How to understand anyone and anything

[Virge]

Okay. I'm weird. I'm always on a quest to understand things and people. I work with criminals and spend loads of time really trying to understand them and the things they do. It's not that I want to be a criminal or explain away the things they do. I just have this drive to understand them and all people. Dumb huh?

I freaked out friends when I met the 1st guy in my life who was truly into S&M and had cigarette burns and scars to prove it. There's nothing about S&M that appeals to me and it does freak me out to think about it... but I really went out of my way to hang out with this guy and try to understand.

Then I had a talk about understanding with this 70-ish y/old gay guy I practically worship for being so danged smart. He listened to me as he went through a couple of boxes of books and handed me one tiny book that he opened to about the third page and handed it to me and walked off out of the room after he told me that he read it when he was 20 and it changed his life.

That was the Sunday after Thanksgiving 2012. The words I read are imprinted in my brain and I go back to them all the time now when I'm trying to understand anything or anyone that seems impossible to understand. Here it is and I hope once you read it you won't be able to forget it either. I'm changing one word so forgive me.

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A Cup of Tea

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about understanding.

Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.

The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"

"Like this cup," Nan-in said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you the nature of understanding unless you first empty your cup?"
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That's all you need to know to understand anyone, anything anytime.

[MrMom]

I think it's sad that so few people have the sort of curiosity that you describe. It's neither weird nor dumb. It seems to me that a lot of people are so self-involved - so full, as your story illustrates, that they miss so many amazing opportunities to learn and grow as a person.
I think that there are 2 ways of viewing the world --- some people look outward and see the world clearly, while others look inward and see the world through themselves, shaded and filtered through themselves.
I had a professor who always told us to accept nothing just because someone says so - always ask Why? How come?
I think that your mindset is a blessing, not a liability.

[ETOTE]

Yes but you don't have to clear your mind to approach something new with the innocence of a child, nor do you have to empty your cup to walk in the shoes of another to understand them.

Sometimes we need our tea for reflection and perspective in understanding things.
Having an open mind does not mean having an empty one.


I do like what the little metaphor is explaining though.

Ty for posting.

[Virge]

Yes but you don't have to clear your mind to approach something new with the innocence of a child, nor do you have to empty your cup to walk in the shoes of another to understand them.

Sometimes we need our tea for reflection and perspective in understanding things.
Having an open mind does not mean having an empty one.


I do like what the little metaphor is explaining though.

Ty for posting.

Thanks Etote... you know as well as I do most people go into situations that require understanding with their cups full to the top before they even sit down.... Those are the ones targeted by the parable.

[ETOTE]

'tis true...

[JimmyEcho]

I took shorin ryu Karate for 9 years.
Then I went to the B-town Kung Fu center for another 3 years, I really got in touch with my spirit.
O.K. your feeling spiritual. (I know spirit)
OFF TOPIC.
confushious say
Man who have hand in pocket all day, Feel cockey