First time bondage

[Virge]

*Chuckles* Safe words do not apply to the smartasses with fingers up their nose, man.

Oh Yeah????


Phfffffffffffffffffffffft!
Take that Gideon, you, you you,

Hey Gigdeon (rhymes with name of a dumb bird)
I just noticed something interesting.
This makes the 10th comment on this thread by only FIVE people......
There's been 167 views
minus the 10 comments = 157 freaks who aint got the nerves to talk about their kinky stuff even though they could do it anonymously.

I compared it to a similar question in a straight forum I'm in.
58 comments by 32 people.
120 views.

Does this mean straight people are doing more kinky shit that gays?
Who'd have thought that?????

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Actually its going to be difficult to tell you what to expect. Different couples do different things, have different limits and different approaches to BDSM.

The correct approach to the BDSM scene is full disclosure with ones partner.

One of the instruments used in BDSM contracts (yes even between married folk they have a contract) is to complete a checklist.

There are many places to get one: https://www.google.com/?gws_rd=ssl#q=BDSM+checklist

I would suggest one that has many options instead of just 'yes/no'.

This one: http://www.cepemo.com/checklist.html

Has various replies you can give:

/Not ApplicableActions that are physical impossibilities. Draw a slash through the box for these. ?CuriousMaybe you're never tried this, or only once, and want to experience more before deciding how much you like it.
!EssentialThis is something that you can't see yourself enjoying a scene/date/relationship without. 5LoveYou love doing whatever it is.
4LikeYou like doing whatever it is.
3Don't MindYou can take this or leave it, but will probably do it for your partner.
2DislikeYou dislike this but will put up with it for your partner.
1HateYou hate this but will put up with it for your partner.
×Soft LimitSomething you cannot attempt at this time but might be possible in the future.
XHard LimitSomething you will not ever attempt.

Since you are new to it, I suspect that many of them will be unknowns for you. Mind when first entering BDSM no one should expect you to be willing to try everything. Its not until you explore and build up trust with your partner than trying new things should be considered.

I strongly suggest a safeword be used, even if this is just tying you down with a few ropes to a bed.

I also strongly suggest you discuss medical limitations, for instance if you have epilepsy you partner has to know this. Having a seizure whilst tied down is not a good thing. Heart conditions, asthma, allergies, all sort of things that may not be a major problem in day to day life can become a problem if you partner is not aware of what medical signs to look out for to untie you if any medical issue arises.

You also need to discuss marks and things you cannot tolerate. For instance if you don't want hickies all over your neck because you know your job would frown on that, your partner has to know this.

If he is planning light torture you need to know what he is going to include, hot candle wax? Ice cubes? Feathers? If you are allergic to feathers, that may present a problem, slightly phobic of fire, that needs to be discussed.

BDSM is full disclosure. Yes even simple roll playing requires full disclosure - some guys just can't stand being called 'my bitch' or something - this has to be known and respected, and both parties have to not only agree to the ground rules they come up with but also keep to those rules.

[Gideon]

Oh Yeah????


Phfffffffffffffffffffffft!
Take that Gideon, you, you you,

Hey Gigdeon (rhymes with name of a dumb bird)
I just noticed something interesting.
This makes the 10th comment on this thread by only FIVE people......
There's been 167 views
minus the 10 comments = 157 freaks who aint got the nerves to talk about their kinky stuff even though they could do it anonymously.

I compared it to a similar question in a straight forum I'm in.
58 comments by 32 people.
120 views.

Does this mean straight people are doing more kinky shit that gays?
Who'd have thought that?????

Oh no...we have to remedy this IMMEDIATELY!!

Everyone hurry and get KINKY GIDDAMMIT

[TwisttheLeaf]

Oh no...we have to remedy this IMMEDIATELY!!

Everyone hurry and get KINKY GIDDAMMIT

As if you need any extra encouragement.

[Gideon]

As if you need any extra encouragement.

Are you calling me kinky, man?

[TwisttheLeaf]

Titan --

Also important, as Gideon mentioned, is the aftercare that comes with these activities. I am pretty damned high maintenance in this area and can tell you.... sometimes when you don't get enough aftercare, it can really fuck with your head and emotions. It can make you feel extremely vulnerable for -days- afterward, emotional and self conscious about both yourself but also concerning your relationship and if it's at risk or in jeopardy in some way.

You won't know how much after care you need until you start experimenting, but make sure your partner is up for whatever is needed. For me, I usually -need- Gid's full attention (or damned near to it) the day after (or if there's a 24 hour delay, I might not need him until the day after that). Even if he's just there and his focus is on me, it helps. No interruptions. No distractions. Just me and him. During this time he pushes me to express what I'm feeling, what my worries and guilt may be. I become a chronic "I'm sorry"-er as I say it over and over without the ability to figure out -what- the hell I'm actually apologizing for... it's just some overwhelming need to say it.

Gideon creates this state. It's his responsibility to help me through it. If you experience this as well (it's called sub drop), it's your partner's responsibility to help YOU through it also. Make sure BEFORE you start, it might be a possibility.

[TwisttheLeaf]

Are you calling me kinky, man?

No. I'm calling you a pervert.

[Gideon]

No. I'm calling you a pervert.

I'm YOUR perv, babyboy

All for you

[Virge]

You two need to head to the sound proof room in the basement.....

[CellarDweller]

Expect to be tickled!!!

He doesn't tickle me but he does lick and play with all my ticklish spots like my sides and insides of my thighs.

Oh I wouldn't at all be opposed to tickling haha

I just think it's funny this kept getting mentioned. Am I rubbing off on you all, so to speak?