LJay Wrote:...how to be an effective post whore?
I feel like I will never see my name in colors and that an emotional crisis may ensue if I do not. I am fairly certain that my insurance will not cover behavioral counseling if the crisis does occur.
Any advice is welcome as long as it does not exile me to another site.
The first step is to understand this: you're not alone.
Colorless Username Melancholic Syndrome (or CUM Syndrome) is a common condition plaguing many of those not fortunate enough to have a username adorned with random colors attached to their posts. This condition can have a significant impact on the quality of life of those afflicted, superseding even real life problems. Never fear, however: CUM Syndrome can be treated with a few simple methods:
1. Spam word games, especially ones that require minimal thought and are updated frequently such as "last person to post wins" or "count to 1000." These threads will last until the GS server explodes in a fiery cataclysm.
2. Congratulate people who achieve their own rainbows in their accolade threads. The good karma accrued from this will draw what you desire most (rainbow name, of course) to you, because that's how the Universe works. Also wish people happy birthday in their birthday threads, because birthdays will never stop happening. There are, like, hundreds of birthdays a year. I mean
a lot.
3. More generally, just remember quantity over quality. Worry not if your skyrocketing post count is built on hundreds or thousands of half-formed thoughts and squirts of keyboard diarrhea. You need a Rainbow Name.