I came of of the closet my sophomore year, mostly to my close friends and family. Being part of my high school volleyball team was great until I a new team member joined. He's the most awesomely guy I've ever met, he's Bosnian/Croatian and totally my type... But I got so attracted to him and there is obviously no chance of me going out with him. We hung out at school and out of school, he would always be with his girlfriend so I respected their relationship and not engage on anything. And during the summer they broke up, leaving him allot of free time to be with his other friends. The thing that is really bothering me is that, he doesn't know that I'm gay and I'm afraid that if I tell him he react in a bad way and destroy our friendship. I just don't want to get hurt that's all. But I really do enjoy his company, we do have our moments... We would have deep talks and tell each other our feelings, look deeply into each other's eyes, and "kinda" cuddle... So I don't know, what do you guys think? Should I tell him or let him find out on his own? And if I do tell him, how should I engage on it?
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Well... I don't know you, and I don't know him, and I don't know your relationship to him, so I can't even begin to predict how he would react. But I see two logical ways for you to move forward with this situation. You can either tell him, or not tell him. If you choose not to tell him, then you'll stay in this state of anxiety and perpetual not knowing. If you tell him, he'll either be cool or he won't. It all comes down to how prepared you are for the bad reaction and how much you're willing to let go of your friendship with him if that happens.
Are you hoping that he'll tell you that he's gay too and he'll tell you "OMG, I'm in love with you too! Let's be boyfriends and be happy forever just like in a shitty gay teen romance novel! (those must exist)" That's unlikely, but not impossible.
No one can really give you the advice you're looking for. It's on you, man.
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Well...telling him you are gay has to be your call ultimately.....
There is always a risk that he will reject you and normally that is just part of life but if you both are in high school that can present a lot of other difficulties that you should think about. I am assuming you haven't come out to anyone else?
I guess you should ask yourself these questions..and a lot more. For instance.....why do you want to tell him? ...are you hoping he might be gay and tell you that he feels the same way about you that you do him? Something else?
Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
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u better keep how it goes along till you can not hold yourself anymore.
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I think the choice is up to you. LIke wade said, no one can give you the right answer here, but have no doubt, we'll try to make things easier for you. If you feel like you can't hold it in...if you feel like it's making you too unhappy, then you should tell him. Either way, if he accepts you or not, it's bound to happen later in life (Unless you want life to have it's way of drifting friends apart after high school.)
The thing about being gay is... we've got to prepare ourselves for rejection when it comes to these stuff, even when it seems unlikely. I had a best friend of 6 years, and when I told him I'm gay, he left me this message.
"I'm confused, and I don't know why you choose to be gay, but I hope we can be friends again someday when you've decided to go back."
I didn't know if he meant it in a bad way or just genuinely confused about sexuality but the thing is, these things are gonna happen again and again in our lives because of our sexuality. And it's our duty to prepare ourselves for those things. I sincerly hope for the best for you and hope that your best friend is gonna treat you well.
He might be Bi? Who knows? Though, that's highly unlikely, but it's not impossible. Just like it's not always likely that he'll react badly and vice versa.
I wish you luck buddy.
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Kinda cuddle?
I have no idea what a kinda cuddle would be...
Well yes there is potential that your friendship will end once you tell him your gay.
But honestly do you want a person who wouldn't like your being gay this close to you in life?
I say tell him. He most likely already has a clue or two... this 'kinda cuddle' and those long looks and the fact that while he was dating a girl friend you were dating.... ???? No one? a girlfriend too?
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Why is it so important he know you are gay?
I would suggest inadvertently revealing it as part of natural conversation as if you thought he already knew. Just don't be afraid to make it part of your normal interaction.
Example: "damn dude, had a rough day, freakin' boned right now, I need to get me some peen!"
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You're a gay guy falling for your straight friend.
If you tell him, it's probably over.
If you don't tell him, what can never happen will never start.
Even hypothetically if you tell him and he's ok with you being gay, you're just going to put the rest of your life on hold hoping to one day win him over, waiting for something that's never going to happen.
Where exactly do you see this going???
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You are who you are. The longer you wait and the better friends you get, the more it will hurt if he cannot accept you, when he finds out.
In my opinion, you should tell him. He's most likely totally cool with it. I'd advice you to forget any dreams of a relationship with him though. If he's straight it's no-no, just look at the other threads if you don't understand why.
Btw, when I'm making new friends I seek out opportunities to tell them I'm gay asap.
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