can gays and lesbians that come out later in life make being gay look like a choice ?

[Melody]

Well since the coming out of that orange is the new black writer people are saying she's making gay look like a choice . So do you guys think gays and lesbians that come out later in life make being gay look like a choice .

[Iceblink]

I am hoping there is a day, and I doubt it will be in my lifetime when a person can just go out with the gender they want without it being a discussion about orientation. If she had started dating another guy, the tabloids and gossip shows would have just said "Lauren Morelli is dating (fill in man's name)." Since she is dating a woman, the headlines are not "Lauren Morelli is dating (fill in woman's name)," it is "Lauren Morelli having lesbian affair with (fill in woman's name)." Someday hopefully it won't matter and whatever gender a celebrity is dating will be reported the same way.

[Steve]

I am hoping there is a day, and I doubt it will be in my lifetime when a person can just go out with the gender they want without it being a discussion like orientation. If she had started dating another guy, the tabloids and gossip shows would have just said "Lauren Morelli is dating (fill in man's name)." Since she is dating a woman, the headlines are not "Lauren Morelli is dating (fill in woman's name)," it is "Lauren Morelli having lesbian affair with (fill in woman's name)." Someday hopefully it won't matter and whatever gender a celebrity is dating will be reported the same way.

Oh Iceblink, you just said a cotton pickin' mouth full! Yeah, its true that when we were young probably both of us never thought we'd live to see gay marriage become possible in our lives. As incredible as this fight has been to witness, I also strongly doubt I'll ever see the era when all these stupid sexual labels get thrown out the window and it no longer matters the sex of who sleeps with who. In context, we just elected a black President and the explosive backlash in terms of the open racism of Latinos and African Americans throughout the country (one example: Django Actress Handcuffed) proves to me that on social issues people (at least in the US) evolve at snail's pace. If, after all these decades racism still abounds, its going to take a helluva lot longer for people to quit caring about sexual labels. For the record, racism has always been a part of American life; the election of Obama only spurred it squarely into the limelight.

Now,on topic, I've said it before and I'll say it again: People are going to think whatever they want about you, me, or anyone, no matter what we say, no matter what we do. I'm not sure gay people will ever convince the heterosexual world that being gay isn't a choice, no matter what age people declare their sexuality (like it should even be an issue!). Hell, even as I write this I'm not sure if, for some people, it is a matter of choice. I never had a choice about being gay, that much I know is true. Maybe others in the world were somehow able to choose whether to be gay or straight, but it sure as hell wasn't me.

As for me I've finally come to a place in life where I can't be bothered to worry about what other people think of me. What other people think is their problem. That's why I'm dead honest and as clear as I can be when I communicate. That policy may come back and bite me on the ass someday, but at least I know I'll have hidden nothing.
.
.

[EvenOlderButWiser]

The only choice those older (like myself) had, was to come out or keep our sexuality firmly locked in the back of the closet.

Some of us choose the latter because of the circumstances of the day.

Your sexuality is not a choice, however only you can choose what you want to do with it.

[Steve]

-quote attributed to OlderBut Wiser
The only choice those older (like myself) had, was to come out or keep our sexuality firmly locked in the back of the closet.
Some of us choose the latter because of the circumstances of the day.
Your sexuality is not a choice, however only you can choose what you want to do with it.

That's always been my point of view too. Lately I've decided that as deeply as I feel about my conviction that there isn't/wasn't/ain't never gonna be a choice involved about being gay, I can't speak for anyone but myself. This is a weirdly changing brave new world and I have to allow that maybe it is possible for someone to choose.

I never had a choice either. Even staying in the closet wasn't a choice for me... I was too easy to spot as gay.

[Bluelight]

Of course they can. Anyone can come out at any age, the youngest I heard of was 12, the oldest, probably around 70, and I wouldn't be surprised if there are LGBT people coming out even later than that.

[Melody]

Oh Iceblink, you just said a cotton pickin' mouth full! Yeah, its true that when we were young probably both of us never thought we'd live to see gay marriage become possible in our lives. As incredible as this fight has been to witness, I also strongly doubt I'll ever see the era when all these stupid sexual labels get thrown out the window and it no longer matters the sex of who sleeps with who. In context, we just elected a black President and the explosive backlash in terms of the open racism of Latinos and African Americans throughout the country (one example: Django Actress Handcuffed) proves to me that on social issues people (at least in the US) evolve at snail's pace. If, after all these decades racism still abounds, its going to take a helluva lot longer for people to quit caring about sexual labels. For the record, racism has always been a part of American life; the election of Obama only spurred it squarely into the limelight.

Now,on topic, I've said it before and I'll say it again: People are going to think whatever they want about you, me, or anyone, no matter what we say, no matter what we do. I'm not sure gay people will ever convince the heterosexual world that being gay isn't a choice, no matter what age people declare their sexuality (like it should even be an issue!). Hell, even as I write this I'm not sure if, for some people, it is a matter of choice. I never had a choice about being gay, that much I know is true. Maybe others in the world were somehow able to choose whether to be gay or straight, but it sure as hell wasn't me.

As for me I've finally come to a place in life where I can't be bothered to worry about what other people think of me. What other people think is their problem. That's why I'm dead honest and as clear as I can be when I communicate. That policy may come back and bite me on the ass someday, but at least I know I'll have hidden nothing.
.
.

Even if the world becomes more accepting of all sexual orientations , I think labels will matter more ,but only in terms of dating let's not forget not everyone is bisexual . I don't think labels are the problem which people often blame , it's society that's stuck in this everyone is heterosexual type of thinking . Labels made it known there are more, sexual orientation than just straight . So I find it weird that people blame labels when it brought us out into the open and by us I mean the lgbt community .
If it weren't for labels no one would know a what a gay man was a lesbian is or a bisexual person is . So I don't get the whole label blaming thing .
Maybe it's just some popular thing the lgbt kids are doing today . By the way I think most of what you said is great I just disagree with the whole get rid of all labels things .

[Wolfpack]

It will be nice if in the future they will be no need to ' come out ' and we are just excepted for who we are.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Yes it often is interpreted as a person 'turning gay' by outsiders.

Few people 'get' that when a person comes out at any time of their life, that the only choice they made is to be who they are instead of hiding who they are.

Its not the late bloomers fault, its just the lack of education of the public on what sexuality is, the struggle of being gay and being in a closet and the motivations, fears that cause many LGBT to stay in the closet, even try do live straight in order to conform to a society that has such low tolerance of LGBT.

[Wardo94]

Well since the coming out of that orange is the new black writer people are saying she's making gay look like a choice . So do you guys think gays and lesbians that come out later in life make being gay look like a choice .

To the ignorant and misinformed it does. What many don't know and some won't admit is that sexuality is very fluid. Extremely fluid. But everybody wants to put a label on everything, and control every aspect of life, and if it doesn't fit the criteria that they've grown up with or that society has beaten into their sheep-minded brains, they won't take it. You hear about married men who find out they're gay, or finally come to terms with their sexuality after many years of suppression. It's not a choice. It's just a pschycogical thing, and the mind can be very deceiving, if fed the wrong information.