Hello and Help!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Hi,
For many years I have wanted to be intimate with a man.

Papillion x

What does that mean in real terms? Long Term Relationship, a bit of casual sex? Where between these extremes does this fall?

I fear that there are in general a few types of gay/bi men out there. I will cover a few (but not all) to give you a general idea here.

1. The Lover/LTR seeker. This type usually wants a person who is looking for more than a first time experience or casual sex. Your term 'intimate with a man' if used in adverts is going to be read by this type of guy as 'I just want to get my jollies here, no string attached'.

2. The player - this is the type of guy who seeks out casual sex partners, he too will read something like 'intimate with a man' with no connection to a LTR as you are just seeking a casual sex situation.

If you are adding you have been married three times, it makes it sound like youare one of those older guys who decided to play it straight and now all of the sudden are trying to recapture your youth and have do overs on life.

Typically neither the LTR not the player are interested in this because of the potential consequences of 'turning' a guy gay.

3. The 'bi-curious/Married but seeking discreet' may be more up your alley and they will find the potential here of casual sex on the side more inviting, however these type usually tend to be more internet chatters/sex texters than actually go out and do the deed because you see most are married and are fearful of if they get caught.

Lets say that you are looking for more than just casual sex, or that you know that you really want to be with a man for more than just sex....

I fear that the internet isn't rich ground for finding 'The one'. Even those sites which are dedicated to serious dating for relationships (like OKCupid) have more than their fair share of players.

Also note that when you start reading profiles there you rapidly discovered the majority are boy-scouts (some even feel like they are listing the boy-scout oath) or worse, they are seeking 'no drama' which this is a really fuzzy phrase since no drama can mean anything, any issue - which includes in your case having been married thrice and divorced.

What is also going to count against you is the label 'bisexual'. I fear that the general myth that bisexuals have to have both genders thus can't get into one LTR still exists out there.

While other bisexuals will get where you are coming from, you will be cutting out many gay males from the potential mate list simply because they just don't understand bisexuality and what it really means.


Hopes some of it helps.

See you around the forums later?

[Papillion]

Thanks for your reply; and effort in doing so.
All you have said is very interesting and helpful.
What I have said is genuine and what I seek is what I've said, but your analysis is what I have found.
Back to the drawing board and, perhaps, a re-brand!
Your comments are much appreciated.