What should I do
08-23-2014, 06:18 AM
I really need to let off some steam and get some advice from people who are not my personal friends to have a better view point.
the point up the the ***************** is from an old post but rewritten if you recoginze the post. I decided to get the most exact date unlike last time.
I met my current boy friend (Ig/Mick he is Thai and 34) 4 years ago though a friend Justin. A few months after knowing Mick in Fall of 2010 I fell madly in love with him.
Later in our relationship he opened it for a short time, and he got jealous and closed our relationship. I decided that I would try something new to keep my b/f happy.
Later down the road in December of 2012 he graduated Georgia State University with his master's degree as Mental Heath Nurse practitioner. He wanted to take a Job in Phoenix, I told him that he would loose money in the long run even though his salary was $20,000 higher because he wanted to return to Georgia and go back to school. I wanted to beg him to stay. I almost began to tell him that when I bit my tongue. I decided to let him go, I couldn't be the person to hold him back. At this point I am still in school so I couldn't join him.
I became very depressed. I missed cooking for him, cleaning up for him, the smell of him. As time went on in Phoenix I visited him and we went to California in spring of 2013. I enjoyed our trip.
After I returned to Atlanta I was very ecstatic and in love with him. I proposed to him over the phone, telling him how much I wanted to marry him. He refused and told me he would never marry me no matter what. I was crushed but I continued to talk to him
Later on He became more distant. He told me he was going to meet-up groups to compensate for missing me and he didn't want to talk on the phone more than an hour a week. He told me that if I wanted to talk more than an hour a week something was mentally wrong with me.
I got really upset and just held the feelings inside. In August 2013 I made a demand that he return to Atlanta. I had this gut feeling that something was terribly wrong. I told him that if he did not return I was going to leave him.
He returned to Atlanta and spent time with me in a hotel room. I was very upset because he focused on spending 50% of the time with his friends. He asked me if I wanted to visit one of his friends Antonio. I said I would join him. He was driving trying to send a text.
He handed the phone to me so he could drive. However, he kept an eye on me to make sure I would not search his phone. A text message popped up as I told Antonio that we were going to his place.
It was from a guy Alan(Scott) who he met in a club that was a Spanish student at Arizona State University. it said, "it was nice to see you cuddle I hope you want to cum again"
I was devastated and keep this to myself. I was talking to Antonio and he was telling me I needed to trust Mick that he was a good guy like just had said to me when he introduced me to mick. I told Antonio that he lied and he said maybe it looks that way to you but mick is a nice guy.
so i decided to confront mick after he left Atlanta on the phone I had to threaten to call Scott. He admitted that he had oral with Scott for a second but forced him off and that it only happened because he was drunk. I was livid and upset and threatened to break up.
He begged me not to breakup and he cried and he was very remorseful. I told him I could not trust him ever again because he had lied to me. I was very upset. I demanded a polygraph.
He eventually agreed to the polygraph. I decided to ask the questions in this format "since you have been in Phoenix, have you done x." my friend encouraged me to change it to "Since you have been with Brandon" He then confessed to having oral sex with his best friend yanto. We worked out that incident to just before he wanted to have an open relationship.
I became very livid and required him to let me track his location all the time, he agreed. I shouldn't have but I did it sounds crazy. I looked at the dating app and saw an Asian guy that was always within 200 ft of him. I confronted him and he admitted to hanging out with this guy all the time. There were many fights due to where he went.
I decided that in December of 2013 things had gone too far. I asked Mick to join me in couples counseling when he returned in January and he refused. He also asked me to disable tracking on him. I complied and removed the tracking he had previously agreed to.
Once in Atlanta he became hooked on the clubs. It was funny the clubs and drinking caused him to cheat, yet he was putting him self in the same temptation again. He said he loved me but he would never change his behavior.
In summer of 2014 we had a heated debate on the first day of classes for me so we broke up for 6 weeks. I was extremely heart broken. I cried myself to sleep, I was extremely crushed. I was in counseling to deal with the stress of his cheating; however, he would not go to personal counseling or couples' counseling.
