Dropped out of university, parents hate me now

[Anonymous]

So few days ago I dropped out of university on my own ( I'm 22). I realized I don't like what I'm studying and I didn't want to waste my time on it anymore. My parents made me to study philology, but actually I never wanted to do it myself. Both of my parents have bachelor degrees and they obviously cannot even imagine their son not having one.

I had to study 4 years, I finished the third year with lots of failed exams and just decided to take my documents out of there. Maybe some of you may think it's foolish to give up, but I just couldn't stand it anymore. I want to get some profession and get a job.

When they found out then were furious. I'm now a traitor, a thief of the family money, mentally ill, etc. Now they're both kind of giving me a silent treatment and I feel horrible when I'm at home. I feel a lot better when I'm outside the house, just walking somewhere. And when I get home, they're yelling again "where were you wandering, start studying!" I'm feeling kind of depressed, I've lost my appetite and feel the need to cry all the time. Sometimes I even think about suicide.

I can understand them a bit, probably they had big hopes on me. But I just want to work, no matter where, just work. Any job is better than this studying crap. Will they ever get over their anger?

[Mark]

I believe they will eventually get over the anger. I think uni isn't right for everyone, and after 3 years you kinda know if it is right or not! If you were failing and had to re-sit but didn't feel any passion for it then leaving seems to be right. You have to take everything they are throwing at you with a pinch of salt, as it is the initial anger thats overcome them. You know you are none of the above - just don't let it eat away at you.

Is there anywhere you can escape for a few days just for a break? Family? Friends? Don't sink into a dark place over this, as there is light at the end of the tunnel - you just may need to fight to find it.

The best way to combat doubts of your parents initially let them cool down, then the questions will be along the lines of 'so what are you going to do with your life?' - some sort of answer for that however vague may be ideal to come up with.

If you ever need to talk to someone even to rant, you can always message one of us and I'm sure anyone would get back to you.

[Iceblink]

if you are thinking about suicide sometimes, get to counseling right away. I had to say that before anything else.

There is one piece of information you have left out and that is, did your parents contribute to paying for college? If they have, I can see why they might be upset, but ultimately it still is your choice. Nobody can force you to go and they will have to learn to live with that.

You can make it without a college degree. Many people have done it and I am sure some are going to post in this thread. My boyfriend is one of those people and is very successful, although he did it a time when it was easier to do. Just remember,you will have to work harder at it and the breaks may not come as often as they do for someone with a degree.

Edit- I wanted to point something out about my boyfriend and his success that I should have mentioned. He was in the military and is retired Air Force and also went to trade school. Have you considered other types of education and gaining experience?

[Anonymous]

Yes, they were paying for my studies. That's why I'm a thief in their opinion.

Unfortunately no, I don't have any close friends. Only a brother, but he has a family and I don't want to bother them.

[LJay]

I dropped out for five years before I went back to finish my degree. I went through a lot of stuff in those five years and it was a battle to finish, but eventually I did get the degree.

It make make life easier with your parents if you try hard to figure out why it did not work and then make some sort of goals for the future. If you share that with them, they may not see you as giving up, but as making an alternate choice. Good luck.

[TwisttheLeaf]

My first question is, if you were unhappy with the direction your studies were taking, why not change the direction rather than dropping out? Find something that interests -you- to get into and study, yeah? Being one that struggles to put myself through Uni and still afford to feed and house myself, I have to tell you, I wouldn't take for granted the free education you're receiving from your parents. Take advantage of it to put yourself in a position where you can not just work, but do something you love.

As others have said, if you're having suicidal thoughts. You need to get in to some counseling or therapy. A hotline will help you find the help you need. Give them a call.

[Buzzer]

So few days ago I dropped out of university on my own ( I'm 22). I realized I don't like what I'm studying and I didn't want to waste my time on it anymore. My parents made me to study philology, but actually I never wanted to do it myself. Both of my parents have bachelor degrees and they obviously cannot even imagine their son not having one.

I had to study 4 years, I finished the third year with lots of failed exams and just decided to take my documents out of there. Maybe some of you may think it's foolish to give up, but I just couldn't stand it anymore. I want to get some profession and get a job.

When they found out then were furious. I'm now a traitor, a thief of the family money, mentally ill, etc. Now they're both kind of giving me a silent treatment and I feel horrible when I'm at home. I feel a lot better when I'm outside the house, just walking somewhere. And when I get home, they're yelling again "where were you wandering, start studying!" I'm feeling kind of depressed, I've lost my appetite and feel the need to cry all the time. Sometimes I even think about suicide.

I can understand them a bit, probably they had big hopes on me. But I just want to work, no matter where, just work. Any job is better than this studying crap. Will they ever get over their anger?

I withdrew for 2 1/2 years for exactly all the reasons you gave. And I received exactly the same reaction.

My parents were very sullen and didn't speak to me at all for a few months, but before I even re-registered to go back they had more or less gotten over it, other than still occasionally nagging me to go back to school.

It may take awhile but I do not believe it will be permanent.

[matty7]

well firstly a big hug for been honest enough to know that this course wasn't for you at this time in your life, this was a brave move on your part , your parents will come around in some form but it will take time as I know through my nephews life who is similar age - just accept they may never be happy with your choice, have you got a back up plan ? do you have different career opportunity's lined up or have you just decided enough is enough -

as bad as it may sound - at this point in time have you thought about a sit down with your parents to explain why you made this decision and what you do have planned, or do they have anything that could help you get on to something else, if they feel included then that would make your life more bearable , but don't go down the route of depression about this, if you do then seek some help m8

[MisterLove]

[...] Now they're both kind of giving me a silent treatment [...]

It's only natural that they should feel upset but I find this kind of behavior (silent treatment) immature and unacceptable. It doesn't solve anything and only makes things worse. I'm sure they'll get over it soon, though.

Maybe you were a bit wreckless but it's your life and this is not the end of the world. You're still very young and you can resume your studies soon or do something else entirely.

I'm a teacher and I see cases like yours almost everyday, it's nothing to worry about. Cheer up!

[MisterLove]

And no, they don't hate you, they're just upset!