hey

[HvH]

I haven't been happy in my own skin since I was 14. I'm not the kind of person to express themselves like that you know? It just isn't me. I do have desires and dreams but my sexual orientation isn't my life. It's just a small factor I need to understand better. My father is right wing conservative. I know he wouldn't accept me. I don't want to add stress onto him by telling him that his only son is gay. My family doesn't need to know that I'm gay. It's a private thing only I need to know.

I may be a little naive but I doubt anyone will see my picture on this site. I don't have very many friends and most of them rarely do go online. And I know for a fact non of them are gay so they wouldn't be here. It will be weird to have no profile picture on here. Every site I'm on I have a picture of me so people will know what I look like. Plus Triangle72 isn't the handle I use. It's a different one. I just thought of this one on the top of my head.

I really do not know why people expect us to be out and proud, straight people don't announce their sex life to the world. I don't understand guys who's homosexuality becomes their only defining feature. My sexual orientation is my business and it is not an argument of being ashamed of it, it is more of a fact that I am currently happy with people not knowing.

and my father is just as right wing, he is not somebody that I would ever want to come out too, so am definitely not planning to

[Triangle72]

Ugh night shift? that must suck, feel free to contact me any time you want to chat

Will do man. You definitely sound like someone I can relate to. I don't know how the chat thingy works on this site. I don't feel like trying to figure that our right now because I have to go to bed. I'm tired. I'll try to chat with you next time I get on.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Hey my name is Alex. I'm from Grand Rapids, MI. I decided to make an account on here because it's pretty late where I live and I can't sleep. My profile picture is me. I was a little scared to post a picture of me on here but I know no one I know will ever go on this site. I never went onto a gay forum or anything like that before. I've actually never really talked to a gay person 1 on 1 before. At my high school I didn't know anyone who was or is gay. I know one of my mom's friends is gay but I never seen him before. I've been gay since I was 14 years old. When I find out I wasn't normal and didn't like girls I got depressed and kind of became a loner. I've never been in a relationship before. I probably would have dated girls in high school but non really seemed into me and I don't know how to flirt like my friends do. I recently graduated high school just this year. I work at a part-time job at Wal-Mart. I don't plan on going to college anytime soon because of the expenses. Plus I wouldn't like it. I didn't like high school doubt I'd like college. I'm not a very social person. On my free time I'd normally just play video games all day and talk with friends through Skype. I guess the reason why I'm here is to talk to other gay people about battling being gay. I'm pretty good at keeping it a secret and will never tell anyone I know in real life. I don't think I'd want to look for a romantic relationship on here. I don't have the skills to talk and act all romantic. I'm mostly just here to talk with others about the struggles of being gay and maybe get some tips on how to fight it. Well that's it.. I guess. If you read all of that then I'm surprised. It feels kind of weird letting my feelings out like that.

Well first Hi there and Welcome

And I'm going to show you my sincerest welcome to you, which may seem a bit mean spirited... but I'm going to make a few corrections to what you wrote because I do care and I feel for ya.

1. I've been gay since I was 14 years old.

Um no... You have been gay since before birth. You just realized it when you were 14, were able to start fathoming interpersonal relationships of the lovers sort. But you were born gay, not magically became gay at a later point.

2. When I find out I wasn't normal and didn't like girls I got depressed and kind of became a loner.

Truth is you are normal, for a gay boy you are totally and wholly normal.

You are just not a heterosexual, thus you don't fit into the majorities ideas of what 'normal' is.

What is normal for LGBT folk is that they spend their first part of their life (that part we call childhood) utterly isolated from the rest of the LGBT world. Most have no real clue what being LGBT is about, and sadly, those around them tend to paint this horrific picture of hellfire, brimstone and horrors beyond imagining, because you know society is prickish when it comes to LGBT.

Most LGBT remain 'alone' in their gay world until their late teens early 20's, when they start meeting other LGBT and start going to places where LGBT people congregate.

Most LGBT keep their orientation to their self until later. A few do come out in their early to mid teens, but the majority still keep silent about it until they are out of the parents home.... Some I fear remain silent and try to be heterosexual and play that life style until much later in life.

The silence thing is called 'being in the closet'.... We all have our closet time, and all went through the horrors and tragedy, the doubt and fear and the real sense of safety that being in a closet brings with it.

So.... with all that said, I declare you perfectly, and utterly normal....

For a gay dude. :tongue:

Aside from the job at walmart, most LGBT have a similar life to yours - you know boring..... So I declare you normal there as well.

So I'm sorry if I burst your bubble about being abnormal.... Don't hate me forever please.

[gay23pk]

Hey my name is Alex. I'm from Grand Rapids, MI. I decided to make an account on here because it's pretty late where I live and I can't sleep. My profile picture is me. I was a little scared to post a picture of me on here but I know no one I know will ever go on this site. I never went onto a gay forum or anything like that before. I've actually never really talked to a gay person 1 on 1 before. At my high school I didn't know anyone who was or is gay. I know one of my mom's friends is gay but I never seen him before. I've been gay since I was 14 years old. When I find out I wasn't normal and didn't like girls I got depressed and kind of became a loner. I've never been in a relationship before. I probably would have dated girls in high school but non really seemed into me and I don't know how to flirt like my friends do. I recently graduated high school just this year. I work at a part-time job at Wal-Mart. I don't plan on going to college anytime soon because of the expenses. Plus I wouldn't like it. I didn't like high school doubt I'd like college. I'm not a very social person. On my free time I'd normally just play video games all day and talk with friends through Skype. I guess the reason why I'm here is to talk to other gay people about battling being gay. I'm pretty good at keeping it a secret and will never tell anyone I know in real life. I don't think I'd want to look for a romantic relationship on here. I don't have the skills to talk and act all romantic. I'm mostly just here to talk with others about the struggles of being gay and maybe get some tips on how to fight it. Well that's it.. I guess. If you read all of that then I'm surprised. It feels kind of weird letting my feelings out like that.

Different country but almost same story and age. Your DP is adorable, would like to hear more about you

[CellarDweller]

welcome to the forum!

[BlueStar]

Will do man. You definitely sound like someone I can relate to. I don't know how the chat thingy works on this site. I don't feel like trying to figure that our right now because I have to go to bed. I'm tired. I'll try to chat with you next time I get on.

The chat works when you reach 50 posts.

[gay23pk]

50 is too much dear.

[Miles]

50 is too much dear.

If you post in the Word Games section, you can get to 50 pretty quickly.

welcome to gs alex

[wayward]

I will say this Triangle. What you have to say is somewhat familiar and somewhat frightening. When I was three years younger than you are now I absolutely hated myself for being gay. I did the "pray the gay away" and cried myself to sleep. I nearly ended up hurting myself at the time and had to get professional help after a complete breakdown. If I were to advise you... get a new perspective asap. I would suggest that being gay should not equate to being broken or abnormal. The mindset you are using now will likely be eating at you sooner or later. You are not the only one with issues connecting with people longstanding or otherwise. I just posted a thread about that Yesterday. I admit BlueStar has been helpful to me there. I hope you find adequate help, and that you don't the drear catch up with you.

[Frente]

Welcome to GS!
Like you, I spend most of my time by the computer, as I am not that social either. Well, that is who I was. After this summer I've been a little more social than usual (but only with my closest and dearest friends).
Don't worry about anything, we're here to help and listen to you if you need it - and, of course, laugh with you!
Trust me, you will not regret registering this forum