How do you define "Gay Culture"?

[Virge]

Amen to that. I will reply to this properly when I don't feel like crap (have a huge head cold at the moment). But I personally think the term gay culture is a bit.......unhelpful. Partly because it implies that if you don't embrace all aspects of that culture, you are a failure.
Also I would kind of dispute whether a gay "community" existed at all. Instead you have lots of sub communities - bear, twink, leather etc. which doesn't really help the majority of us who don't fit into any of those nice neat categories...
Maybe that's off topic but it's kind of relevant.

I'm thinking about swapping slobber with you for that thought. That was exactly the stuff that makes me horn up and want to talk to a guy for oore than just the 'conversation."

meantime I'm dozing great thoughts

[Virge]

Amen to that. I will reply to this properly when I don't feel like crap (have a huge head cold at the moment). But I personally think the term gay culture is a bit.......unhelpful. Partly because it implies that if you don't embrace all aspects of that culture, you are a failure.
Also I would kind of dispute whether a gay "community" existed at all. Instead you have lots of sub communities - bear, twink, leather etc. which doesn't really help the majority of us who don't fit into any of those nice neat categories...
Maybe that's off topic but it's kind of relevant.

I'm ready to slobber all over you for that

[happyschizoid]

Should have been a bit clearer, I was giving the perspective of how straight people see gay culture in general. I have no problem with feminine men and am attracted to many.

Being gay through the eyes of heterosexuals is becoming normal and not just the shopping and decorating types. They are starting to realize we are as varied as they are.

[DatKid]

You don't.

[Uneunsae]

I think straight people think of rainbow flags/clothes/accessories, show tunes, pink shirts, Judy Garland, Barbara Streisand, drag, etc.

[CellarDweller]

Some of us are feminine and it has nothing to do with "gay culture" but it's who we are. Now, many gay men hate us because they are afraid of whatever label they will get if they like us. And it's "cool" and "the thing" to say how you loathe us femmes. Yeah, there are some "bitchy queeny" types, but I think that doesn't have much to do with being feminine. It's an attitude problem and many "butch" guys have the equivalent, thinking they are God's gift. You know, the stud mentality.

Thank you for saying that.

I'm willing to bet that most of us were targeted for not being what it was thought we were supposed to be when we were in grade school. It bothers me when I see other gay men targeting those who are less than "straight-acting". Why should we put down anyone who is different than we are?

Reminds me of a time I went to a bar in NYC, and there was a very femme guy there, and he was friendly to everyone. I went to get a drink and some straight-acting guy was standing there, making comments about the femme guy. After listening to him for a few minutes, I turned to him and said:

"You're no different than he is. At the end of the night, you'll have a dick in your mouth or up your ass too." and turned and walked away.

[Virge]

I'm trying my best to not be judgmental and guess what? You won't meet a straight person capable of putting character above whose crotch you watch.... They'll run all sorts of words up the flag pole to make you think otherwise.... just judge them on their actions and not the bullshit that comes out of their mouths.

[Uneunsae]

Two of my best friends are straight and they don't think that way. Don't generalize, especially if you don't want people to judge you based on a generalization. I don't understand straight-bashing from gays. I know a lot of ignorant gays and straights. People are people.

[CellarDweller]

Two of my best friends are straight and they don't think that way. Don't generalize, especially if you don't want people to judge you based on a generalization. I don't understand straight-bashing from gays. I know a lot of ignorant gays and straights. People are people.

exactly.

When I came out in 1997, it was to all my straight friends first, and then to my family (all straight).

They were a huge support to me, and still are to this day.

We should also keep in mind that we are statistically, a minority. The rights we are winning is because we have a huge swell of straight supports with us, and we best not forget that.

[Jacqui]

gay culture is a good culture straight guys dislike.