So ever since my relationship ended last March, I've been having some bad luck meeting up with guys. With the ones I actually click with, at least. For a few months after our break up, I stayed away from dating in general, but since we didn't last that long, I got over it pretty quick so I decided to slowly creep into the dating world and see how that would go. I've met a lot of cool people here and there, through out the way, and so far, I've clicked really well with two. The first one way more. The first one I've mentioned before on here about a month or so ago. We had 4 really good dates and after that, he slowly stopped talking to me. I ended up finding out that he really didn't know what he wanted, and that there was a lot of stuff he wanted to tell me, which I never found out cause' he never responded to my text. From there, we never spoke again, but I still have his contact info' just in case since it wasn't that long ago. Grabbing onto some hope isn't that bad, I guess lol Then the second guy I recently had one good date with. I honestly never had so much with someone in a long time. So after that, he became really reserved and closed off. So I confronted him, and pretty much told him on what page I'm on and how I like him, and would like to go on more dates with him to get to know him better. I got a "Yeah. Sure" response, which didn't sound that convincing. He's still acting pretty closed off. So I just backed off for now, to see if he'll put in any effort, cause' I'm not gonna' force anything, if it's not there. I'm still honestly not over the "4 dates" guy, though. We spoke so little, but I've never clicked with someone that much before. Even with my ex who I had feelings for, I remember our first dates being pretty fancy and with this other guy we just walked around the neighborhood on all of our dates and I still had such a good time. I've been contemplating on texting him again, since it's been about a month or so since the incident happened, but I feel like it would be a bad idea. Considering the fact, that if he even liked me that much, I'm sure he would have messaged me or something. Unless he's really good at showing he doesn't care. I feel like it was an "unfinished business" type of situation and I would hate it if I completely gave up on trying, if there were still something there. My friend told me to try and forget about him, but it's really hard! I've never had this happen before with a guy. I feel like a pyscho for feeling like this with a guy I've only went on four dates with, but I guess it went that well. I usually push these things out of my mind and just forget about them in the snap of a finger, but he's in there and hasn't left ever since.
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Welcome to single-hood... Its like this for everyone who single. Something about having to kiss a lot of frogs before meeting your prince....
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Will: If it feels unfinished, there's no harm in sending him a casual message asking how he's doing and what's new. If he doesn't respond, you'll have your answer - if he does, who knows? It's worth a shot.
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Yeah. My only issue is how we left it at, so that's why I feel a little uncomfortable sending a text, but I guess I'll try and see. Thanks!
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AdamAndWill Wrote:Will: If it feels unfinished, there's no harm in sending him a casual message asking how he's doing and what's new. If he doesn't respond, you'll have your answer - if he does, who knows? It's worth a shot.
My thought exactly. Even if he responds,you could see if he's still interested in you or not. But doing nothing gets you no where. Take that step yeah?
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Geeze… one of the truly sad things is that people don't know *how* to communicate. So we're often left wondering WTF is really going on with people.
I see no harm in shooting the guy a message. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Yeah, you may not get the response you'd like but at least it might give you more clarity.
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He responded pretty fast. We exchanged a few texts while I was working and he hasn't responded since, which was in the afternoon. May be busy. May not. If I don't get a response from here, then I guess that is my answer. Thanks for the responses. Kinda' needed to vent and as well some reassurance.
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Wardo94 Wrote:He responded pretty fast. We exchanged a few texts while I was working and he hasn't responded since, which was in the afternoon. May be busy. May not. If I don't get a response from here, then I guess that is my answer. Thanks for the responses. Kinda' needed to vent and as well some reassurance.
Sounds good~ I would have a little faith that he's busy doing something in the real life,thus not able to respond immediately. And sometimes, people read your message in a hurry,but forget to reply back,that also happen,to me and some of my friends,so keep that in mind too. 
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So I just grew a pair and told him why I texted him, since he wasn't responding. He responded back saying that he was afraid to show his flaws to me, and that I would end up judging him. And to be with someone else again, and get hurt. I responded back reassuring him and telling him that I didn't care, blah blah blah. Which he finally texted saying "Maybe we should try this again?". I said yeah, only if he was on the same page as I am. That was yesterday, early afternoon. He hasn't responded since then. I really don't know if he's that afraid to put in commitment, so I don't know if should be showing him that I'm not "one" of those guys or if I should back off and let things fall into place. I texted him a few hours ago saying that I won't be waiting for him to text me whenever he wants to, and that whenever he has his answer, I'll be here. He just does that too much. He throws in a few texts and then leaves me hanging for a while. After our 4th date, I guess he noticed we were getting a bit serious, and that was when he started doing that. But before that, we would talk frequently and he was actually the clingy one on me so something made him stop texting me as much. I have no idea what to take from his silence and if I should do anything.
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He's probably feeling those same feelings as you but he may be afraid of them, he's already admitted to you he is afraid to show you his flaws and afraid you will judge him. Sounds like he is afraid of getting involved with someone and getting hurt. Usually people don't get those cold feet unless they are starting to feel something for the other person and that triggers a defensive response of wanting to put up your guard for fear of being rejected and hurt.
I like how you stated your intentions clearly that you aren't going to wait around for him to respond to texts but if he wants to talk, you'll be there.
So I would follow through with that. Don't toss him to the curb, but don't be sitting around by the phone like a desperate cat lady either. Just get back out there and keep moving on with your life, hang with friends, meet some new dudes to go out on dates with. If it was meant to be with "silent 4th date boy", then it will happen, he will come around after he wrestles with whatever reservations he has. In the meantime, move on with your life but don't be afraid to be a good friend and provide an ear if he needs one.
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