When I said I need time, I'm not ready for that yet, he's been distancing from me ;-) Seems, I got it what was his goal in dating with me.
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I'm a : Gay Man in an Open Gay Relationship
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Congrats on making the right decision, then. And sorry that he was just interested in having sex with you. Unfortunately there are many guys like that out there. Keep listening to your instincts and have sex only when you want it as well!
Bernd
Being gay is not for Sissies.
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Personally I think you shouldn't over think it and that you should have sex with him when you feel ready. You can't predict whether he will commit to you in the long term and neither can he. Relationships aren't products you can pick off a shelf, they are complex and ever changing. You should sleep with him if you are attracted to him and feel like that is something you want to do. Hopefully something deeper will develop between you but you shouldn't feel like anybody is to blame if it doesn't and you shouldn't feel like what you have with him now should mean any less if it doesn't work out long term. Just live for now and enjoy what you have at the moment, what comes next will unfold in it's own way.
Edit: Just read your recent posts. You shouldn't automatically assume that his distancing himself is because he is only after sex. Perhaps he assumes that you are not really attracted to him and he doesn't want to waste his time. Talk to him and explain why you don't want to sleep with him just yet and that you are interested in him.
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You not wanting to spend the night with him also sends the message that you don't like him. Communicate. Do what feels right.
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I have a 30 day no sex policy, this weeds out the casual sex seekers and players.
Those who are serious about a relationship can wait the mandatory 30 days - we can do other things, hunt, hike, swim, whatever floats the boat...
Getting to know one each other a little is important, and considering how many gays out there are just seeking for sex and nothing else, 30 days is a reasonable expectation, and anyone who has been in the scene should understand the 'why' its there and perhaps even fully agree its a good idea for serious dating and seeing if 'we' are compatible for the Long Haul.
If your beau ain't up to waiting a spell, then I would be seriously concerned that he isn't really wanting a realtionship....
3 dates is not a great policy... in fact its a pretty shitty policy.
PS, I discuss sex openly enough and I explain there is a 30 day no sex policy and why there isn't one. I don't pull punches with brutal honesty... it goes far better than soft dishonesty.
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I have to go with East on this one, though my experience is far lest vast than his lol. I was an extremely horny teenager, and from age 15 on I pretty much screwed first and asked questions later.
I met my BF a couple weeks after my 19th birthday and we had sex about 20 minutes after we met. And continued to do so almost nonstop for the next 6 months - he told me later that his theory was if he kept me busy enough, I wouldn't have time for anyone else. We moved in together after 7 months, in retrospect not a very bright move, but we've managed to blunder through and are together 6 years now.
But I digress. My point is that I don't think there's any hard and fast rule about how soon to have sex with someone, it's just about doing what feels right and comfortable to you.
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