Apologies to all GS

[Steve]

I forgive him meme. I never thought bad of you either. I've said things and written things in my life that I wish I could take back, but sometimes the damage is done. Those moments haunt me. I can't very well condemn someone for being as human as I am.

The reply was too harsh and out of line. I'll wager Ray knows that and is pretty upset with himself. A private message to the poster, an apology with a abbreviated explanation, might be the best answer to the situation.

[AdamAndWill]

(Adam) I know that Will already weighed in on this, but let me just add that I don't think that this is an offense that requires capital punishment. Please, spare Ray the lethal injection. I get the feeling from what he said to Will that he's beating himself up worse than any of us possibly could.

And I, for one, am hardly the one who's "without sin" enough to cast the first stone? Who among us is?

[DawnArmy]

What did I miss? :confused:

Second there, what did I miss?

[Alex]

Oh come on meme, I read that thread from stingray and although the reaction was a surprise, I've got to admit that my boy Jake can sometimes be as blunt as he is. Jake, although a gay guy, almost hates everything that is gay, through the years I had him accepted some behavior, but I can't help some of his own behaviors. You heard the story of the shoemaker who wear torn shoes, well Jakey is a behavioral psychologist who has the ability to understand several behavior, but sometimes just forget about his professional title and just jump in the pool of insults. Give Ray a chance meme. At least a chance to apologize by his own.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Meme.... I would (and I doubt others would) ever let Ray's words be reflected on you. He owns his own words and actions, just as we all do.

I think there is a very fine line between.. being able to speak your mind honestly, and being abusive or attacking someone verbally. I think that Ray -did- cross that line. But, at the same time, I (and probably everyone else, although I can't speak for them all) would be happy to give him another chance. Sometimes, something just trips your triggers and you go with your gut on it and then look back later and go "Oh fuck". I have a feeling this was one of those moments for him.

He gives the forum an interesting and honest perspective. And, to be honest, I was surprised when I saw his posts as he usually seems so much more.... level headed, yeah? I think it was just an aberrant moment, and hopefully one that won't be repeated.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Hmm.

The only thing that keeps my posts on the side of nice is I count to 20 slowly when typing in anger then take a deep breath an read what I wrote. Then struggle with the urge to say 'fuck it, they deserve the truth' before deleting and either re-writing a nicer version, or just not replying to the thread at all.

Mind the length of time I count is wholly dependent on how many cocktails I have in me.... I try to just not come around when I have been drinking (yeah there are reasons why I have been posting a lot less lately)...

So I can understand the internal struggle to speak ones mine and keep it 'nice'.

I am a firm believer in blunt truth.

However my bluntness was tempered way back when I was shot in my 'hunting accident'. I learned at the very least one doesn't list the flaws of another's relationship with their SO whilst they are holding a firearm. - Accidents happen.

If someone is being a dick, they need to be told. If they are doing something stupid, they need to be informed of why it is stupid and told to stop doing that stupid thing.

If someone is getting involved with a sick and twisted mind, and you know that mind is sick and twisted, you need to speak up before that person gets hurt....

Besides Ray is straight, he receives an auto-forgiveness on a lot of LGBT stuff because of ignorance and because he just doesn't have that common frame of reference.

We all have good days and bad days, we all have subjects that just rub us the wrong way.

Its just one post, let it slide.

If he continues whatever and starts posting like that more often, the we address the issue. A one off or an occasional mean spirited, or angry post is totally forgivable.

[Bhp91126]

How dare you release this breeder Neanderthal upon us unsuspecting homofolk? Imagine the damage the imbecile could have inflicted upon that tenderest of plants that is our self-confidence with his insensitive rambling trying to tear down the comforts of our ivory-tower of victimhood.

Jk.

I agree with what seems to be the consensus around here, that his posts were hurtful and ott, but that you are not responsible. I really appreciate Ray to be on here and give some friendly, much-needed straight man perspective.

[Maverick]

Who among us hasn't said or done something "in the heat of the moment" that we regret later? I'd say everyone. We all make mistakes, the important thing is to apologize and move on. Ray feels really bad, he mentioned something to me as well, so in my opinion I don't feel banning him is the right thing to.

My 2 cents....

[Buzzer]

How dare you release this breeder Neanderthal upon us unsuspecting homofolk?

There was no need to bring Meme's race into this!

[Camfer]

I am always careful who I introduce into a community, so I can surely understand Meme's reaction.

No one, apparently even including StingRay, feels that StingRay's posting was appropriate. I read it and figured I'd give it a couple of days and send StingRay a constructive note about it. He can express himself in kinder ways than he did in that posting.

I actually really cherish having StingRay here. We need the voice of a brash 20-something straight man to help us understand some things. We need someone to help in all those straight crush threads. We need someone to talk to us about het sex. We need someone to keep us informed of Meme's doings when Meme is too busy to post. We need someone who is straight and 97% gay friendly, because it's a valuable voice.

StingRay's got a chance to learn from us, too. Sounds like the process has already begun. Perhaps an apology from him and a promise to be kinder would do a lot to heal some wounds he opened up. His words probably made a lot of people feel very unsafe. I know that I would welcome his apology and continued participation.