The word "retarded"- A vicious slur or a misunderstood slang term?

[Bhp91126]

I have accepted that the word is hurtful to many and never use it, either as verb or as label. However, if someone were to call me a retard, I'd just roll my eyes and laugh, as it is not hurtful to me.

[Bluelight]

I consider it a slur, though I never call people out on using it either...

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Its just a word. Its like Colored or Negro... At one time Retard and retarded were not at all offensive, it was a catch all name for a whole slew of mental and emotional development issues.

Its not until about the last 30 years that its become used as a slur. And that only reflects on the brain dead retard that uses retard as a slur, not on the retarded.

[OkayOkay]

that word isn't part of my vocabulary.

[Uneunsae]

I will never use this word as a slur. It's an insult to people with actual mental retardation. Furthermore, it is just an insult. Insults on their own are bad enough. Calling someone "stupid", "an idiot", or a "retard" shows really immaturity and inability to deal with your own emotion regarding someone else's actions.

It's especially hurtful for kids who might actually take it to heart and think there is something wrong with them. When I was in grade school, this was a common put-down.

Adults should just know better. Sometimes I wonder why people are so lazy with language and use such a narrow vocabulary of slang that doesn't even accurately portray how they feel. People start to sound all alike, their experiences sound all alike because they are "awesome", "cool", "sweet", or "it sucked". People can barely say how they really feel anymore.

Sorry, I don't believe that words only have power "if you let them". The entire "stick and stones" thing is BS. Words do have power. Bowyn used the example of "negro". Many people still don't care for that word; it depends on where you live and who you talk to. And things like that take a lot of time and discourse to change. It's not something that doesn't effect people just because they didn't want it to.

For example, I am sensitive to swear words and loud voices. Why? Because I have been severely abused for over 20 years and had words thrown at me during abuse. So yes, those things can trigger me. I know they are just words, but my neuropathways don't care about rational thinking. Yes, I'm in therapy for my PTSD and I am a very positive and optimistic person. I do not play the role of victim. I'm stating facts about cause and effect. Such a thing is completely foreign to people who sling curse words non-stop. Again, care to elaborate with other vocabulary and tell me how you really feel?

Sometimes I feel that "words only have power if you give them power" is just an excuse people use to say things they know aren't very nice. It reminds me of how irresponsible people are with the First Amendment and will hide behind it to say some outright vile things. I don't believe in being overly Politically Correct and watching everything we say, but I believe in having some sensitivity for other human beings, especially in public. Audience matters. Say what you want amongst friends and family.

Words have power. Someone who is in pain and constantly whines, "My head hurts soooooo bad!" ends up with a worse headache than a person who doesn't verbalize in such a manner. Words can sway, coerce, anger, cause war, bring peace, make someone cry. If you really don't think so then you really should stop saying "I love you" to your partners.

[East]

^^^^^You make good points and it gives me something to think about ....

I do have to say though in my recovery from addiction I had to learn that it was none of my business what other people thought about or said about me. It was an absolute essential part of my recovery .....and the difference between being a recovering alcoholic and drug addict versus a dry drunk...and dry drunks are frightening (***cough***George ***cough***Bush** cough*** ).

Letting people have power over me was a component of my disease and since I have no control at all over what other people do or say...I think it is essential to remember that people have the power that you give them....and that includes the words they use.

[Uneunsae]

I think that having an effect on you and having power over you are two separate things.

I agree that what they say is about them and not about you.

[East]

I think that having an effect on you and having power over you are two separate things.

I agree that what they say is about them and not about you.

Yeah...now that I think about it I agree and I do see the difference.....

[Uneunsae]

Also, one thing I'd like to have an explanation for is why the word "retard"? Why use that word? No one ever answers that question. Not, "why is it okay" but just why that word? It it really necessary? Why not another word? Why not tell the person exactly you don't like about what they did/who they are/etc? Furthermore, why insult in the first place?

Because it's intended to be harsh. No one will come out and say it. It's used exactly because of the implication. If someone tells me otherwise, I simply don't buy it.

Instead, in these situations, we diverge with a tangent question of, "do words hurt" which we all know the answer to.

[Uneunsae]

BTW, congrats on your recovery.