"...It's depressing to hear 1st loves talked about in past tense..."
Yeah, it kind of is. I'm 10 years into my first love...I was only 19 when we met and people say that what you want at 19 changes radically as you mature...but I guess we've managed to grow and change together.
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Aw... well, not having ever been in love myself I'm not quite sure how to respond to this thread. I did have a lot of intense crushes in high school, which needless to say never went anywhere. It really sucked having those feelings and having no way to satisfy them, which made me depressed and really spiteful for a while.
I recently had my first "boyfriend", but that only lasted a month, and we jumped into things very quickly. I barely felt so much as a spark for him, but I was lonely so I went along with it anyway. It was almost as bad as being single.
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Being the shy person that I am, I think I just found my first love... online.
Anyway, I've planned my entire life based on the premise that I'll be alone the entire time. Then this dude comes along and ruins everything with all of this info about himself and the romantic gushy stuff I never thought I'd fall for, I've opened up on basically everything but vital information (that's not happening ever - nor has it been asked). I will be honest, I had no idea I signed up for a dating site and in the midst of crouches and torsos, he found my face interesting.... deep. :o
I know it's kind of risky, though I looked and his pictures are legit (found literally nowhere else on the internet but the folder he shared with me) and he doesn't exactly exhibit proper scammer behavior, but you know what, I had nothing else planned on that department over the last three weeks we've been corresponding - I think I'll see where this goes. This would make for an interesting episode of Catfish if it gets to that point, though I have reason to doubt that to be the case. Besides, I'm almost sure if he's a scammer, the fact that I've told him that I'm a 20 year-old and very broke college student would've deterred him.
One thing's for certain, the slightly romantic sap in me has finally been released, and I have him to thank for that, real or not. Damn it!
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I must have done something terribly wrong: I never had crushes, flirtations, secret loves, I had a first love who was the same as my first lover. I was 13, he was....thirty years older. Did it last? Was it a daddy and son sort of thing? No and No. I towered above him and was the dominant. I also loved him completely and when he was killed in a plane crash after only 16 years, I was crushed. Thought I'd never love again. But...I'm not sure I missed anything by being in the throes of crushes, secret loves, first lusts, so much easier to do what I did although....I doubt if many could. I had been carefully prepared for sex of many sorts and by any standards was...sophisticated in ways 13 year olds never are. I was about...16 when I ran into an old family friend at Santa Anita race track where I was placing some bets. Although he knew I was the son of friends of him and therefore had a grasp on my age, he asked if I had an extra cigarette and who did I like in the fourth? Some might say I missed the "fun" of all that I didn't do but...I'm not so sure. Now I'm the old man and there's a younger man in whom I have an interest. Well, he's in his forties and I'm over seventy. The good thing here is both of us are really adults-boys of 17 or 18 are not (maybe in rare cases). We're having a pleasant time dancing together, wishing for more slow dances and, eventually, for the music to just stop so we can continue dancing on the veranda. Here's the thing, even if it doesn't end with our rolling out of bed seeing who has the strength to make the coffee, we'll always be great friends and will always be able to go dancing, with or without the music. So, do I think I missed anything? Not for a moment.
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