Heaven or Nothing

[gilhooly]

My name is John Marren. I was born and lived with pagan beliefs. My best friend, Tom Bolenbaugh, died 12/8/97. I have seen him a few times since he died. Tom and I saved each others lives on a number of occasions and are entitled to make contact on that basis.

Tom received his eulogy from David Dinkins, the first black mayor of New York City. Tom, like me, loved to do volunteer work. Tom told me that our judge, Micah, had credited me with 60,000 hours of volunteer work. Tom smiled and said unless I really screw up I will get into heaven.

He warned me about engaging in violence or sins of hatred before I died. Homophobia, and all other forms of bigotry, are despised by judges. He said the alternative to heaven was NOTHING. If we are atheists or show no consideration for others, we go to NOWHERE. We are stuck between the matter and energy of the universe.

We continue to be aware of the existence of our souls to the end of the universe. We are ignored by everything and make No contact with anything. They are not punished or thought of by anyone. They KNOW it. They do not lose knowledge of their existence. They are forced to relive their lives forever.. NOTHING can change.

I've thought of that since he said it. It was a scarier definition of hell than what preachers say. I would hate to find myself alone for thousands or millions of years without even a fly for company. No Nothing is an awful definition of Hell. I think I would prefer to be tortured by devils than that.

It makes sense. God is busy repairing galaxies that crash into each other. We are left with the results of our own decisions. We have free will. We live and die y the choices we make. In heaven, Tom and I will continue to have free will. I am planning to spend eternity with Tom in heaven. I am prepared to supply my own definition of heaven. Never wanted to be a victim on this planet. I will not start being a victim in heaven.

People say I'm crazy but I am planning my itinerary right now. Hope I see some GaySpeak members in heaven. I will be collecting TOYS FOR TOTS for marines in heaven. I can't wait to see some kids I knew who died with leukemia.

BEING GAY HAS NEVER KEPT ANYONE FROM HEAVEN. IT IS NOT A SIN ACCORDING TO MY JUDGE, MICAH. I'M GLAD I NEVER JOINED AN ORGANIZED RELIGION. I WAS SO CRAZY THEY WOULD HAVE CRUCIFIED ME. PAGANS ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, BOTH HERE AND IN HEAVEN. I REFUSE TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH HUMORLESS SOULS.

[Borg69]

Um... Ok. Hi !

How you doin' ?

[Muceti]

Well, I hope to meet you in Heaven as well so

[ETOTE]

wtf?

is it 4:20 already?

pass it over!

[Iceblink]

Heaven or Las Vegas

[ChadCoxRox]

My name is John Marren. I was born and lived with pagan beliefs. My best friend, Tom Bolenbaugh, died 12/8/97. I have seen him a few times since he died. Tom and I saved each others lives on a number of occasions and are entitled to make contact on that basis.

Tom received his eulogy from David Dinkins, the first black mayor of New York City. Tom, like me, loved to do volunteer work. Tom told me that our judge, Micah, had credited me with 60,000 hours of volunteer work. Tom smiled and said unless I really screw up I will get into heaven.

He warned me about engaging in violence or sins of hatred before I died. Homophobia, and all other forms of bigotry, are despised by judges. He said the alternative to heaven was NOTHING. If we are atheists or show no consideration for others, we go to NOWHERE. We are stuck between the matter and energy of the universe.

We continue to be aware of the existence of our souls to the end of the universe. We are ignored by everything and make No contact with anything. They are not punished or thought of by anyone. They KNOW it. They do not lose knowledge of their existence. They are forced to relive their lives forever.. NOTHING can change.

I've thought of that since he said it. It was a scarier definition of hell than what preachers say. I would hate to find myself alone for thousands or millions of years without even a fly for company. No Nothing is an awful definition of Hell. I think I would prefer to be tortured by devils than that.

It makes sense. God is busy repairing galaxies that crash into each other. We are left with the results of our own decisions. We have free will. We live and die y the choices we make. In heaven, Tom and I will continue to have free will. I am planning to spend eternity with Tom in heaven. I am prepared to supply my own definition of heaven. Never wanted to be a victim on this planet. I will not start being a victim in heaven.

People say I'm crazy but I am planning my itinerary right now. Hope I see some GaySpeak members in heaven. I will be collecting TOYS FOR TOTS for marines in heaven. I can't wait to see some kids I knew who died with leukemia.

BEING GAY HAS NEVER KEPT ANYONE FROM HEAVEN. IT IS NOT A SIN ACCORDING TO MY JUDGE, MICAH. I'M GLAD I NEVER JOINED AN ORGANIZED RELIGION. I WAS SO CRAZY THEY WOULD HAVE CRUCIFIED ME. PAGANS ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR, BOTH HERE AND IN HEAVEN. I REFUSE TO SPEND ETERNITY WITH HUMORLESS SOULS.

Reminds me of the time my Auntie Em returned from a trip to hell and told how the first two rooms offered were heinous with spears of fire and orbs of molten lava forcing the guests to suffer perpetual scorching. She elaborated how she "naturally" requested a third option and upon entering felt utter relief at the appearance of all the inhabitants wading to their necks in human shit. Imagine our dismay when she managed a peculiar re-enactment of the look upon her face describing how when the door closed behind her, she waded to a bit of a spot and off went a ghastly buzzer and an crackling announcement, hissing, "break over, back on your heads!"

[50Plus]

Hi John - I am a John too. Although not really John II like the pope dudes, although some of them had other names between the John and the II.

