Sad, but need to get it off my chest

[TwisttheLeaf]

It sounds as if you got stuck in the roll of his rebound.

Maybe a reality check (such as what you've done) will bring him around. More likely, he'll have to finish working his way through the pain of his breakup with his ex before he'll be ready for anything serious enough to be considered a mutually beneficial relationship.

[Anocxu]

Re-bound ...
Bound for nothing but selfish complications at your expense.

You do not have a fair chance with this guy...

[GuyOverThere]

He contacted me again yesterday and said he was very sorry for talking about his ex all the time and wouldn't do it again. He wants to be friends and if something else happens, that's great.

TBH, this has severely damaged my confidence in him or the idea of any relationship. I 've since started looking for someone else anyway, but I admit I feel stupid for getting sucked in and believing his nonsense.

[CellarDweller]

He contacted me again yesterday and said he was very sorry for talking about his ex all the time and wouldn't do it again. He wants to be friends and if something else happens, that's great.

TBH, this has severely damaged my confidence in him or the idea of any relationship. I 've since started looking for someone else anyway, but I admit I feel stupid for getting sucked in and believing his nonsense.

You need time from him, and from another relationship. Give yourself some time alone, and when you feel more confident, then you can start looking.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I was dating a guy who was great/wonderful except for one thing......

That is such a common statement, If I had a dollar for each time I heard that I could buy out the US debt and still have money to buy the trump towers in cash.

The problem with the statement, he was wonderful but, is that it contradicts itself. No he wasn't wonderful, he was an ass, a selfish prick, something - wonderful is not it.

The other problem with that statement is EVERYONE has a problem an issue a foible, a defect of character.

The option is not if you get a perfect man, or one even have decent, the option is if you can find one whose issues/defects of character/foible - whatever - is something you can work with/live with....

Trust me, there are far, far worse fella's out there, I dated them, entered into relationships with them. A couple ended up ending with ER visits - wonderful men, except they had a minor violent streak....

In this context you see how ugly and stupid the notion of 'wonderful but' actually is.

So no, this ex of yours was not wonderful... he has issues, serious issues which preclude wonderful.

[GuyOverThere]

^great post! We're so drawn in by people sometimes, that we're just oblivious to the issues which are so blatantly in our face. I feel so silly for falling for someone and not waking up sooner.

He's no good for me, but I still miss him a lot (although I haven't made this known). I suspect we're entering the mind games phase as well now.

I've completely halted all communication, but yesterday he messaged me to say he was thinking of moving to Australia to start a new life, and what were my thoughts about this? He also made a point later in the day about messing about on Grindr, but it was the still the "same old guys".

Is he trying to provoke a response here or what? I'm not going to cave in and give him any power by saying much.

[NightOwl]

I've been dating this wonderful guy just recently. He seemed perfect in so many ways, and we hung out together quite a bit. We hug and kiss often, and he told me how much he liked me...

Unfortunately I had to call it off last night, as I was sick to the back teeth of him talking about nothing but his ex partner. We've had a big fall out, as he doesn't quite understand that stalking your ex's check ins on Facebook and talking about him all the time is a little hurtful.

I'm not the jealous type, but his ex is the only thing he ever talks about. I wanted to get close to him, to understand him, to be a part of his life one day...

He blocked me on WhatsApp last night. He's a lovely person, but it's selfish to date others when you're not completely over someone else. I miss him terribly already, but I guess this is for the best.

That is all. Thanks for reading!

Made the right decision! Clearly not moved on at all....

[CellarDweller]

Is he trying to provoke a response here or what? I'm not going to cave in and give him any power by saying much.

Keep your head held up, and keep thinking positive things. You're moving in the right direction.

[novice]

Probably a good move - would've ended up badly. If you begin dating someone & they talk about their ex a lot it is obnoxious if not downright disrespectful to you. At least you got/get to decide what you do sooner than later before you develop strong feelings for him.

[Hazeleyed801guy]

I think I'm guilty of doing this myself, BUT I only ever talk about my exes when the other guy brings them up for whatever reason (usually wants to know how many guys I've been with and insinuates that I am a whore). When I go out on dates, I want to talk about the other person not my ex -- maybe I need to start watching the news for some better topical discussions....nah.