Same guy I've been talking about. Every guy who I have liked who says or that I know is straight I leave them alone for a while. basically I go ghost on them until I get back to normal feelings for them. But this guy keeps me guessing. So today he asked me to go with him to the Army Ball in have once a year in October... He said that he isn't going to take his girl. OKaaayyy, but he rather have me go with him? Its just very odd for me. My Marine Corp, it was a couples thing and all the single guys just got drunk and went to the strip clubs afterwards. To be honest I don't even know how I feel about him anymore. He calls me so often that all I ever say to him is "Yep, okay, right". Half the time I'm double tasking. It reminds me of my playing straight days with the ladies. I looked at my phone history and the amount of time we talk is roughly an hour and a half. We talk on the phone about every other day and we see each other at the gym 5 days a week. I don't even feel like posting this because its like a broken record but I want to share so bad lol. if I'm so curious just ask him and I have. He says he is straight Is it strange that he rather take me? Tonight I'm supposed to go spend the night at his house. I'm always wondering, what about your girl? Don't you rather call her or spend more time with her? Every time he does hangout with his girl, I get invited. I usually say no because I don't want to be the third wheel. Another thing is that he is religious so that might give you an idea of who he is. Just forgot, another thing we talked about yesterday was getting a place of our own together, so weird.
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Balls and two dudes together.... Hmmm What happens exactly? :confused:
Have you told him you are confused about this situation?
It is odd that a straight guy would ask a gay guy out to a dance - that is highly nontraditional of straight guys.
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Most of our bias would be that this other guy is hiding some latent / supressed homosexual tendancies.
Think of the other perspective that altho he has a gal, he may be very nervous around her or feel embarassed being with her. And being religious might be what keeps him next to guys rather than his gal. For some religions, having relations with a lady before marriage is as bad as being a fag.
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Why is it weird?
Haven't been following any of this, so I'm blissfully clueless about it all.
But does he know you are gay?
.....ok, wait, just did a search and read your dilemma thread, so yes and he knows you are crushing on him
Can tell you from experience, just because he labels himself straight doesn't mean he won't be open to trying something out. Why labels are ridiculous, imo. He may very well just go with straight since it's easier and he may be more predominantly attracted to women. But maybe he has it in the back of his mind that when the timing is right he may have a curiosity he wants to explore with you specifically.
That is how it has usually happened with me among the so-called "straight" guys who have wanted to experiment with me. Had a roomie who sounds very similar to this guy, he confessed a curiosity and we messed around. Still remain friends to this day and continued to live with me for awhile. Of course I wasn't in love with him romantically or crushing on him, so it was no big deal.
If it were me, I'd probably had a threesome with him and his girl already and had them both living with me. Seems like he really wants to share his life and possibly his girl with you. Like he really wants to have a genuine close friendship with you that could lead to him suggesting to invite you into their bedroom. Would you be up for that? I know you say you are gay but if he did ask you, how do you think you would react or handle it?
Agree with Bowyn, it's odd for a straight dude to ask another dude to an Army ball, especially since he does have a girl, unless he is exploring things within himself and discovering new levels of comfort about himself and his sexuality.
He may also be getting a bit of an ego boost knowing that you have a thing for him.
Done that myself with friends both male and female. Had other straight friends do that with other friends who admitted they had crushes etc. They were still able to remain friends. Some of the friendships who crushed on me fell apart, sadly because it was just too intense and unfair to them.
At the end of the day he does sound like a good, close friend who has genuine love for you in the platonic sense, but who also just may be opening himself up to the idea of possibly involving you in some of his bedroom activities down the road.
Stay friends, jack off to him at night before drifting off to sleep, see where all this takes you, don't be so hung up with questioning everything, just be open to any possibilities.
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breathe steady, Virgil..... steady
(pant pant pant)
overanalyze
Syllabification: o·ver·an·a·lyze
Pronunciation: /ˌōvərˈanəlīz /
VERB
Analyze (something) in way danged too much detail and usually
screw up great opportunities to be spontaneous and enjoyable.
