Do most gay men always look for someone "better"?

[ETOTE]

Oh sorry, my bad, I am evil for daring to suggest being gay is not the answer to everyone's problems....

I'm genuinely curious about this statement if you'd care to elaborate.

Not here to flame you, genuinely would like to offer some help, support or perspective that could lead you to a brighter outlook on all of this. I stand by what I said previously in that maybe this time in your life is where you could really use and need support from this place rather than running...incidentally back to the closet.


On the plus side, on the topic of weight loss and working out etc.

One thing that has always driven me to continue with healthy lifestyle habits like hitting the gym, cardio, eating clean etc is the endorphin rush that changes your mood and overall outlook to usually a more positive perspective. Exercise to me is a major stress and pain reliever. The benefits far outweigh the negatives.

[dynamodean]

It is my observation that since so much of what "drives" gay men is appearance based - that even when dating or in relationships many (if not "most") will drop one guy for a better looking one, a younger guy, one with a bigger dick, a nicer ass, etc. if and/or when that chance comes along.

For instance if a guy has no trouble getting partners he will be less inclined to stay with any one guy. Not that straight guys don't go through trophy wives/girlfriends, etc. too but this seems much more common in the gay community. Monogamy is the exception not the rule.

It is not a gay thing. Most of your first paragraph can be substituted with straight men and their appearance-focused views on women. Many straight guys will drop one girl for a better looking one, a younger girl, one with a bigger rack, a nicer ass, etc, if and/or when that chance comes along.

There are bad apples in every barrel.

[Buzzer]

It is not a gay thing. Most of your first paragraph can be substituted with straight men and their appearance-focused views on women. Many straight guys will drop one girl for a better looking one, a younger girl, one with a bigger rack, a nicer ass, etc, if and/or when that chance comes along.

There are bad apples in every barrel.

Yup.

What's being described is the shallower side of the clubby/hookup app scene... and you wouldn't see anything different, whatsoever, in the straight counterpart.

I think most of us who have had successful, stable relationships raise an eyebrow at the notion that you reliably find them in those places to begin with.

[dynamodean]

One thing that has always driven me to continue with healthy lifestyle habits like hitting the gym, cardio, eating clean etc is the endorphin rush that changes your mood and overall outlook to usually a more positive perspective. Exercise to me is a major stress and pain reliever. The benefits far outweigh the negatives.

I agree with exercise and an active lifestyle leading to a much more pleasant and positive outlook on life. I do cardio by jogging and swimming regularly and those combined with meditating have been big stress relievers for me. They help clear my mind when I need it cleared.

[Aike]

So...I was bored and actually searched for some studies on gay men and body image from my university's online portal. There's quite a surprising amount of articles dedicated to the question of gay men's body image fixation (dozens!), most of which seemed to be based on statistical analysis of surveys.

Quickly browsing through the abstracts, one comes to the conclusion that gay men on average are prone to problems with their body image. This is then correlated with low self-esteem and depression (that is to say: the more depressed you are and the lower your self-esteem, the more you're concerned with your body image). Moreover, fixation on the body seems also to be correlated with internalized homophobia/heterosexism. There's some inconsistency in whether your fixation on your own body reflects into your view of other people, but research literature mostly seems to suggest that the more concerned you are about your own looks, the more you are concerned about others' also.

In the light of all this, if gay men really are more superficial in the sense of being concerned about looks, one should always remember that fixation on the body image is a symptom of self-esteem issues and depression (and, as statistics can tell us, gay men are more prone to such things).

As for the claim that gay men are just as concerned about looks as straight men or women of any orientation - well, this is not true, at least according to some research I found. For example, this study concludes, when comparing gay/bi men and gay/bi women, that "males are considerably more preoccupied with and affected by physical appearance. Males reported significantly higher levels of image fixation, antifat attitudes, dislike of fat people, weight locus of control (indicating internal loci), physical discrimination, weight discrimination, and depression."

Most of this stuff is not freely accessible (so much for the transparency of science!) but here is one good free example of this type of research.

It's all quite interesting, really.

[ExpatBrit77]

When specifically did I say that I prefer the skinny boys??? I don't recall ever having said that because it couldn't be further from the truth.

Wait wait wait...........



To Star with not one person on this thread has said anything about losing weight being easy. If you expect the entire frackin world to send you apology cards because something isn't as easy as you would like it to be... then you really are your own worst enemy. I can remember many conversations with people (like you)into who I've tried to transfuse optimism and motivation. Like others, you had a frackin prepared list of lame rationalized excuses not to come out of the closet. not to move your life to places more conducive for your own happiness, not to look for people capable of stable relationships, remaining in a culture in which you never attained what you wanted, to remain in a self created vicious circle of excuses excuses excuses excuses excuses so that you could do nothing but gripe about all the things THAT AREN'T EASY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

[COLOR="RoyalBlue"]To answer the color coded part above....
Now that you've brought it up
How in hell can you sit back and criticize gays for preferring "the skinnier side on the scale, on the more (good) looking side of the scale" When you and many like you all admit that you yourselves only want the cute skinny boys you hypocritically criticize others for wanting more than men like yourself???????[/COLOR]