Anyhow, I am having serious issues dealing with unraveling complex mysteries. I am allowing my work life to take a big dump of stress all over my head. So, I have trouble comprehending simple comments - its all part of my loss of coping skills.

I attempted to read you post, but got distracted (I saw a duck - oh that commercial was too funny). But I digress - again. So I re-read your post. And re-read it again. And then proof read my comments to your post. And then edited my comments. And then edited them again. And edited them for the third time. Edit # 4 underway. Edit # 5 - I suck. Edit # 6 - does GaySpeak have a post posting auto correct feature? This is # 6, which included editing and edit. WOW, I am sliding down hill fast - sorry John, for I realize how distracting this can be. Edit # 8 - can I make it to # 10? Yes -sort of. I made edit # 9, but did not track it here, so Edit # 10 was to make the note that I made edit # 9. Did I say that I suck?

You say that you were born and 'lived' with pagan beliefs. Does that mean that you no longer live within the pagan belief system? If so, that it is a shame because it is a very organic system.

Too bad about your best friend Tom. He sounds wonderful. It is 17 years tho - that is a long time (a lifetime for some). Have you met anyone new?

Did you save each others lives before or after Tom passed? Is no one else entitled to contact Tom? It is a shame that only those who saved his life can contact him. There must be some close friends or family of his that would love to know how he is doing.

Were you and Tom married by Judge Micah? Or is judge, Micah a different being / entity than a robed warden of the court? Forgive me if I sound disrepectful for I do not know who or what a Micah is. If I ask will you enlighten me?

60,000 hours of volunteer work? Really? No shit? What did you spend all your time on? If that was a job it would equal 30 years of 2000 hours per year. WOW.

Violence is bad. Sins of hatred - hmm, have never heard it stated in such a manner. I am getting confused again. Is not 'despising' homophobia and all other forms of bigotry, merely just being bigoted against bigotry? My circular logic processor has sent up a warning message and I therefore need your help in understanding / clarifying my state of confusion.

Being stuck anywhere is never a good thing. I can only assume, due to my current temporarily diminished mental capacity, that being stuck between the matter and energy of the universe is far worse than being stuck between a rock and a hard place or being behind the eight ball. Again, can you please clarify this one.

I have generally been ignored by everyone that I was attracted to so I know a little of what you say when we know we exist, but others ignore us. Then again, I try not to contact too many people so I do have a bit of a head start.

Being forced to relive their lives forever where NOTHING can change is not always a bad thing. Bill Murray made a shitload of money off of that concept.

You said "I think I would prefer to be tortured by devils than that." Naughty boy. Didn't your Mom teach you to be careful about what you wish for?

Is it really truly heaven if you are supplying your own definition of heaven. I hope that at least you consulted Tom about the definition of heaven, and therefore are willing to change your verbage to 'our definition of heaven' (where our refers to you and Tom and not you and me or me and Tom or even the three of us)

People say I'm crazy. I get that too. Sometimes they say I ramble on endlessly. But I have not seen that side of me just yet. I wonder if I ever will?

How can we (being other GaySpeak members) get to see you in heaven. Heaven is based on your definition and not necessarily our definition (by our I mean the collective GaySpeak body and not you and me or me and tom or even the three of us, and by body I mean the collection of individuals on GaySpeak and not the suggestive erotica of certain GaySpeak members (like one sweet Korean dish - )).

Please enlighten me on your comment "I will be collecting TOYS FOR TOTS for marines in heaven." I really do not understand why. Would toys in heaven get worn out or fall apart or break? I thought heaven was perfect.

One correction - organized religion does not crucify you for being crazy. Or at least they don't any more. Now a days they have figured out how to make a lot of money off of the nutbars (including, at times, myself).

I am a faggot and I do not know whether I will or will not enter heaven. I do hope to NOT spend eternity with humorless souls. That would be evil.

Thanks for your post. Would Tom get pissed if I gave you a peck on the cheek to say thank you?

[deepu69]

I believe that heaven and hell are found in our own planet. We keep switching between, depending upon our own actions. Give it a thought. Our life is a continuous saga of disappointments, sorrows, separations, injuries and a whole lot of sadness. The worst part is, we have to smile and keep going through the hell.
There are intermittent moments and phases of bliss which give us a glimpse of heaven. Being in love, receiving help when it is least expected, making someone smile through tears, sharing knowledge and wisdom.. For me, it is heaven...
We Hindus believe that the soul keeps coming back to this world (re-birth) until it has washed sway all the sins and misdeeds with it's pure, self-less acts. Once this is done, the soul is saved from the cycle of re-birth and gets absorbed in the Almighty fir eternity.

Wonder whether I put it in a sensible manner. Your thoughts friends??

[50Plus]

I believe that heaven and hell are found in our own planet. We keep switching between, depending upon our own actions. Give it a thought. Our life is a continuous saga of disappointments, sorrows, separations, injuries and a whole lot of sadness. The worst part is, we have to smile and keep going through the hell.
There are intermittent moments and phases of bliss which give us a glimpse of heaven. Being in love, receiving help when it is least expected, making someone smile through tears, sharing knowledge and wisdom.. For me, it is heaven...
We Hindus believe that the soul keeps coming back to this world (re-birth) until it has washed sway all the sins and misdeeds with it's pure, self-less acts. Once this is done, the soul is saved from the cycle of re-birth and gets absorbed in the Almighty fir eternity.

Wonder whether I put it in a sensible manner. Your thoughts friends??

You eloquently expressed life's 'ups and downs'. Thank you.

[ETOTE]

can't help it...