Also a mental disorder in many single homosexuals.
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lauj Wrote:Same guy I've been talking about. Every guy who I have liked who says or that I know is straight I leave them alone for a while. basically I go ghost on them until I get back to normal feelings for them. But this guy keeps me guessing. So today he asked me to go with him to the Army Ball in have once a year in October... He said that he isn't going to take his girl. OKaaayyy, but he rather have me go with him? Its just very odd for me. My Marine Corp, it was a couples thing and all the single guys just got drunk and went to the strip clubs afterwards. To be honest I don't even know how I feel about him anymore. He calls me so often that all I ever say to him is "Yep, okay, right". Half the time I'm double tasking. It reminds me of my playing straight days with the ladies. I looked at my phone history and the amount of time we talk is roughly an hour and a half. We talk on the phone about every other day and we see each other at the gym 5 days a week. I don't even feel like posting this because its like a broken record but I want to share so bad lol. if I'm so curious just ask him and I have. He says he is straight Is it strange that he rather take me? Tonight I'm supposed to go spend the night at his house. I'm always wondering, what about your girl? Don't you rather call her or spend more time with her? Every time he does hangout with his girl, I get invited. I usually say no because I don't want to be the third wheel. Another thing is that he is religious so that might give you an idea of who he is. Just forgot, another thing we talked about yesterday was getting a place of our own together, so weird.
Umm, I don't think he is straight.
But if you are interested in going to the USMC ball around Nov 11, I will send my dress blues to the cleaners and we can show these Army pukes what a real man is like. Ha ha!
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Complicated people create complicated dilemas.
Honestly, if he's so confusing to you, rid yourself of him and move on. You can be stuck in that straight crush, where he keeps you guessing, for years. It's a waste of your rainbowlight!
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I disagree with dumping him as a friend.
I do agree that you are overanalyzing him and his actions and could do well to just let things happen, be spontaneous and just enjoy your time and friendship together with him without being so concerned about a defined status of his sexuality or the type of friend relationship you have.
ETOTE Wrote:At the end of the day he does sound like a good, close friend who has genuine love for you in the platonic sense, but who also just may be opening himself up to the idea of possibly involving you in some of his bedroom activities down the road.
Stay friends, jack off to him at night before drifting off to sleep, see where all this takes you, don't be so hung up with questioning everything, just be open to any possibilities.
Not to sound rude, but maybe lighten up a bit, learn to have a little fun and quit wasting your time letting society define your way of thinking. Enjoy the friendship for whatever it is or whatever it may become.
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I apoligize for going psycho about this....
I got a moment of insight about my frustration this morning chatting with the jerk I'm marrying.
He's the king of planning and overanalyzing ---- which is not all bad. He's GREAT at working out long range plans and that's one think I really love about him.
BUT there are times it drives me crazy and I never scream at him like I did to Luaj in order to keep from escalating a silly issue.
Yesterday before I did the above short rant I got an email inviting me to a a big skydiving meet Labor Day. I want to go...but every time I mention skydiving to Jay he goes into alllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll the reasons I shouldn't do it and then makes me feel guilty about it. My first thought when I read the email was of the dread of lectures on top of lectures from him. I'd rather not go than have him worrying and being so PRACTICAL and OVERANALYTICAL about it.
This morning on cam with him I told him about the invite... just to give him something to bitch about... He didn't bitch. He said since he finally understands I like it and ........... he wants to try it next spring. It took him 10 minutes to convince me he wasn't just kidding.
The lesson learned >>>> I took out my frustrations with person A on person B.
And I'm a dumb ass for doing it.
So Luauj --------
go back to that thread you started about just needing to share how nice it was to be around this guy and letting things happen organically and bring that attitude forward.
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I agree that you should just go and enjoy your time with him, whether it be friendship or more. Does it really matter what it is? You will be near him all night!
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