I cheated on my beautiful boyfriend and it is killing me

[Iceblink]

stupid advice. and people fuck up and make mistakes. most people make different mistakes at different times. he did it. doesn't mean he should sacrifice himself to make a point and give up someone he loves. if his partner can't live with it, that's another thing. and it's up to him to make that call.

and breaking up with him will break the guy's heart just as well.

self-sacrifices are so damn pointless. how do people even come up with this garbage?

I stand by my advice. This is not someone who made just one mistake, but two mistakes in just a short time of dating the guy and these were not just minor mistakes like showing up 30 minutes late for a date and neglecting to call. These were huge mistakes. If you believe this has anything to do with sacrifice. It is about being honest with oneself and realizing when one is not at a point in his life to be in a relationship. He has set a pattern of poor behavior and from his post here of making excuses (I was drunk, I was feeling smothered), there is no reason to not believe this is a pattern of behavior that will continue, especially when if someone is really into a relationship, early on is when you would expect someone to be on their absolute best behavior. I stand by what I had to say.

But do you want to know the real stupidity? Saying something like "most people make mistakes" as somehow a way out of poor behavior. How do people come up with this garbage? That is the kind of cop-out, lame reasoning used by kids. Yes, we all mistakes. I've made, you've made them, and undoubtedly everyone is this thread has made them at some time and we will probably all make them again, but that other people have made mistakes does not relieve of us of the responsibility and consequences of our own mistakes.

[meridannight]

But do you want to know the real stupidity? Saying something like "most people make mistakes" as somehow a way out of poor behavior. How do people come up with this garbage? That is the kind of cop-out, lame reasoning used by kids. Yes, we all mistakes. I've made, you've made them, and undoubtedly everyone is this thread has made them at some time and we will probably all make them again, but that other people have made mistakes does not relieve of us of the responsibility and consequences of our own mistakes.

did i say it did?

i've made mistakes and i've faced the consequences and taken responsibility every single time. i have no problem with that. and the OP still faces the consequences of what he did, whether he tells his partner or not.

talking to his partner about it is exactly what taking responsibility in this situation is. running away and making decisions over the fate of the relationship alone is pretentious and moronic. so what if he fucked up? he can fuck up 10 times, and if his partner decides it's something he can live with or not, that's up to his partner.

what you're suggesting is the moronic fake self-sacrificing way out. seriously stupid. and it's not fair to his partner. he also has responsibility to the relationship, not just himself. and that means that he should hear out what his partner has to say, not stupidly walk away like you suggested. actually, yours is a coward's way out of the thing.

[East]

I have done a 360 in my life on the subject and I can tell you one more thing no one ever mentions...

Sexual Addiction....Sexual Abuse...Rape....Molestation....

A lot of these can factor into someone's behavior and it won't matter if they truly love someone unless they address these very serious underlying issues. Problem is...a lot of times people put them aside and shove them in their subconscious because they can't deal with it or come to terms with it and it can manifest itself (and often does) with sexual promiscuity....

It can also manifest itself in many other ways...we are all different and how we deal with things is as individual as we are.