Become creepy stalker or let go of potential something?

[Adam]

I know I have my right to ask those questions,but I might have asked it insensitively,I don't know. Well,I have actually asked an online friend of mine to pass message to him,and I suppose if I don't hear from him back,that's that. I met my cousin's wife just now cause there was a family gathering,but I finally decided not to ask about him,partly cause I don't want to lie about how I know him and I'm still in the closet to my family,but I also think if he could easily block me without even considering the fact that we connected for a while in our conversation,he doesn't appreciate it as much as I do and I'm tired of this kind of people that I met online. Hook up should just be hook up,need to learn to separate it from potential date. Thanks people.

YES!! You sound assertive in this post, a very good thing! If he doesn't appreciate you, it's his loss. You sound like a good guy and you can do waaay better!

[Iceblink]

We haven't even met yet,let alone have sex,obviously even if I end up testing positive,it has nothing to do with him. It is borderline creepy,I'm not gonna ask his contact detail,nor will I visit his workplace.

You never actually met this person in real life and were considering getting his phone number through a third party or going to his workplace? I am glad you made this thread to get some advice first, because doing that would have not just been borderline creepy, but extremely creepy. Don't ever consider anything like that again.

[TwisttheLeaf]

I asked if it was with his ex,and he said he didn't want to discuss about it. I apologize,but then I pushed too far by asking if he has ever get tested since then. The conversation stopped there,and later I discovered that he blocked me.

I would say that something BAD happened with his ex that he doesn't want to talk about.

I would say that by having pushed into that topic, you triggered fears and issues.

Let me give you a perspective that you possibly haven't considered....

7 years ago, I broke up with my ex. He then continued to harass me, breaking into my home more than once and ultimately it ended up with me beaten and raped on the bathroom floor one evening after he broke into my apartment... and him going to jail. ((You can see why the topic of barebacking and testing may be sensitive matters in such a situation, yeah?))

Had I not met Gideon online prior to this point? He would have found it -impossible- to get (what I would have felt as) 'too close'. As it was, he struggled greatly during that time. We were still new in our relationship and I was trying to close myself off. Things I might have been open to up until that point (RL meetings, etc) became impossible for me to deal with or imagine doing.

If someone had stepped the line like you are considering doing now? If -GIDEON- had overstepped the line you are considering now.... I'd not have just been scared but terrified. Freaked the fuck out.

What I'm saying is..... your methods are fucked.

I agree with Adam's comment....

The most I'd do was ask my cousin's wife to message him and tell him you'd like to talk to him because you think he may have taken something you said the wrong way. And then it's up to him.

Even that may be going too far depending on how sensitive he is and why.

[matty7]

if you flip it then would you be over the moon and want something more with someone who was tracking you down through social media, using friend of a friends profile etc - its screaming stalker as u know, that's just going to scare him away no matter if you have genuine intentions

[TwisttheLeaf]

I guess most people would advise against what I plan to do and ask me to stay away or move on and let him go. Anybody with different perspective than that?

Btw.... this above? Makes it look like you're digging for any excuses you can find to reason out in your mind that it's okay to do what you've done and are considering.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

"He stressed that he's not into commitment."

If he hasn't said anything opposite of that, not supposed hints - but flat right out "sure I'm open to relationship', then that still applies.

Therefore, there is no potential here.

[Anonymous]

Btw.... this above? Makes it look like you're digging for any excuses you can find to reason out in your mind that it's okay to do what you've done and are considering.

Thanks for sharing your insight. I guess I don't know how to handle people with bad past like that,and that wasn't the first time he hinted that he had bad experiences with his exes,being manipulated over and over,but I was too eager to make sure that we're both clean before anything happen,thus the question might have been asked inappropriately. Of course I was digging for any excuse,I was consumed by the thought of trying to contact him in any way possible,but this was an online contact,I am letting it go like any other online contact. I'll not consider this again in the future.

[Adam]

Huh?
Refresh my memory if I've ever said you were wrong about something. LOL.

Now that you've said this...
I need to go back to your change the scripts thread and tell you what happened when I said something similar to what Alex said....

His name is Will, not Alex. Referring to another thread, he's my BF, not my husband.

B. and I are not interchangeable.