, and up until the day he went to prison (and flat refused to allow visitation from me to 'set me free' so I wouldn't have to wait about 18 years for him to get out) the 2 years we were an item we maintained the cheesy.

#4 didn't do 'cheesy'. He didn't like it, nor terms of endearment. The rest the cheesy gave way to more practical forms of love in (in retrospect) short order.

Love has stages, it changes over time. Hot passionate, cheesy gives way to more stoic, deeper forms of love.

Every couple comes up with their 'inside jokes' and 'codes' - you share a life with a person and there is that common frame of reference that you have to where a single word or a little phrase can convey volumes.

I miss being able to say 'mushroom soup' and having someone fully understand that whole back story and that 'mushroom soup' means a long convoluted, round about conversation.

'Mushroom Soup' is only going to be had between me and a long ex. The event that took place is not repeatable, heck the person that caused mushroom soup to become significant in more than just a tasty soup is deceased. It is hard to accept that - but life is what it is (and no there is not enough alcohol in the world to change that).

You need to get it into your head as soon as possible that your next relationship is not going to be anything like what you had with your ex.

Learn from my mistake, I searched to remake what I had with #1 in #2 and #3 - but I failed to understand that love is supposed to be different with different people, that we share different experiences, trials and tribulations which make that realtionship unique.

Sure. I get the idea of having someone to talk too (text? We didn't have that back in the day, more like smoke signals and pony express ) It is not going to be exactly the same, and I sure hope you are not holding out hope that you can rekindle what you once had with another human being.

What you will get is new memories, new shared experiences, new 'our stuff'.

I further warn you that you now have a ruler by which you will unconsciously and perhaps even consciously measure all other men by. While that is typical for humans to do, its often leads to missed opportunities, missed chances and passing over others who may provide you with more of what you need and not just what you want.

I'm speaking of experience there too. Bradley is my biggest regret - because of my using my first as the ruler to measure all men by along with a few other proclivities I have to deny myself happiness, I passed up on the chance to be with a really great guy, who went on to build is own business and most likely would have kept me from going places I really shouldn't outta had gone.

No matter how many relationship you get into, and this goes beyond just lovers, I'm talking things like friends and family, you are going to have unique experiences with those people which will give you a slew of phrases, words and other interesting things that will spark whole universes of hidden meaning.

And time will take those people from you and leave you wanting to have that back.

Eventually you will learn to accept that what was was, what is is and what will be will be.

[East]

First Love ....I didn't realize I had never loved anyone until I met my lover I have been with now for 28 years. I "thought" I was in love with 2 of the other 3 lovers I had previously but not even close. I was in lust with them...

I have loved a lot of my friends...and I am in love with Jimmy Carter...does that count? I loved a lot of them before I met my current lover.

[Iceblink]

Dang, am I now feeling old when stories of first love involve exchanged text messages.

My first love was a guy I spent several years with, loved him, adored him, cared the world for him, but the entire time I was with him always had this feeling, this is not permanent, this is not who I will spend my life with.

It wasn't until I was 36 that I met my true love, the one I will spend my life, the man I am with now. The path to finally meet him involved a lot of effort, time, hits and misses, meeting a lot of truly awful guys, but also truly wonderful guys. I often hear these stories from people of wanting so badly to be in a relationships and feeling so lonely, but I guess I was different. On the way to finding my man and the time before and after my other long-term relationship there were times went I felt lonely, but for the most part I enjoyed life, the adventure, the people, friends, and the fun I had along the way.

[Wolfpack]

Not had a first love yet

[TwisttheLeaf]

Gideon and I have been in a relationship for six years... and we're still very cheesy. He's more.... romantically inclined? than I am. It thrills the shit out of him to wake up with a text or IM from me waiting for him, or to hear from me during my day when I'm between jobs or out doing errands, etc. He likes it when I share pics of what I'm eating or where I am (even shit like a pic of a grocery store aisle will thrill him), or links to music I'm listening to or enjoy, etc. Hell, he sent me pictures of fireworks last night so I could 'be there with him' during the show.

What I'm saying is... there's nothing wrong with cheesy, and it doesn't make things unreal, it just means you still linger in the special. It can also last a long time instead of just being a fleeting phase.

If you're ready to find that again? It sounds like you're healed from the break and ready to start searching for something serious. Good luck!

[bilkiba]

I had a crush I thought was love back in 2012. It was the first, it was this guy I met on a forum. He always talked to me (like everyday) and I wasn't used to that kind of attention, considering I'm far from a social person and have some issues that make it hard for me integrate into society as most people don't want to be bothered with something difficult. I didn't really like the guy, I don't think, I think I just liked feeling liked. Like someone else said, I kind of had this feeling the whole time that it would end. We never talked about anything important, really, and after two months he just suddenly stopped talking to me and I found out from a friend it was because he had hooked up with another guy and wasn't even going to tell me it was over... Well I got over him quick and learned what not to look for in future relationships.

It was a few months later when I discovered that I like girls too when I met this girl and we hit it off. Luckily for me, she happens to be bi as well, and we've been in a relationship for about a year and a half now. While at the time I thought I loved the other guy, it didn't take long after meeting her to realize that it wasn't really love at all I'd had with him. She and I have been through some very rough things, and I'm not easy to deal with, and yet she stays. So, even though I was with someone before, I consider her to by my first love, and I certainly hope that I don't ever have a reason to have a second.

As for the cheesy part, she's not all that cheesy, but I tend to be, and most of the time she seems to like that. I think it's just part of my personality. Some people are cheesy, some aren't, some like cheesy, some don't.

[happyschizoid]

Sometimes I wish for the days before we had cellphones and texting. When my life kept me busy and I was lucky to be able to fit a phone call in between us during the week. When we got together on the weekend it was just that much better. The first sight of him on Saturday or Friday night made everything seem better.

"absence makes the heart grow fonder" Definitely

[Virge]

It's depressing to hear 1st loves talked about in past tense. I'm gonna stick with the jerk I've got now rather than try to deal with some new jerk. Plus this one's real fun to look at.

[72jay]

that Person...
that first love...
that one I've never had... (and never will)
that thought of love makes for a nice daydream...
that it is only a daydream has a good thing...
that it can never cause heartbreak...
that because heartbreak would lead to death from a broken heart...