So a few months ago my parents found out I'm gay (googled my name and found a gay social network LOL I know its silly of me) so they were shocked n thought I was mentally I'll... They spoke about turning me straight using therapy for a while but came to realise its never ganna happen...(I was in a different country while all this happened). So once I got back home for my summer holiday they never treated me the same anymore, they always look down on me. And I used to pretend to pray so they don't kick me out of the house, right now I came back honest, I don't pray or do anything religious, I'm agnostic. They are Islamic and now its the month of Ramadan, so they are expecting me to pray even more, however my uncle told my brother to stop talking to me if I don't pray, my parents are saying I'm making this family into a joke because of how I was born and because of not praying etc, from time to time they threaten to kick me out, my mum keeps saying how when I fly back to England to carry on studying that she will cut ties with me. My problem is coping with all the fights we are having lately due to my sexuality and not praying. I've got till September, living with them... I know its a long post, sorry!
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Not a long post at all, Saif, but I do have to ask, why oh why did use your real name on a gay dating website if you are still in the closet to your family?
September is not that far away, but maybe with time they will finally come around. If not, remember that if you ever had any plans to eventually spend your life with another man, this was likely to happen at some time. As much as it hurts, for some people it is always going to be a choice between living the life you truly want and should and dealing with distance in the family or living the life someone else expects from you. For each person in this situation, it's a choice of what personally causes the least heartache.
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I know I'm supposed to choose between one of them, but I'm trying to win some time so that I can be financially stable before I can do that,
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The ideal situation is that you do not have to make the choice and can have both, but for some it is just not possible.
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The religion issue is a hot button for me, I feel religion has done more damage in the world than anything. My atheism is more important to me than being gay, I can't tolerate much god talk before having to speak up.
We have an unwritten rule in my family that religion and sexuality are not spoken about, and with my family it is the best thing. I think they all know I will let them have it with both barrels if they challenge me on either. They know I would not hesitate to cut them out of my life if they are disrespectful to me in any way.
Having said that I realize most people have a need to have their family in their lives and want to work things out. You have to decide how much of a lie you are willing to lead to keep the piece. From what you are saying in your post it seems unlikely they will except you do to the pressure from other religious people in their lives. They need to decide what is more important to them, you or their religion. You need to decide what is more important to you, getting on with your family or being true to yourself.
You are in a horrible situation and I hope it works out well for you.
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I know it'll work out in the end, always does for me, I just needed to get things of my chest once again n hear peoples thoughts 
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Iceblink Wrote:Not a long post at all, Saif, but I do have to ask, why oh why did use your real name on a gay dating website if you are still in the closet to your family?
September is not that far away, but maybe with time they will finally come around. .
NO & NO they will not, this seems to be a very islamic religious family. Trust me they will not. I lived with an Algerian family for 8 months in Al Jazeera (Algeria) after my 3 years in France and their son was my special buddy, when they found out we were more than friends they remain cool with me until I left but they beaten my friend Abdel to death. YES Abdel is dead, they killed him and there's nothing I could do even with all the money I had. I sent money to Abdel to have him come to Canada, his dad has rights on its bank account and they found out I was helping him. Abdel died, I didn't know back then how homosexuality was taboo in the muslim world.
So no his family won't come around, if any come around, he'll still be in danger with the other members of his family. GET THE FUCK AWAY if you want to live, that's my only advice.
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Jake Wrote:NO & NO they will not, this seems to be a very islamic religious family. Trust me they will not. I lived with an Algerian family for 8 months in Al Jazeera (Algeria) after my 3 years in France and their son was my special buddy, when they found out we were more than friends they remain cool with me until I left but they beaten my friend Abdel to death. YES Abdel is dead, they killed him and there's nothing I could do even with all the money I had. I sent money to Abdel to have him come to Canada, his dad has rights on its bank account and they found out I was helping him. Abdel died, I didn't know back then how homosexuality was taboo in the muslim world.
So no his family won't come around, if any come around, he'll still be in danger with the other members of his family. GET THE FUCK AWAY if you want to live, that's my only advice.
Really sorry about what happened :/. My parents aren't that extreme, + I live in a British area where the law is different so things will never go that extreme, and the yep, the religeon is rly extreme, I always tell myself I'll get away when I've got £ to support myself
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I'm sorry for your issues with your family. Unfortunately? Family with such strong views as what you're describing, both in their religious aspects as well as their views on your sexuality? They don't "come around" over time.
There's a line, yeah? At least from what I've seen. And I've found that most who cross the line over to the side where they're willing to put down, belittle and threaten to disown their own children for their sexual or religious preferences, they just don't "come around" on those issues.
IMO Iceblink has it right. Although it's nice to have both family and a life you can own as your own... sometimes? You have to make a choice. I personally made that choice at 16 years old when I emancipated from my parents. I've never once regretted it.
I encourage you to consider what you want your future to look like, and consider which choice is the right one for you.
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At one point in life I will leave them behind, but just not now since i would have nowhere to go, at least not till September, I got a job which j start in 2 days and will be paying for a house that I'm moving to with my friends in england
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