Gay means happy, beautiful, not disgusting!

[Keith]

Here it goes:
Yesterday I was watching whitecollar, american tv series. Matt Bomer played Neal Caffery in it[ps: he is hot]. One of my roommates watched it a long time ago and loved Matt Bomer very much. When i told him that Matt Bomer is gay, He said, "Oh no, I do not like him any more." Suddenly I felt so unhappy and I asked him, "Before I told you this and after i told you this, is he the same guy? " He said, "No, I thought he was masculine." What the Hell! Stupid Human![I bet god said that to him!] Why people hate gay? I asked in some chatting room, and someone said: "I just do not want shit on my penis." which is kinda insulting. And some said: "ignore them." I believe gay guys exist for a reason. Some people said, "If god hates us, why are we so cute?"
I wanted to shouted at him[my stupid roommate], "Without people like you, I could have come out of closet millions of years ago." But I could not. Gay guys in China are so poor. WE have to hide ourselves. Most people hold the ancient opinion that gay is abnormal. We can not live surrounded by countless unkind eye sights.
I love you guys here in gayspeak. I feel comfortable here.

[Maverick]

Keith,

Thanks for sharing, I understand your frustrations. Your story makes me think about the vast majority of people that still believe being gay is a "choice". If that were true, who would pick that? Why would anyone "want" to be discriminated against, put down, ridiculed, etc, etc. It's a hard life, and it also makes it sooo much more difficult to find someone to share your life with. However, the good news is, it's getting better. A slow process, but it's coming, and "someday" I believe people won't judge, and everyone will be "somewhat" freer to just be themselves without the pressure to "be someone else". I understand that in some countries it's more difficult for gays, but even in a place where it's easier per say, there is still the family and social pressures that can be tremendous factors, to the point of difficulty accepting ones self and not beating yourself up over it (which can lead to a lot of other destructive stuff). I hope you are not struggling with that, you've accepted yourself and know its nothing to be ashamed of. If you are that point, then you are way ahead of many, so be thankful.

Glad you found us here, feel free to ask away. Lots of people at gayspeak will offer excellent advice for whatever questions you may have.

[weegie]

Hi Keith,
It is not so long ago that being gay in the UK was a social negative, although the pressure to produce another generation was never so great as it is in China. Change is slowly happening in China too, though mainly in Beijing and Shanghai, but it will spread as it did here. Meanwhile, it might help if you joined QQi, if you haven't already. There is a huge number of Chinese gays signed up which could help you make local contacts in and near Jinhua.
祝你好運，享受七夕節下週！

[Keith]

Thank you, I hope i will come out from my closet soon

[Keith]

Thank you, best wishes to u too. now I am in Hangzhou, where gay bar truly exist

[Letmar]

Hi Keith,
The one thing you need to do is let it go man! I understand your frustration so well... I'm originally from Mexico, and boy... if there is a backward country with regards to this, Mexico takes the bloody price! Unfortunately the overwhelming majority of the wold's population has the following characteristics:
poor education
high susceptibility to religious indoctrination
low level of judgment
need to belong
fear of rejection

The above is a poisonous cocktail for anybody who dares stepping away from "normalcy".

So back to my point, you can't change these people, even if its for the better... but the one thing you can and should change is the way these things affect you dear! -I know its way easier said than done- but if you let this neardental ideology control the way in which you chose to live your life, you'll be doomed.
Love, Light and Support your way!
x

[Bluelight]

Well good luck I came out to one Chinese person during my year abroad, as it came up that he thought that me and this girl were dating. He laughed nervously, somewhat shocked, and then proceeded to say that I was the first gay person he'd ever met. He then told me about how gay people in China have to hide, as you said. But the thing is, if you're in a city that has a gay bar, that's proof enough that acceptance is on the way.

[meridannight]

actually, China has one of the most tolerant and liberal history where homosexuality is concerned. homosexuality was always thought to be a natural variation in human nature and behavior there for thousands of years. guys could actually live together in China while in the Renaissance Europe they were persecuted by the Inquisition.

i admire Chinese history because of this humaneness they exhibited. it wasn't till coming into contact with the West that the Chinese (and Japanese) cultures started to rethink their stance on homosexuality due to the vehement and absurd condemnation of it by the Europeans. the Chinese got it right two thousand years ago where the West still hasn't fully gotten it even today.

[MercerMerry]

Keith....be strong, brother. It is good to see that you have accepted yourself and are only in the closet because of societal pressure. Since closets are really only for dresses, I hope you are able to leave yours soon. Being in Hangzhou may prove to be the best thing for you...you'll experience more acceptance and gain more friends with interests that are similar to your own.
You sound like a very humble, yet prideful man...one who is a jewel to behold. I pray your life brings many blessings...joy, love and freedom to name a few.

[MoonLemon]

Social change is a strange little thing, and the individual opinions of people have so many factors that shape them. If someone is brought up with a certain belief, led by their own psychological biases to confirm them every day, and then firmly convinced their unfounded biases are correct, they can easily justify hate. However, depending on a person's personality, they can be swayed. There's a certain amount of open-mindness that has to be there. In addition, young people are a great medium for social change. If you are in high school and trying to figure out the world, and someone you consider your friend comes out to you as gay... it's powerful. I've had friends tell me that I was the first gay person they ever met, and that me simply coming out to them helped them see that gay people are well... just people. The more and more people that come out and face that stigma... the more social change happens. The younger generation gets some insight on the differences among people.

It's so easy to turn the blind eye to a group of people when you don't care... so easy not to educate yourself and stay with your cultural biases. At the end of the day, it's causing LGBT youth here in the USA to have suicide rates of about 3x more the average population... that's disgusting... even here where it's so accepted in so many places!

Having a place where being gay is okay is so important <3