attractions

[lauj]

is it possible to be straight and attracted to other men, not sexually but just want to be with other men. I am attracted to some females but not in a lustful way. And what is pansexual, I've googled it a million times but I don't understand it. I've been told that your into all the sexes... but doesn't that mean your bi? I don't know. Maybe some insight from other members might help.

[HumbleTangerine]

Pansexual means you're attracted to a person regardless of their sex and gender. While a bisexual person might not be capable of finding someone whose sex and gender isn't the same attractive, or someone who has actually undergone surgery to closer resemble the gender they identify as, a pansexual would.

If someone says "I'm pansexual" he's basically saying "I'm attracted to all sexes and genders regardless of the degree to which they correspond".

Hope it was a decent answer!

[Aike]

To my understanding bisexuality distinguishes between male and female while pansexuality does not. It's not just about being able to be attracted to transpeople etc., but also about rejecting the entire gender binary. To put it in a simplified way, a pansexual does not see you as a "male" or a "female" but as a "person". He is therefore attracted to you "regardless of your sex or gender".

[Adam]

My friend Michael quotes some old song that says, "...first I look at the person...".

IDK much about labels. But yeah --- other than GS, I'm also on a parenting forum --- well, the title is "Mothering Forum" --- but there are no online forums for dads, and these women welcomed my friend (a parent of 2 kids) and I with open arms.

I'm sick to death of labels. We are who we are. I did the "gay level" test on another thread and I am apparently "Exclusively homosexual" yet I feel a strong emotional attraction to a woman I met in the LGBT Fellowship at our church. She and I share ideals, goals and just life experience in general.

Why do me need to sort and classify everything?

Forget labels and do what feels right.

[LJay]

Lauj, every man I know is attracted to other men...a lot!

It's called 'Let's watch the game.' or 'Wanna hang out?' or 'Going fishing.'or 'You got the new video game?' or 'Wanna beer?'

Think about it. There is a lot of leisure time that guys take up with other guys and they are not having sex.

Though there is an old saw that goes something like, "Two guys can do nearly anything short of orgasm, as long as there is beer and football involved."

[lauj]

Pansexual means you're attracted to a person regardless of their sex and gender. While a bisexual person might not be capable of finding someone whose sex and gender isn't the same attractive, or someone who has actually undergone surgery to closer resemble the gender they identify as, a pansexual would.

If someone says "I'm pansexual" he's basically saying "I'm attracted to all sexes and genders regardless of the degree to which they correspond".

Hope it was a decent answer!

yes thank you soo much it makes perfect sense yay, I feel like I'm moving up in the world now, I hope

[Virge]

Luaj....... I think if you go back to your first thread I might suggested that you worry more about being you than sticking a damned label on yourself.

If you go back and find I didn't say that....... let me know and I'll come back and say it a few more times to atone.

[lauj]

Luaj....... I think if you go back to your first thread I might suggested that you worry more about being you than sticking a damned label on yourself.

If you go back and find I didn't say that....... let me know and I'll come back and say it a few more times to atone.

Labels are like guns, they are all fun and games till someone gets hurt lol. no I'm not worried about labels. you are pretty good, i do worry about trying to be me more... its like up until i came out, i conformed to how other people wanted me to act. I was sort of fake. If i hung around a group of people that liked American eagle cloths, i'll try to wear it too. To be honest I'm only truly myself around a few of my friends and family. And sometimes i say what people want to hear when I'm thinking the exact opposite. I just don't know how to be myself. If that makes sense. And i hate confrontation, i don't know why people got to be so mean all the time. I talk super low and i don't have any confidence in myself or know what I'm good at. wow where did that all come from?? yay great free therapy thanks

[Adam]

Going back to your question about being attracted to straight guys in a non-sexual way --- google "Bromance" ---

[Virge]

You asked about pansexualism and I was hoping someone else would jump in and do a good job of explaining it and save me from having to do it ---- because I don't think anyone in GS has been spared my rants about labels. I hate them. I hate them even more when they're stuck on me... by the jerk I'm going to end up marrying.

Pansexual fits me pretty well. I'm attracted to both sexes pretty much equally when you do it on paper with pluses and minuses. The big thing for me is that unless there is some sort of chemistry between me and a guy --- or a woman it's not even arousing for me. Without some sort of connection or chemistry it's all just meaningless to me.

And to screw up the whole pansexual definition I attach much higher value on that chemistry than on the gender of the partner. I happened to find it with a guy and I'm focused on him and him alone. From my understanding most people who are pansexual have a more difficult time in focusing on being monogamous. I don't. I can cut up about hot guys in a gay forum and women in a forum of predominantly straight guys (if I was in one) .... but it's all just me cutting up -- being funny. If I started a thread about the things that REALLY attract me to the guy I'm with you guys would beat me to death with a trophy for being the most boring and mushy pervert ever allowed in GS.

I know there's a deep psychological thingie about my sexuality and my friendships --- which are deep down to the marrow of the bone with men, gay straight or whatever.... but never much deeper than birdbaths with most women. I bond in a brotherly way with men a hundred times easier than with women regardless of the prospects of sex with either of them.

The freudian explanation would be my deep dark need to keep the brotherly love I had with my own big brother whose approval means more to me at age 26 than my parents.... and my parents give approval all the time. I have to EARN it from my brother and the guys who are my circle of friends.

Let me give you an example of how this works. If my parents ever found out I cheated on Jay they'd pour a lot of coffee and give me a long talk about relationships. If my brother found out --- or any of my straight guy friends found out --- all of them would walk off and throw their hands up and treat me like crap.

I could do another 10 paragraphs and explain this. I doubt you'd read it. Not a day goes by that I dont weigh the weight of my "brothers" against my heart. And not a day passes without a brother standing up to defend my heart. It's something that's incomprehensible in the gay world.