Sex after third dating

[Timur]

When I said I need time, I'm not ready for that yet, he's been distancing from me ;-) Seems, I got it what was his goal in dating with me.

[Bhp91126]

Congrats on making the right decision, then. And sorry that he was just interested in having sex with you. Unfortunately there are many guys like that out there. Keep listening to your instincts and have sex only when you want it as well!

[darren23a]

Personally I think you shouldn't over think it and that you should have sex with him when you feel ready. You can't predict whether he will commit to you in the long term and neither can he. Relationships aren't products you can pick off a shelf, they are complex and ever changing. You should sleep with him if you are attracted to him and feel like that is something you want to do. Hopefully something deeper will develop between you but you shouldn't feel like anybody is to blame if it doesn't and you shouldn't feel like what you have with him now should mean any less if it doesn't work out long term. Just live for now and enjoy what you have at the moment, what comes next will unfold in it's own way.

Edit: Just read your recent posts. You shouldn't automatically assume that his distancing himself is because he is only after sex. Perhaps he assumes that you are not really attracted to him and he doesn't want to waste his time. Talk to him and explain why you don't want to sleep with him just yet and that you are interested in him.

[AlfredM]

I personally consider what you did as playing game cause you weren't exactly straightforward with what you're feeling. Yes you have every right to not have sex yet with him,but you didn't tell why you don't want to do it yet. As a person who have high sex desire,I would take that as a sign of incompatibility in sex,that you don't have as much libido as I do,and I don't want that so early in a budding relationship. I know that sex isn't the most important thing in a relationship,yet it frustrates us if we don't get it as much as we want,then it build resentment,and compromisation should play a role in that,but IMO that should happen way long after the relationship has been established. Just my 2 cents.

[Cuddly]

You not wanting to spend the night with him also sends the message that you don't like him. Communicate. Do what feels right.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I have a 30 day no sex policy, this weeds out the casual sex seekers and players.

Those who are serious about a relationship can wait the mandatory 30 days - we can do other things, hunt, hike, swim, whatever floats the boat...

Getting to know one each other a little is important, and considering how many gays out there are just seeking for sex and nothing else, 30 days is a reasonable expectation, and anyone who has been in the scene should understand the 'why' its there and perhaps even fully agree its a good idea for serious dating and seeing if 'we' are compatible for the Long Haul.

If your beau ain't up to waiting a spell, then I would be seriously concerned that he isn't really wanting a realtionship....

3 dates is not a great policy... in fact its a pretty shitty policy.

PS, I discuss sex openly enough and I explain there is a 30 day no sex policy and why there isn't one. I don't pull punches with brutal honesty... it goes far better than soft dishonesty.

[East]

PS, I discuss sex openly enough and I explain there is a 30 day no sex policy and why there isn't one. I don't pull punches with brutal honesty... it goes far better than soft dishonesty.

We are the same...I am very open and discuss sex honestly...

BUT we are polar opposites when it comes to having sex. I want sex BEFORE I go on a date with anyone and I make it clear.....if we are gonna do dinner we have to fuck first.

I have had a very successful sex and love life...so it worked perfectly for me.

My advice to the OP...well...you probably shouldn't follow my example in one respect BUT..one the other hand... I was being true to myself and who I was...and that is exactly what you should do as well.

[Cuddly]

We are the same...I am very open and discuss sex honestly...

BUT we are polar opposites when it comes to having sex. I want sex BEFORE I go on a date with anyone and I make it clear.....if we are gonna do dinner we have to fuck first.

I have had a very successful sex and love life...so it worked perfectly for me.

My advice to the OP...well...you probably shouldn't follow my example in one respect BUT..one the other hand... I was being true to myself and who I was...and that is exactly what you should do as well.

How does that work ?? XD
You see someone you like, club him over the head and drag him by the feet into the nearest restroom and have your wicked way, then ask him for a date?
No but seriously, what do you mean? Do you hook up casually and then agree to make it into something more than just a hook up? Or?

[East]

How does that work ?? XD
You see someone you like, club him over the head and drag him by the feet into the nearest restroom and have your wicked way, then ask him for a date?
No but seriously, what do you mean? Do you hook up casually and then agree to make it into something more than just a hook up? Or?

Restroom sex? No...never EWWWWWWWW...and never dragging anyone anywhere. I had zero problem meeting men

Here's the thing...I LOVE sex and I LOVE having sex with men I liked. I hated other people defining morality for me and equating sex with some bullshit moral code so I decided to be true to myself and be honest with the guys..and me....

I really hate it when a person who, for instance, lies to themselves and everyone else but decides to tell me about morality because I liked to fuck and I wasn't ashamed of myself...they make my skin crawl.

I had a lot of men who wanted to date me...who brought me gifts and invited me to go just about everywhere with them...and I wanted no part of it. I wanted to fuck and I wanted it to be what it was...so I liked men who also wanted to fuck and not have any drama or strings attached.

The date part? If we clicked...it we decided we liked each other...we could hang out. I let it unfold naturally if that was gonna happen but I would not pretend it was going anywhere if I knew it wasn't. I had regular fuck buddies who were friends and we also did things together which I guess is a "date" (sorta)....

I am not at all fickle when it comes to men I am interested in dating and I know in a second if I am interested and I don't confuse them with hookups who I had no intention of dating. . None of my boyfriends were hookups though I don't have any "rules" about sex....I would usually make out with them for hours on the first date instead of fucking. I have had four boyfriends/lovers...the current one for almost 29 years....and I enjoy being with him exclusively but I am not sorry about the guys I had sex with and it wasn't meaningless or empty...it rocked and I would do (most of) it all over again...

[Adam]

I have to go with East on this one, though my experience is far lest vast than his lol. I was an extremely horny teenager, and from age 15 on I pretty much screwed first and asked questions later.
I met my BF a couple weeks after my 19th birthday and we had sex about 20 minutes after we met. And continued to do so almost nonstop for the next 6 months - he told me later that his theory was if he kept me busy enough, I wouldn't have time for anyone else. We moved in together after 7 months, in retrospect not a very bright move, but we've managed to blunder through and are together 6 years now.
But I digress. My point is that I don't think there's any hard and fast rule about how soon to have sex with someone, it's just about doing what feels right and comfortable to you.