Gay Friends or Friendship in General

[Sensibility]

Since I'm really new on here still, you guys don't know too much about me so I'll give a very quick background. I would call most people acquaintances rather than friends because the mark of a friend to me is someone I can be almost completely candid with. And they would do likewise. I guess that final statement is why I tend to consider most people acquaintances because people tend to always be hiding and editing their thoughts to protect themselves. That's an entire conversation in and of itself that Id be happy to have, but for now I want to ask: do you have gay male or if you are a woman, lesbian friends? (I hope I don't incite the wrath of memechose with my labels. Convenience is my excuse).

Sometimes I think "Man it would be great to have a gay friend". then I'd have someone whom I could better relate with. Trying to talk to a straight guy about gay things is an exercise in futility. And talking to girls is fun and all but being attracted to the same sex doesn't bridge the gender gap in my opinion. Or the fact that one person is gay and the other is straight.

Second question: Do you find your friendships with gay guys rewarding. I might be overestimating. I've got a tendency to overestimate.

Anyways, I'm looking forward to your feedback. My opinion isn't very well formed on this issue.

[HumbleTangerine]

1. Haha, all my friends get kind of gay when they drink, but all the true LGBT people I know are more like acquaintances really.

2. Never really had one, but I don't think I'd find friendship with a gay guy necessarily more rewarding than with a straight guy.

[Sensibility]

Thanks for sharing. I didn't make that distinction in my second question. I should have said more rewarding.

[deepu69]

I do have gay friends. It is easier to be completely open with them as they know my true self and can empathize with it.

[Cuddly]

I have some gay acquaintences and I greatly value them. It's just different, to talk to people who are more like yourself. I don't think you're overestimating it. As I wrote on a different thread, monogamous relationships are the rule, not the exception, in my life and in the lives around me. I like to see gay friends doing the same things; moving in together, getting married, getting a dog, etc. It makes me more confident that I an doing the right thing and the world is going in the right direction.

[BlueStar]

Having a gay friend to me would be wonderful, at least he could understand and feel with me. Actually all my gay friends are on this forum

[JimmyEcho]

because people tend to always be hiding and editing their thoughts to protect themselves..

I guess I'm lucky to have 2 very close STRAIGHT friends that joke around with me and completely understand the Gay part. However, there are people in our circle that sort of get uncomfortable about the Gay Factor. (That's expected)

The WRATH of Memechose, (None of us want that)

I do have Gay friends, but only 1, I would consider close enough to reveal my inner thoughts to. He is very understanding,---So I guess I am Lucky. Cool.

[Lycanthropist]

I know not that which thou speaketh of. I have longed for it, but alas, 'tis not to be in my lifetime. I cannot seem to get past the 'Hi, howyadoin' stage with others.

[LJay]

I have a roommate who is sort of a friend, but emotionally dysfunctional and often difficult. He is straight. Other than that I have one friend that I have not seen for a year and he is very distant. He is straight also. I miss him a lot.

No others. I wish I know how to meet people. Being older makes it very hard as my interests are not exactly similar to my age group.

[Virge]

1. Haha, all my friends get kind of gay when they drink, but all the true LGBT people I know are more like acquaintances really.

2. Never really had one, but I don't think I'd find friendship with a gay guy necessarily more rewarding than with a straight guy.

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Humtanger knocked it out of the ballpark with those words. And now for all you who temble at the sound of my name... here's some........

Wrath of Memechose

Sorry. I'm all out of wrath this morning.

I have gay friends and I spend a lot of time and gasoline keeping them as friends. They are my own chosen advisors, mentors and role models. The youngest one of them is 55, the oldest is 70. You don't ever read me looking for advice in here, do ya? That's because I work hard to keep those friendships so I can get advice on money, getting rich, the jerk I'm going to marry, and anything else. About half the time when I ask them for advice I get my feelings hurt by them hitting me with hard cold reality. But that's why I like them. They don't try to make me feel good with kind words instead of solid advice.

"local" gay acquaintances around my age? Maybe 20 that I see when i see them. I don't go out of my way to hang out with any of them. But we socialize when we run into each other at bars or parties. I've got another 8 who are 21 to 16 and I keep a friendly distance from them because they are all about silly drama, crushes on straight boys, falling in love after one fuck, and "my life is so awful" syndrome. LOL....

BUT My straight best friend and room mate is more to me than my own brother. Then there's our 6 CLOSE friends, all straight who are all guys plus another 6 or so who are great. They mean more to me than most gay people because they totally accept me as I am, are totally relaxed around me AND... if something like a drunk homophobe says anything when we're out drinking I don't hear about it until after he's gone. Having straight friends stand up like that for me makes me love them like family.

Then there's all you guys. Why do you think I hang out here in GS so much? I'm here to be a friend and have friends, help where I can help, and try to spread some fun around. I think you guys pretty much understand and accept me even though I'm way different than most of you. There's a few of you younger guys I'd be ready to adopt as little brothers and some of the older wiser ones I wish I could sit down and visit with IRL.

None of this is advice really --- but you can probably learn a bit from it and I hope you do.

EDIT >> and my mother hangs out with more gay men than I do! How crazy is that?

EDIT #2 >>> and everyone needs to learn friends go in one pile and acquaintances in another and do your best to keep them apart so you won't forget which is which.