the beginnings

[Gideon]

was that one thing all you saw in there? it was part of a bigger picture.

you'd have to have some neural wiring gone bad not to see it as disturbing. did i ask about whether he was right or wrong though?

this thread is not about whether my mom's friend was right or wrong or moral. i remember wanting to share my process on how i discovered my sexuality and asking others their experiences and how they came to terms with it, if they had to. if they want to share it. i'd appreciate it if you respected that and didn't steer it off topic.

Honestly? Yeah, it was pretty much the only thing I took away from it.

From the perspective of someone who was molested as a kid, not just once but repetitively? It's pretty much what stands out and throws up a huge red flag.

Sorry that I offended you, man, but I gave you an -honest- reaction. Even if it wasn't what you were asking for.

[meridannight]

Honestly? Yeah, it was pretty much the only thing I took away from it.

From the perspective of someone who was molested as a kid, not just once but repetitively? It's pretty much what stands out and throws up a huge red flag.

Sorry that I offended you, man, but I gave you an -honest- reaction. Even if it wasn't what you were asking for.

that's your experience. it wasn't mine. don't confuse your life with my own.

you didn't offend me. i know my life better than you do.

please leave it out of this thread.

[Cuddly]

Oh my... Interesting stories. What I find the most interesting is how different they are.

I'll share my long story later..

[Rob]

a six year old pervert.... all I can think about is creepy old men reading that and getting excited. hahahahhahahaha!

We pervs were born that way

[TwisttheLeaf]

that's your experience. it wasn't mine. don't confuse your life with my own.

you didn't offend me. i know my life better than you do.

please leave it out of this thread.

You were asking for first experiences, the beginnings of ones travels, were you not?

Not all such experiences are positive. Gideon's happens to be negative.

I'm not sure I feel okay with someone saying (in summary) "your experience doesn't belong here, fuck off" in a thread ASKING for experiences and reactions.

I understand you may not like his reaction, but it was honest. I don't see how it -doesn't- belong here with the experiences and reactions of everyone else, regardless of the fact his was a negative one.

Please remember to be -kind- to others, even those you might not agree with.

As for my beginnings?

I knew from as long back as I can remember I was attracted to men. So did my father. My entire life I was berated for these preferences, and qualities, that made it clear I was not going to grow up to be a "seed sower" in our family.

My first time with a man (oral), I was fourteen and it was in an alley behind a grocery store.... he was somewhere in his 20's, which is something I didn't see wrong when I was at that age, but now look back on and skeeve at the pedophilia aspects involved from the vantage point of a 26 year old. (Especially since at 14 I didn't yet look 14.) It was entirely consensual. My first time -kissing- a man was a few months later, and closer to my own age.

My first time with a woman was a couple years later. I didn't start being attracted to women until girls my own age grew boobs and started filling in around the hips.

[MikeW]

Oh, my, if I started telling my stories this thread would turn into a youth erotic novel. Hmmm…. I'll think about this. I may share a few but not right now.

[Virge]

sounds like you had cool parents and brother. sounds like they let you have your freedom when growing up.

i had that. i was given a lot of freedom when i was a kid and i was let to figure things out on my own too. nobody pushed anything on me. i'm entirely grateful to my mom for raising me that way.

Yeah Meridian --- they were and still are way off the charts when it comes to being just great people. They get all the blame for me turning out the way I am.

[meridannight]

You were asking for first experiences, the beginnings of ones travels, were you not?

Not all such experiences are positive. Gideon's happens to be negative.

please point me to the post where Gideon describes his experience of discovering his sexuality. he only posted his judgment on one experience in my life. how is that describing his own beginnings?

he hasn't in fact said anything about his discovery of his sexuality. he's only mentioned he was molested, but i didn't assume from that fact that that influenced his sexuality.

Gideon has posted altogether two posts in here. none speak anything about the discovery of his sexuality and/or coming to terms with it.

I'm not sure I feel okay with someone saying (in summary) "your experience doesn't belong here, fuck off" in a thread ASKING for experiences and reactions.

what the hell are you talking about?

i told him nicely not to derail the thread with continuing focusing on one experience in MY post. and misreading it in the process. i told him to let that incident in my life go. i didn't tell him his experience doesn't belong here.

please point me to my post where i told him to fuck off and that his experiences don't belong here. i will report myself on that if i did that.

i get it you are standing up for your boyfriend but you are imagining things.

I understand you may not like his reaction, but it was honest. I don't see how it -doesn't- belong here with the experiences and reactions of everyone else, regardless of the fact his was a negative one.

what negative reaction exactly? all he did was read that a guy touched me when i was a kid (which i started by the way). then he chimed in that what my mom's friend did was wrong.

big news -- i already know the moral implication of his actions. i wasn't asking whether my mom's friend acted right or wrong. i wasn't asking him to continue to assert that and i see that as throwing this thread on a completely different track that belongs in another thread. my experience was not about molestation. that's the only thing i was trying to make him see. if Gideon's was he is welcome to actually post about his experience not hint at it in passing. i'd be happy to read about it. so far, he hasn't said anything about his experiences.

Please remember to be -kind- to others, even those you might not agree with.

show me a post where i was not kind. i responded nicely to him from the start. if he read more to it than what was there then that's not my doing.

i've stated my responses pretty clearly and i was nice. you haven't seen me not be nice yet.

stop throwing around that you've offended me or reacted negatively to something i've said. i haven't seen any offense or negative reactions directed my way. i've only seen going on about one single thing in a loop, and probably seeing it all wrong because your own experiences color it something different.

[Chris]

For me I realized that I prefer boys probably because I didn't like the traditional model of straight people's relationship where man takes the whole responsibility for his woman. I didn't feel like protecting or supporting another girl and that's when my mental fascination towards men started and then it developed into physical attraction. I know there are probably more equal straight couples but it was already too late when I realized it

[Beaux]

Well, my parent WERE NOT open and accepting of me at a young age. I, too, have very early memories of my childhood, though they are not what I would refer to as positive.
I can remember my father looking at me like I was some kind of monster after finding me playing dress-up in my mothers shoes when I was around 5. He would look at me that way for the rest of the time I lived with them. My mother loved me very much, but from a very early age she would would constantly tell me that I needed to ack more masculine and speak with a deeper voice.
I never hearts the words "gay" or "homosexual" until I was in my teens and then I heard them daily, directed at me at school.
I HAD heard the term "pervert" a LOT growing up. I knew that a pervert was someone who preyed on and molested children. I even knew a pervert. My uncle, Johnny, molested me from 6-7 years old before he ran away to live in New Orleans when he was 17. The reason he left, was that I had told my mother what he was doing to me. She hid it from my father and made me swear to never repeat what I had told her to any of our family. It took me many, many years of thearpy to forgive her for that.
Funny thing is, it wasn't until Johnny left that I ever heard anyone refer to him as "Gay". It was then that I made the mental connection between what I had heard about "Peverts" and "Gays" being referenced as being one and the same. I became terrified that I too would become a child molester. More years of thearpy....
Oh, and to the OP: yes, your story about an adult male fondling the genitials of a toddler WAS a major trigger for me. Just reading that one line took me all that way back, past all the thearpy, to my grandmothers bathroom with my uncle on top of me. Just so you know.
~Beaux