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08-24-2014, 06:59 AM

So I've been dating a really great guy for about six months. Everything is going great, but I do have a nagging question about our sex life. Since we started dating, we've had oral sex twice and mutually masturbated maybe three additional times. He says that he has a very low sex drive because of medication that he takes which I completely understand because I take an antidepressant which lowers my sex drive as well. But...I still have one and I'd really like to have more serious sex with him. What's a good way to bring this up without putting pressure on him or making him feel inadequate? I'm just really worried about ruining things since we have such a great relationship otherwise.

08-24-2014, 02:54 PM

Reader1985 Wrote:But...I still have one and I'd really like to have more serious sex with him. What's a good way to bring this up without putting pressure on him or making him feel inadequate? I'm just really worried about ruining things since we have such a great relationship otherwise.

so what exactly does "more serious sex" mean? DO you mean having sex more often, or trying out new things like anal sex? Having oral sex is a perfectly fine form of sex!

Sexual compatibility is, of course, a big part of a relationship. You know how sensitive/ touchy your boyfriend may be. Make your feelings known! Tell him you want to try new things, and having this more "serious" sex with him. Make sure he knows that you are willing to go at whatever pace is best for the 2 of you and that you care for him. Seeing how you communicate in a troubling time is also a good indicator for a relationship!

Sit him down, and just say how you feel! Get all your feelings on the table and sort them out.

Bhp91126 · 08-24-2014, 03:41 PM

If you want more sex, try to initiate sex more often. With sex the appetite often comes while eating and as long as he's not turning you down, keep going. And about the more 'serious sex', ask him about what he wants to do sometimes when you have a serious conversation. It helps if you guys are holding hands, hugging or cuddling at the time, so it feels like a 'safe' situation.

08-24-2014, 06:15 PM

I think at this point you should be able to bring it up directly with him and have a conversation about it.

If medications are the problem then you will have to decide if this is something you can accept and live with.

An honest conversation with him and with yourself is the best solution to most of these kinds of things IMO

08-24-2014, 06:24 PM

When my dad Lexy was on anti-depression he had lost all his sex drive and it ran my Dad Jakey crazy. When i turned 15, dad called up a family meeting telling us that he was planning on taking Lexy off the meds that we should be ready to meet a different Alex. It did, Lexy was so spaced out, moody but it lasted for few months and we got him back the way he was and he won that medical crap. Talk to your BF and see if they can gradually lower his medication intake, more than likely your BF is being over medicated.

Borg69 · 08-24-2014, 06:56 PM

Maybe he's not Into anal sex. Some guys are perfectly content with bj's & hj's.

08-24-2014, 07:11 PM

Borg69 Wrote:Maybe he's not Into anal sex. Some guys are perfectly content with bj's & hj's.

That also could be a possibility, I know my dads are into anal sex but I have many other gay friends that aren't.

08-25-2014, 06:57 PM

Just talk. Yeah you are going to most likely say something that feels like pressuring, this is why you say at first:

"I'm not pressuring you.... but I need to know what is the deal here."

Communication just needs to be done - you both need to know what the other needs/wants or this relationship just won't pan out.