His friend yanto who he cheated with sent a message to me on face book which started a tirade which dragged several friends into the fight which also contributed to our breakup. It was nasty we fought about the cheating in front of his friends on Facebook. Sometimes he would not talk to me unless I talked in front of his friends.
after 4 weeks I started to feel better. I had a picture video of us and all our good times. I sent him an email with a link to the video. I wanted to end on a good note. After an hour or two I got a call back that he wanted to begin couples' counseling. He shared the video with a Nurse Practitioner of mental health in Phoenix which made me made mad. I thought this was personal and it hurt.
********************************new stuff from last post***********************************
After the first counseling session I ran out trying to get away from him I was upset and felt panicked. He chased after me and asked when the next appointment was and I told him you know when it is. I scheduled it as you requested.
He was almost late the the first. After the second one we had a pre-counseling date where we went to dairy queen. he held me in his arms on the way up there and finally sat next to me when we went to counseling. My heart somewhat melted. I was so ecstatic. We later agreed to meet once every Thursday in counseling, and the couples councilor made us to agree to complete 3 sessions of personal counseling before seeing her again. We both were told we had serious self-esteem problems. He kept telling the councilor that he thinks I have borderline personality. My personal councilor that that was rubbish.
On the way home he was very affection holding me. After that he started to become very cold and distant. He would not be affectionate. Four weeks after counseling he was very affection and loving but would not have sex. He also failed to complete personal counseling.
He refused to have sex so I gave him an ultimatum. have sex or we breakup and I wont see you. He was considering it seriously but I decided not push it because pressuring someone for sex is not great.
I did give him an ultimatum, either go to personal counseling or breakup. He has been very affectionate recently and we had phone sex. He finally decided to go to counseling and he told me he was staying in Atlanta because of me.
He went to the club tonight. I sent him a message that said if you cheat please use a condom I don't want HIV. I was upset because he knows when he gets drunk he has blackouts. He even has blackouts when he is sober. I'm not sure why. I feel like he trying to push me away again with going to the clubs.
What are your thoughts.
the point up the the ***************** is from an old post but rewritten if you recoginze the post. I decided to get the most exact date unlike last time.
I met my current boy friend (Ig/Mick he is Thai and 34) 4 years ago though a friend Justin. A few months after knowing Mick in Fall of 2010 I fell madly in love with him.
Later in our relationship he opened it for a short time, and he got jealous and closed our relationship. I decided that I would try something new to keep my b/f happy.
Later down the road in December of 2012 he graduated Georgia State University with his master's degree as Mental Heath Nurse practitioner. He wanted to take a Job in Phoenix, I told him that he would loose money in the long run even though his salary was $20,000 higher because he wanted to return to Georgia and go back to school. I wanted to beg him to stay. I almost began to tell him that when I bit my tongue. I decided to let him go, I couldn't be the person to hold him back. At this point I am still in school so I couldn't join him.
I became very depressed. I missed cooking for him, cleaning up for him, the smell of him. As time went on in Phoenix I visited him and we went to California in spring of 2013. I enjoyed our trip.
After I returned to Atlanta I was very ecstatic and in love with him. I proposed to him over the phone, telling him how much I wanted to marry him. He refused and told me he would never marry me no matter what. I was crushed but I continued to talk to him
Later on He became more distant. He told me he was going to meet-up groups to compensate for missing me and he didn't want to talk on the phone more than an hour a week. He told me that if I wanted to talk more than an hour a week something was mentally wrong with me.
I got really upset and just held the feelings inside. In August 2013 I made a demand that he return to Atlanta. I had this gut feeling that something was terribly wrong. I told him that if he did not return I was going to leave him.
He returned to Atlanta and spent time with me in a hotel room. I was very upset because he focused on spending 50% of the time with his friends. He asked me if I wanted to visit one of his friends Antonio. I said I would join him. He was driving trying to send a text.
He handed the phone to me so he could drive. However, he kept an eye on me to make sure I would not search his phone. A text message popped up as I told Antonio that we were going to his place.
