Time Wasters In Dating Sites

[ArthurBallsack]

Does anyone else have problems with time wasters at the dating sites. It makes me so angry when somebody claims he's interested and he chats to me everyday for weeks and then he ignores me out of nowhere for no reason. Some I've asked why they don't reply and they all claim they are busy and then I never hear from them again. One person claimed to be interested on me and he told me he was desperate to meet me for sexual fun and he told me he had loads of free coming coming soon. Then out of nowhere he never wanted contact me me again because he suddenly claimed I was too old for him. He next thought I was too old for him during that month that he wasted. Right at the last minute when we were about to meet and he changed his mind with a crazy excuse, wasting my time.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

Internet dating sites/apps tend to attract a number of different types of users:

1. The genuine guy who is looking for "the one'
2. The genuine guy who thinks he's looking the one, but in reality doesn't know what he's looking for
3. The guy who is trapped in the closet (wife and kids) says he's single, but likes to flirt to prove he can
4. The guy whose already in a relationship, but wants to find a way out (or has permission to play away)
5. They guy who thinks he's gay, wants to "try it" but bottles it at the last minute
6. The guy whose so gay, he wants to sleep with everyone, because he thinks thats what being gay is all about
7. The str8 guys who like to flirt, because he can
8. The virgin gay guy, whose too scared to actually follow though and meet up
9. The guy whose 500 miles away, doesn't tell you that, and has no intention to ever come to meet you
10. The time waster who simply gets a kick fro leading people on

I guess the point Im trying to make is that if you only rely on dating sites, then there is a very high probability that nothing will ever come of it, leading to disappointment on the part of the person who has "invested emotionally" in the interaction.

While its a long time since I have used dating sites in anger (I do use some apps just to chat to people - but thats clearly stated in my profile) as a general rule of thumb, if your not off the site and talking or at least texting within a week, then its going no where, and if they are not within 100 miles of you, the chances are you will never meet (although thats not true in all cases)

I see your in Brighton - the gay capital of England - is there a reason your not venturing out into real world dating.....?

[MoonLemon]

I spent a couple of weeks on one of those dating sites before, just to test the waters. When it comes to people who randomly stop responding/ sounding interested in you, I think it has to just do with their personality type/ what people are looking for. It's a fleeting online conversation. Maybe they met someone else that is occupying more of their attention or they simply lost interest. I think some guys just aren't confrontational enough to be direct, which is extremely annoying but at the same time understandable. In addition, if the aim is just casual sex it's hard to hold down a guy's attention when you can get that pretty easily.

I've honestly done that a couple times, but it was more of a way for me to disconnect myself from the site. I sort of went into a "I don't want to deal with online dating right now" mode. Plus I'm leaving for college and I won't need an app at that point.

I think there's a big "strike while the iron is hot" element to these things. You gotta meet up with people decently soon, or else a lot of guys turn into time wasters. (Of course, you gotta make sure they aren't psycho's first)

[Iceblink]

It has always been that there are an awful lot of gay men that are flaky when it comes to dating, so of course this is going to be true on internet dating sites as well. With the internet, the problem became even worse. People in the closet suddenly had a way to interact with other gay men, but as you talk to people one-on-one and get to know someone, the layers of anonymity are slowly peeled away. Once a guy lets too much of his real person out there for someone to see, many are going to retreat in fear.

There is also another problem I see here in your post. You say you have been talking to some of these guys for weeks. It is a dating site and if it were me and I had been chatting with someone for weeks and nothing had yet compelled me to ask the guy out on a date and to meet in real life, and he had not yet asked me, I am probably going to after a while just figure the chat is going nowhere and is leading to nothing. If I just wanted to chat with someone, there are a lot of places on the internet where I could find. If I went to a dating site, there is a purpose to that site and that purpose is dating. If you are looking for a date on a dating site, you are eventually going to have to make a move.

[Kenny221]

Internet dating sites/apps tend to attract a number of different types of users:

1. The genuine guy who is looking for "the one'
2. The genuine guy who thinks he's looking the one, but in reality doesn't know what he's looking for
3. The guy who is trapped in the closet (wife and kids) says he's single, but likes to flirt to prove he can
4. The guy whose already in a relationship, but wants to find a way out (or has permission to play away)
5. They guy who thinks he's gay, wants to "try it" but bottles it at the last minute
6. The guy whose so gay, he wants to sleep with everyone, because he thinks thats what being gay is all about
7. The str8 guys who like to flirt, because he can
8. The virgin gay guy, whose too scared to actually follow though and meet up
9. The guy whose 500 miles away, doesn't tell you that, and has no intention to ever come to meet you
10. The time waster who simply gets a kick fro leading people on

I sound like mister 8 and 2

[Borg69]

I think a lot of guys use those sites as a barometer for their self esteem, to practice their flirting skills, and to play the field leading on numerous guys and then dropping them once that think they've found their Prince.

The can't seem to invest themselves in one person fully, so they have fingers in everyone's pie just enough to keep a foot in the door keeping all options open until they find that one they're comfortable enough to jump the shark with, ditching all the others.

[dynamodean]

I think the relative anonymity of dating sites allows many guys to talk up their game quite a bit and an otherwise typical wallflower will become the biggest players. Needless to say, many connections need to be taken with a grain of salt.

[Wardo94]

Does anyone else have problems with time wasters at the dating sites. It makes me so angry when somebody claims he's interested and he chats to me everyday for weeks and then he ignores me out of nowhere for no reason. Some I've asked why they don't reply and they all claim they are busy and then I never hear from them again. One person claimed to be interested on me and he told me he was desperate to meet me for sexual fun and he told me he had loads of free coming coming soon. Then out of nowhere he never wanted contact me me again because he suddenly claimed I was too old for him. He next thought I was too old for him during that month that he wasted. Right at the last minute when we were about to meet and he changed his mind with a crazy excuse, wasting my time.

What happens now a days is that most poeple think that just cause' you both had an amazing conversation, that it'll all go well from there, and what not. And it's not like that. There's more to it. So what happens is that over time, they talk to you more, and then they change their mind, but don't have the consideration to maybe indicate that they're no longer interested. Rather than leaving you hanging, or worse, leading you on when you could be speaking with someone else. Some people on most of those dating apps/sites are just ass holes when it comes to that.

[hank]

I haven't had much luck with dating sights. I have gone ina few dates nothing ever happened but I did date a couple of ladies on one found out I most definitely am gay. But even with the ladies, they seemed desperate.

I suggest finding some lbgt friendsnot to have sex with just to be friends. I hate to ask but being that you are bisexual are you comfortable dating a fellow?

[Virge]

I suggest finding some lbgt friendsnot to have sex with just to be friends. I hate to ask but being that you are bisexual are you comfortable dating a fellow?

Are you making fun of my pic???

On to serious matters.
Just about every single gay guy I know is using dating sites and I can't think of one of them who has had anything close to a great encounter. Others here are more informed about all than I am cuz I avoid all that and use the internet as a tool for keeping a relationship going rather than one to find a relationship. The best way is the old fashioned way ..... get out and circulate to meet guys in person rather than waste the same amount of hours on line with