08-14-2014, 06:34 PM
Hey Everyone . I'm new here but let's get this started.
About 4 or 5 weeks ago, I met this really sweet guy online. The only real problem is that he is 30 years older than me. I really don't know why I'm attracted to him, but I really do enjoy spending time with him.
The whole thing has turned into a "friends with benefits" situation. I've always told myself that I would only have sex with people once there's some sort of commitment. I personally made that decision for STD/ emotional reasons. I'm not interested in a relationship with this guy, but I trust him enough to sleep with him every once in a while.
The last time I stayed over his house, I had an immense amount of guilt the next day. Nothing bad happened; in fact I had a lot of fun and it was a nice experience sleeping over. However, I was crying my eyes out (I haven't cried in years) over the fact that I'm seeing this guy. It's hard to process why. Maybe I didn't talk to him enough about STD's before I slept with him the first time. Maybe it's just the pure guilt that I feel judged for sleeping with someone that's so much older. Maybe it's the fact I'm lying to my parents about where I am so often now. Maybe I want a real relationship. It's a combination of a lot of things, really.
The whole thing makes me happy in the moment, when I'm actually at his house. He just got out of an 11 year relationship about 6 months ago, and we are probably going to continue what we are doing until we find our own romantic boyfriends.
I'm planning on sleeping over again in a couple days, but there's this feeling at the bottom of my heart that I'm going to feel terrible afterwards. I've had sex with guys my age before (who I was in a relationship with) with absolutely no guilt.
Should I break the whole thing off (I'm going to college in a couple weeks, isn't like I won't be able to seek relationships/ sex if I want it), or should I try to get over the guilt? The situation with this guy is pretty amazing! He's a nice guy, we talk as friends all the time, and I feel comfortable with him.
I recently had surgery to repair a hernia, and I had some secondary systems because my immune system was shot by the stress on my body. These resembled the signs of early HIV(although none of my doctors were surprised, as they are just general symptoms of a suppressed immune system). THAT scared me a lot too (We are both going to get a test done in a couple weeks just to make sure I'm okay, of course).
The whole thing is coming with some initial stressors, but I really enjoy seeing him. Advice?
About 4 or 5 weeks ago, I met this really sweet guy online. The only real problem is that he is 30 years older than me. I really don't know why I'm attracted to him, but I really do enjoy spending time with him.
The whole thing has turned into a "friends with benefits" situation. I've always told myself that I would only have sex with people once there's some sort of commitment. I personally made that decision for STD/ emotional reasons. I'm not interested in a relationship with this guy, but I trust him enough to sleep with him every once in a while.
The last time I stayed over his house, I had an immense amount of guilt the next day. Nothing bad happened; in fact I had a lot of fun and it was a nice experience sleeping over. However, I was crying my eyes out (I haven't cried in years) over the fact that I'm seeing this guy. It's hard to process why. Maybe I didn't talk to him enough about STD's before I slept with him the first time. Maybe it's just the pure guilt that I feel judged for sleeping with someone that's so much older. Maybe it's the fact I'm lying to my parents about where I am so often now. Maybe I want a real relationship. It's a combination of a lot of things, really.
The whole thing makes me happy in the moment, when I'm actually at his house. He just got out of an 11 year relationship about 6 months ago, and we are probably going to continue what we are doing until we find our own romantic boyfriends.
I'm planning on sleeping over again in a couple days, but there's this feeling at the bottom of my heart that I'm going to feel terrible afterwards. I've had sex with guys my age before (who I was in a relationship with) with absolutely no guilt.
Should I break the whole thing off (I'm going to college in a couple weeks, isn't like I won't be able to seek relationships/ sex if I want it), or should I try to get over the guilt? The situation with this guy is pretty amazing! He's a nice guy, we talk as friends all the time, and I feel comfortable with him.
I recently had surgery to repair a hernia, and I had some secondary systems because my immune system was shot by the stress on my body. These resembled the signs of early HIV(although none of my doctors were surprised, as they are just general symptoms of a suppressed immune system). THAT scared me a lot too (We are both going to get a test done in a couple weeks just to make sure I'm okay, of course).
The whole thing is coming with some initial stressors, but I really enjoy seeing him. Advice?