It was from a guy Alan(Scott) who he met in a club that was a Spanish student at Arizona State University. it said, "it was nice to see you cuddle I hope you want to cum again"
I was devastated and keep this to myself. I was talking to Antonio and he was telling me I needed to trust Mick that he was a good guy like just had said to me when he introduced me to mick. I told Antonio that he lied and he said maybe it looks that way to you but mick is a nice guy.
so i decided to confront mick after he left Atlanta on the phone I had to threaten to call Scott. He admitted that he had oral with Scott for a second but forced him off and that it only happened because he was drunk. I was livid and upset and threatened to break up.
He begged me not to breakup and he cried and he was very remorseful. I told him I could not trust him ever again because he had lied to me. I was very upset. I demanded a polygraph.
He eventually agreed to the polygraph. I decided to ask the questions in this format "since you have been in Phoenix, have you done x." my friend encouraged me to change it to "Since you have been with Brandon" He then confessed to having oral sex with his best friend yanto. We worked out that incident to just before he wanted to have an open relationship.
I became very livid and required him to let me track his location all the time, he agreed. I shouldn't have but I did it sounds crazy. I looked at the dating app and saw an Asian guy that was always within 200 ft of him. I confronted him and he admitted to hanging out with this guy all the time. There were many fights due to where he went.
I decided that in December of 2013 things had gone too far. I asked Mick to join me in couples counseling when he returned in January and he refused. He also asked me to disable tracking on him. I complied and removed the tracking he had previously agreed to.
Once in Atlanta he became hooked on the clubs. It was funny the clubs and drinking caused him to cheat, yet he was putting him self in the same temptation again. He said he loved me but he would never change his behavior.
In summer of 2014 we had a heated debate on the first day of classes for me so we broke up for 6 weeks. I was extremely heart broken. I cried myself to sleep, I was extremely crushed. I was in counseling to deal with the stress of his cheating; however, he would not go to personal counseling or couples' counseling.
His friend yanto who he cheated with sent a message to me on face book which started a tirade which dragged several friends into the fight which also contributed to our breakup. It was nasty we fought about the cheating in front of his friends on Facebook. Sometimes he would not talk to me unless I talked in front of his friends.
after 4 weeks I started to feel better. I had a picture video of us and all our good times. I sent him an email with a link to the video. I wanted to end on a good note. After an hour or two I got a call back that he wanted to begin couples' counseling. He shared the video with a Nurse Practitioner of mental health in Phoenix which made me made mad. I thought this was personal and it hurt.
********************************new stuff from last post***********************************
After the first counseling session I ran out trying to get away from him I was upset and felt panicked. He chased after me and asked when the next appointment was and I told him you know when it is. I scheduled it as you requested.
He was almost late the the first. After the second one we had a pre-counseling date where we went to dairy queen. he held me in his arms on the way up there and finally sat next to me when we went to counseling. My heart somewhat melted. I was so ecstatic. We later agreed to meet once every Thursday in counseling, and the couples councilor made us to agree to complete 3 sessions of personal counseling before seeing her again. We both were told we had serious self-esteem problems. He kept telling the councilor that he thinks I have borderline personality. My personal councilor that that was rubbish.
On the way home he was very affection holding me. After that he started to become very cold and distant. He would not be affectionate. Four weeks after counseling he was very affection and loving but would not have sex. He also failed to complete personal counseling.
He refused to have sex so I gave him an ultimatum. have sex or we breakup and I wont see you. He was considering it seriously but I decided not push it because pressuring someone for sex is not great.
I did give him an ultimatum, either go to personal counseling or breakup. He has been very affectionate recently and we had phone sex. He finally decided to go to counseling and he told me he was staying in Atlanta because of me.
He went to the club tonight. I sent him a message that said if you cheat please use a condom I don't want HIV. I was upset because he knows when he gets drunk he has blackouts. He even has blackouts when he is sober. I'm not sure why. I feel like he trying to push me away again with going to the clubs.
What are your thoughts.
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