What should I do?

[theBreeze]

Hi! Need your advice.
My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and we really love each other.

So yesterday we were watching some movie on tv late at night and I made some dumb joke about how I would leave him for one of the actors. It was just a joke coz he knows how much I love him. He then asked me if I was serious and I said yes just to prolong the joke. And he suddenly slapped me in the face. It was the most painful thing I have ever felt in my life. It immediately turned my right cheek red, and it is still stinging and throbbing as i type this. So I started crying and I asked him why be had done such a stupid thing. His response was like "why do you gotta be such an ******?" We haven't talked to each other since then.

I'm still confused. I don't understand why he had done it (he has never hit me before). It's clear I was just joking. I'm really upset

What should I do? What to you guys think? Should I apologize to him first or should i wait for his apology?

Thank you in advance.

[JimmyEcho]

I guess it depends how you said it. Was it in a joking around voice or serious voice?
NONE- THE- LESS, He still blew it out of control and overreacted.
Question is, What else is going on here, We really don't know the history, Don't get much from your profile except that you Have huge junk. (It sound like someone else I know)
You have to ask yourself, How is this relationship going to play out in the future? Is it going to get better or worse, and I think only you know that. Anyway i do wish you the best of luck.

WELCOME TO GAY SPEAK. mile:

[Borg69]

You were insensitive and cruel, He was overly dramatic and violent. Now you're both being childish pointing fingers and blaming the other for being worse. Grow up, man up and apologize. Expect an apology from him. Stop with the head games. If this is the kind of stuff you fight over, good luck when the big stuff happens.

[mookytx]

sounds like he can't take a joke and your joke was a bad one. If he hit you once it won't be the last time. Sorry but I don't believe in violence like that. You need to go have a latte and TALK. Make sure you both understand the others feelings before you leave.

[Bhp91126]

You guys need to sit down and talk about this. It is of absolutely no importance of who apologizes first, that you even wonder about this, makes me doubt your priorities.

You obviously need to communicate better and more with one another. Tell each other about your triggers and boundaries. Use lots of "I" statements, avoid generalizations like always, forever, never etc., let each other finish

Your bf also needs anger management lessons! Hitting your partner is not tolerable!

[hpamire79]

Sounds confusing. Maybe you could text him that you want to talk, which is universally taken seriously by most people. Then when you sit down and talk tell him that you are confused about yesterday, that you were just joking and at the same time confused as to why he would get so upset over a joke.

It would give you two time to talk, which ultimately is what is necessary here.

[theBreeze]

Thanks for your responses.

[LJay]

You should be saying that you are sorry you said it and that it got out of hand. You should be saying it right away, too.

[Gideon]

I would say apologies are required on both sides, and I don't think it really matters who says it first as long as it is sincere on both sides.

I also think that you need to make it -very- clear that the violence is -NOT- okay. Ever. Unfortunately, Mook is right, if it happens once, chances are that it -will- happen again. Hopefully we are wrong and he is an exception and it won't be something that escalates.

[CellarDweller]

My opinion, your partner has issues.

I get that it's a joke, there have even been TV episodes based around that. Friends did an episode called "The One With Frank Jr." where the characters made a list of the celebs they'd get a "pass" to sleep with.

However, perhaps you took it too far.

In regards to the slap, the first time a boyfriend hit me, would be the LAST time a boyfriend hit me. If you're willing to take him back after that, you best be sure he understands that if he puts a hand on you again, he's out the door.