How can I stop feeling this way about my straight friend?

[Jimmy]

I met this guy two years ago and I don't know how to make these feelings stop. I feel really stupid for asking for advice because I'm a grown man and I should know better!
He is 100% straight and I am under no illusion we will ever be together. I have never felt like this in my life, I can honestly say that I love him. I sound so pathetic, don't i? Haha

He is perfect. Inside and out.

I have known since I was a young age that I'm gay, but I'm still having a hard time with it. A few weeks ago I thought I was losing my mind and I had to tell someone. I decided to tell him because I knew he'd be ok with it. I didn't have the balls to tell him to his face, so I sent him a text. He didn't text back for about 10 hours! That was the longest 10 hours of my life haha! When he finally replied he said that it's ok and not to worry about it. We haven't spoke about it since, but I'm happy that he knows.

I'm not going to tell him that I'm in love with him because I don't want to make him feel uncomfortable around me. I've told him that he 's a good friend and his opinion of me means a lot.
I need to tone down my feelings for him. I need to stop thinking about him all the time because it's kinda holding me back from life, but I don't want to lose him as a friend!

Help me guys 😫

[Bhp91126]

Being in love is such a wonderful feeling, I'd say enjoy it while it lasts. Think of it as a platonic love affair.

This is one of the most frequent problems young gay men on the cusp of coming out have. So, you're definitively not alone. Everyone always says to limit contact, try to meet other guys etc etc. I say, do all that and enjoy being in love with your best friend. Someday soon you will be over this crush and it can make way for a great friendship. Just keep your fingers to yourself.

[Bluelight]

I do this a lot, but on a smaller scale. Usually I eventually move on, and then another straight crush takes me by surprise. Learn to live with it I guess, either that or suppress your emotions.

[LJay]

Well, the best thing that could happen would be for you to sit down with him and talk about it. Tell him that you know this feeilng is not rational but that you need help from a friend to deal with it. This is horribly difficult,but if he is a good friend he really can help.

And yes, I do realize this advice is as practical as wearing flip flops in a pig sty, but you could try.

[Camfer]

The fact that you love your friend is just fine. It shouldn't hold you back in life. You have an infinite capacity to love. Find yourself a boyfriend and don't compare him to your friend. You can love them both, in different ways.

[meridannight]

i was in a very similar situation a couple of years ago. i fell in love with a guy who i think is straight.

for me it was a little different in that he fucking started the thing. i barely even noticed him and one night he comes up to me, gets me drinks, talks to me, and feels me up in the process (not down there, but pretty much everywhere else). i thought he was into guys and interested. from the physical and emotional connection between us i could've sworn he was into guys. it FELT he was into guys. and i fucking fell for him. he was the most beautiful thing in my world and i truly cared about him. i still do.

at one point i just couldn't take it anymore and i made a move on him. that's where it came crashing down. i never really told him that i was in love with him, but he knows. i wasn't exactly hiding it from him. i didn't want to. he's a decent guy, never had problems with me being gay, or my feelings for him, but he confused the hell out of me.

the only way i got over him was when i realized i didn't have a chance with him. and i didn't realize that until i made a move on him and he didn't reciprocate. but yours is not exactly the same situation. you know he's not gay. you know you don't have a chance with him. it feels cruel but that's how things are. you have to move on from him and stop hoping for something to happen there. go out and meet other guys. look for sex or friendship with gay guys, either one could lead to something more. little by little it'll help you get over him.

[Borg69]

This is mother nature telling you that you need to be spending more time with gay friends.

You have biological, chemical, physical, and emotional/psychological needs that aren't being met. Biology is forcing them on you on the closest available subject.

If left on a deserted island you'd be talking to a volley ball named Wilson.

[lauj]

I feel for you, I really do. I've been in that kind of situation a couple of times. The most important thing in my opinion is that you guys stay together as friends. If you think telling him that your falling for him would ruin the friendship, don't do it. But if you think it would help solve this, than go for it. It really sucks to bottle up your feelings. Everything will start to remind you of your friend, when your at the store you think you see him but you know its not him, you will go and look just to make sure. Like the other posts, enjoy that feeling of just being with him. Oh yea, welcome to GS!!

[DawnArmy]

About him being perfect, no he is not. It's that you are blinded by love. He certainly has lots of flaws, but you just love all his flaws.

There's nothing you can do here to prevent something similar happens in the future, so just live with it. A little pain won't kill you anyway.

Talking about straight crush, I am actually in this exact same situation like yours currently. My previous two one sided loves make me stronger in handling with this kind of situation. Unlike the two previous ones, this guy has great personality. I never tell him I love him, proposed to be his friend. Sadly up till now, we don't hold much conversation, haven't hung around even once. I am thinking... what kind of friendship is this?

[East]

The nice thing about these types of crushes...you get to invent who you think they are and want them to be and ignore who they really are.