Has the paradigm changed for gay bars?

[Virge]

I don't get chances to go to many except when traveling but always enjoy them when I do.

Now that I'm about to be traveling again, and also planning out possible places to go when Jay gets here in December ---- I've been doing some searches on the internet for new places and checking on some that he and I have been to in the past 3-4 years here in the US.

A bartender in Pensacola Florida I've been emailing with told me they've shrunk from five down to two in the past three years. He says that all the social media and hook up sites have made it easy for people who used to go to bars to stay at home and get their rocks off using fake profiles and essentially living fantasy lives, never meeting anyone in person.

Has anyone else noticed how many of them are suddenly closing? It's like they are just fading out of existence! Some that have been in business for decades have either closed or turned into straight bars!

Also doing searches through the internet always shows bars whether they are closed or not and list straight bars as well.

I;m heading to St Louis in a couple of weeks and need some UPDATED info on the situation there. My favorite bars in places like Nashville, Chattanooga, Oklahoma City, and Memphis are GONE.

So... I'd like to hear what everyone has to say.....

EDIT. ....
I just had a funny thought to add to this....
Gay bars seem to be self deleting than Adam and Will....
[SIZE="6"][COLOR="Red"]I deserve to be slapped for that!!!!
Hahahahhaahhaha![/COLOR][/SIZE]

[Iceblink]

Back in my younger days of bar and club life in the 80's and 90's, you could travel to any large city in this country on any day of the week and find a crowded bar and if it was the weekend, several that were packed and happening. During the week you can still do that in the very largest cities, but even there clubhopping from club to club is nothing like it was back in the day. Gay after hours, which was huge in the 90's, is difficult to find today. Times have changed. Of course the internet is part of it, but it is also a different world today. During the summer I live in suburban Detroit and within walking distance of my home is a lounge-type gay bar that consistently fills up with people more than any gay nightclub in the Detroit area. There is also a gay coffee shop in the area that transformed itself from being mostly just a gay bookstore, another kind of business suffering because of the internet. The coffee shop, that sells no alcohol, has drag queen shows on the weekend nights and is so busy you have to make reservations to get in. Although clubs can pack a lot of people in, lounges and coffee shops lend themselves to being more social. I'm glad there are more opportunities for gay people to meet others today, I just wish it wasn't the web replacing clubs because it is hard to believe that something came along that seems to have a poorer success rate in people going on a date and getting in a relationship than gay clubs had, but that is exactly what seems to be happening. I hear so many horror stories from single friends and online forums of being stood up and guys that just cut off communication with no explanation. I think the web is the means of communication that often makes it too easy to chicken out and not overcome the anxiety that comes with dating and meeting in real life.

[Virge]

I hear so many horror stories from single friends and online forums of being stood up and guys that just cut off communication with no explanation. I think the web is the means of communication that often makes it too easy to chicken out and not overcome the anxiety that comes with dating and meeting in real life.

I agreed with all you said but specially the part above.

I have a gay friend here who's in his early 70s and was all up in gay life in Florida in the 1970s. The things he tells me about how things were back then for gays having bars and being organized are completely hard for me to believe. But I've heard it from other who are older than me so I know it has to be true.

It's not that way in Brisbane at all! But that's another story. I'm worried about the bars in the US cuz after December Jay and I are planning on traveling as much as possible and going to straight parts won't cut it!

Dang Icepick. I should have been born back then so I could have done all the partying you guys did.

Doing some searching I found out that the biggest organizer of gay events in the US has quit! I'm trying to find an email address for him so I can find out more!

[Lycanthropist]

When in St. Louis, go to The Grove. It's not a bar, but a section of town not far from the interstate near Busch Stadium. The only bar I've been to there is Rehab.

[Virge]

When in St. Louis, go to The Grove. It's not a bar, but a section of town not far from the interstate near Busch Stadium. The only bar I've been to there is Rehab.

Thanks Lycanthropist.

