Am I okay?

[chilatinguy]

Hi all,

I am in my car, in the middle of the night, in Boystown, trying to figure out if I am in the right path of getting over my ex. It has been a month since we broke up. I understand he really was not for me and I am not "in love" with him, yet I think about him all the time, and I do not know why. What we had was truly meaningful but at the same time I now see the hurtful aspects of the relationship. It hurts he made me feel like an incompetent idiot many times and I was verbally abused here and there. The list goes on.

I have been reconnecting with my true self and what I really want from a relationship. I have felt peace and happiness and a renewed sense of purpose in my life but I just wish I was not thinking about him every day. What else can I do? I want this to pass sway so I can have my life back. Thsnk you for reading and listening to my broken heart.

[bluedragon]

Sorry to hear that you are having a hard time.

Try to do some activities so that your mind will be diverted from these sad memories.

What are your interests? Bowling, swimming, biking? Try to focus on them.

Join some clubs of your interests so that you can get to meet new people and make friends.

I hope you can get over this saddening phase soon and be happy again.

[BlueStar]

Give it time dude, and avoid getting bored or lonely. You can't control what and who your mind thinks about, but you can bring your life back easily since your ex wasn't meant for you after all. Don't rush into any new random relationship to forget him, though.
Have a nice journey .

[deepu69]

Try to fall in love again.. This time with yourself.. Do things that you would have avoided due to your ex partner or lack of time or an other reasons..

[Bowyn Aerrow]

On one hand no you are not okay. you are suffering a loss - most likely what you are really suffering is the memory of 'us' - whatever it was you had with him.

Yet on the other hand you are going through the grieving process which is very human and very okay.

Break-ups take time to get over. Figure a year at most and you will be back to yourself as an individual - less if you really understand in your heart that it was over before it was over.

Intellectually understanding a thing and emotionally knowing it is often not the same thing.

The heart is a foolish thing, refusing to accept realities and rationalities... Thus you have to give it time before it figures things out and lets go... on its own terms and in its own time.

Right now your heart is not 'feeling' that the relationship is over. Sure your brain gets it, but hearts are fickle and foolish.

About a year is what it takes on average. That means one month down and about eleven to go... Seriously it isn't that long - although Einstein invented relative time (curse his scientific ways!) thus it will most likely feel much longer. But it isn't, and 20 years from now you will look back and wonder at how fast that this year flew by.

Again, that relative time thing, Einstein was such a prick! :tongue:

Your doing fine, being human and nothing extraordinary is happening. Sit back and enjoy the ride....

And be good to you.

[chilatinguy]

Thank you everyone. I will continue to do all the things I deprived myself of during the relationship. Healthy things, though!

[StingRay]

the only thing that fixes hurt like that is time.



How are things at the Lucky Whores Shoe? I need to get back there soon.