My boyfriend and I talked in the past about our sexual fantasies, and something that came up was being tied to a bed (S&M stuff) and it was really exhilarating talking about it and he could tell I liked it. So a few nights ago he told me that he has a surprise for when I come visit him at school this weekend. He said that it was something I've wanted to try and that I will really like it. I'm pretty sure he has some bondage stuff planned and I'm super excited but scared at the same time. Anyone have any advice for what I should expect?? Sidenote: we've been dating for a while and trust each other 100%, so I'm not concerned that he'll hurt me, but I want the experience to be fun and pleasurable.
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Bondage by itself has nothing to do with S&M -- unless you want it to. It's different for everyone. It's all about the trust. By being tied or cuffed you are trusting your partner with all of your body and pleasure and it can get WILD.
My man does it to me to keep me from overpowering him when I get worked up. He blindfolds me and really spends a lot of time driving me crazy with foreplay from head to toes... (ooooh yes! the toes!) He puts the headphones on me with music he puts together and there's nothing I can do but enjoy and go crazy because I can't get my hands on him.
One thing he does that's a big turn on is he won't let me have a glass to drink from. All I have to do is lick my lips like they are dry and he kisses to give me a mouthful of wine. He doesn't tickle me but he does lick and play with all my ticklish spots like my sides and insides of my thighs. I don't beg anymore for anything. hahahha! I just squirm and try to keep from losing my breath.
Then sooner or later he has to let me lose. hahhaha! When that happens it's GAME ON!
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Oh I wouldn't at all be opposed to tickling haha, I was more referring to the feeling of helplessness and having someone 100% in charge. It seem so erotic to me but at the same time having no control is obviously kind of scary!! I appreciate the responses from both of you so I guess I just have to wait and find out when it happens XD
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As mems mentioned, S&M and bondage are two separate things.... although they can be done together.
That said, I would suggest a safe word. Something you wouldn't normally just yell out, that you can use to indicate it's time to stop.
For example, in the middle of a heated scene, you might tell someone to stop a number of times, but be disappointed when they do because you didn't really mean it. But if you use a safe word like "red" and you shout RED, there's a whole different type of putting on the brakes involved. Becuse the safeword means there's actually really an ISSUE. A problem.
This is important in S&M and you hear it mentioned often. BUT, it's also important with bondage, because there is a power play involved that leaves you in a position of helplessness.
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I agree with Twist, a safeword is really important with this type of thing. I don't know where you fall on the "submissive scale" but some people are not -able- to stop their partner. I'm not talking about physically but just the idea of disappointing is too much for them to handle and so they will take more than their limits allow, they simply lack the ability to know when it's too much.
Talk about limits first, if there are any. Tell him what is absolutely beyond the line, what is negotiable and establish that safeword. The use of the safeword means that play -stops- without recriminations or consequences and in an ideal situation, the factor that pushed you to the point of calling a stop is discussed or at least recognized and acknowledged.
Also, again not knowing where you fit on the submissive scale and how deep this might go...aftercare is a -wonderful- and very important aspect of BSDM. Especially if it is intense. Just the time spent afterward being tender and made to feel important is HUGELY important.
Good luck and have fun.
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hhahahahhahahaha!
NOW I find out about SAFE WORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you realize how many times that would have saved me from having hickies from one elbow to the other, up my neck and all the way down to the good stuff????????
On second thought...screw safe words!
Hahahhahahahha!
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*Snickers*
I'm always nice, man. Always
*Wide ass grin*
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