I sent a quick email to Rehab and asked for advice on a few nearby hotels. I know EXACTLY where they are cuz I'll drive right past them to get to where I need to go! I've seen it's windows but never the name and assumed it was a straight bar that close to the ball park. Going to see if I can contact the Grove now.

Have you been diagnosed as a clinical lycanthropist? If so I bet that's wild. hahahhaha!

Holy Cow! I know the Grove Too! It's not a gay bar tho. I did business with the furniture store and clothing store there for awhile. They didn't do well with it. I found another store there that's one of my biggest customers now.

[meridannight]

A bartender in Pensacola Florida I've been emailing with told me they've shrunk from five down to two in the past three years. He says that all the social media and hook up sites have made it easy for people who used to go to bars to stay at home and get their rocks off using fake profiles and essentially living fantasy lives, never meeting anyone in person.

Has anyone else noticed how many of them are suddenly closing? It's like they are just fading out of existence! Some that have been in business for decades have either closed or turned into straight bars!

in my area there haven't been any closings past few years. things have been pretty much the same. i do know that one bar gets complaints from one local establishment near them that hasn't even made it a secret that it's because it's a gay bar and that their aim is to get it shut down. so their problems have more to do with outright bigotry.

as for hooking up on the internet and stuff, i very much prefer in person interaction. you can get a much clearer picture about a guy from when you see him in person than from a thousand pictures he could send you or anything he tells you through written communication. i have hooked up with guys over the net and i have met decent my-type of guys like that, but the majority have been guys i wouldn't have gotten together with had the first communication taken place in person. it's a gamble.

i know i will never prefer social media for real physical interaction with people. and i will never understand why some people do, and i actually think this shift is troubling. people should be talking to each other in person, not through an invisible interaction.

[Virge]

I'm thinking the number of bars closing in the US is strictly a US thing, Meridan. Four years ago when I moved to this tiny town of 1500 there was a tiny gay bar here that had been in business for many years. It closed 2 days after I moved in. It was the ONLY gay bar in over 200 miles, maybe 300! It's not happening in Australia. I've already heard from friends who are in Europe they don't see any changes. There are MANY bars here now who 'advertise' on the internet to draw gay clientele but they are not "gay bars" where gays can cut loose and have fun without being started at for acting too gay.

As for social media as a means hooking up and dating... I had such bad experiences trying to fit in as "me" on them and not get constantly bombed by guys wanting to hook up or do cam sex that I QUIT it all and deleted my profiles. Contrast that with GS, I've been a member here for FOUR months and only ONE guy (a one-day only newbie) tried to hit on me about sex. That's why I'm here to stay.

I just want to be able to go to gay bars, dance, socialize, make friends and have fun. That's it. I'm like you about preferring meeting & socializing in peson instead of on the internet... but here.... there's almost no gay people for me to socialize with. My closest gay neighbors are four miles away, lesbians in the 50s --- who don't have internet or cellphones. My favorite gay friend is a 90 minute drive, 79 miles by roads away but I can see his house from my front windows! hahaha!

All you guys in GS are more a part of my life than all the rest of the gays I know within 350 miles.

[cunningluvr]

I travel a lot too, and always look up the nightlife, since the boondocks town I live in has none. Cities that have a gay neighborhood still seem to support gay bars, even if the enclave is a small one. They might be in the neighborhood, or sprinkled about, but there are enough customers to keep the bars in business. The '80s/'90s nightclub atmosphere, dancing in a jockstrap and giving BJs under the table, straight folks trying to get in because the DJs were better, I haven't seen that in a long time, unless it's a retro theme night (minus the semi-public sex). I've completely forgotten the colors of the hanky code. Might still exist in Manhattan, but haven't had the chance to dig that deep into the scene there. But there are bars in some surprising little places. These days I like the neighborhood dives, talk to the locals, sometimes even make a deeper connection!

[Virge]

Well cunningluvr gimme some names of cities and the bars you would reccommend!

[Kenny221]

I'm turning 19 next February and this makes me sad ( legal drinking age is 19 here)