restraining myself

[lauj]

A while back I had a crush on this gay guy. He pretty much used me, he was nice to me and we even slept together. The thing is he is only nice to me when he needs help. One day he yelled at me and said that he doesn't like me after all I've done for this jerk. He moved out of town. Recently he came back because it wasn't working for him. I know that he is down and out again and he is being super nice to me again and flirty. The other day I saw him he came behind me and held me like he used to do. To be honest it felt really REALLY good. I had to kind of wiggle my way out of it. But I know how he is, he just wants me to help him out then when he doesn't need help again he's just going to hurt me. I had to leave him and go outside. It was really hard to do because I used to like him a lot. Its hard for me to let things like that go. Its to a point where I have to restrain myself from liking this guy again. Its almost like trying not to fall for a straight guy. I see him often because he works at the bar that I go to a lot. I was thinking about going to another bar but there is like 4 bars in town plus applebees.

[AdamAndWill]

(Adam) It sounds like you've got a pretty good handle on this guy's behavior. And as hard as it is, you're being smart. I hate being used - if I allow it, it makes me feel bad about myself as well as the other person. You're worth more than that!