Must resist going back to online dating..... for now

[Radbot42]

Just got out of a relationship. It was a mutual breakup. And I don't think I should jump into online dating so soon, but I really want to.

I'm 25, still living with my parents, (have a degree) and am interning for no pay. I also feel like I am dependent on other people. I think I need to be on my own before I try dating again, but I already know I am missing all the perks of being in a relationships. I'm not even talking about the sex either. Cuddling, kissing, good conversation.

Probably my biggest goal in life is to have a husband that I'm madly in love with and to start a family with. I just know I should be more together before doing so. It's just so hard to resist the urge to go online to try and find someone to fall for.

I know what I need to do, it is just hard for me to get there. I always get down on myself and have a hard time motivating myself to look for jobs and whatnot. heck I'm typing this up instead of working on my internship.

Note: My ex and I dated for 7 months weren't in love and we noticed it just wasn't made to be.

[Yume]

Huh... I have to say that a real life relationship is indeed better, you have to just find someone with your interests, and goals because not everyone that's gay wants well to adopt kids, and of course personality match, whoever you feel like you can talk with.... As far as your job goes, please keep looking >,< *hugs* and I would again suggest any gay-friendly places ^^ if you must however, you can use the internet, but be careful, but it's really your choice it's not bad or good either way. Just keep your head up and keep looking ^^

[Radbot42]

I don't want an online only relationship....... I also don't know anywhere to meet anyone in person. All the guys I've dated I met from OKCupid

[Yume]

Now that's a problem >,< Okay, you can search via internet for gay meeting spots in your area, I've been pretty depressed about not having many dates... for a while >,< but you can search via internet or friends of yours maybe?

[Radbot42]

My friends don't really know anyone. I'm perfectly fine with meeting people from the internet. I just need to step back from dating is what I meant. I want to date, and I want to fall in love. I just think I need to do things with my life before I should do anything serious again.

[Yume]

Ah... That's much more clear ^^ Then, do something with yourself again :3 you should maybe get a paying job first though, then get started, and it seems like you're looking for some fulfillment....

[Radbot42]

That's exactly what I'm looking for. I just want to be on my own, but I'm stuck with my parents which can get me down, which barrels into not having motivation to move on with my life. It's also not helping that this internship is such a time suck, over the internet so I stay at home, and so repetitive. I want to do more!

[Bowyn Aerrow]

What are these perks you speak of?

Are they really worth all this time and effort to try to force love?

Or, are they only worth it when you wait for love to happen in its own time?

I say take a break from the dating scene, and just go live your life. Which apparently is a busy one.

Trust me, when love is going to happen it will happen... Sort of like when trains jump the track and huge disasters unfold from there.... similar consequences usually too... Hmm

[Radbot42]

I don't want to force love, If I were forcing myself to fall in love with someone I wouldn't have ended it so easily with my ex. The perks were the things I listed after sex. And yeah I know how love can go all crazy. I fell in love with my first boyfriend,and I was crazily depressed when it ended out of the blue. Just like that train metaphor.

And as I said I do need to spend time for myself and get on my own to become independent. It's just breaking that desire to want someone. I know I can do it, I just need the willpower. I like getting the attention when having a boyfriend and that feeling of importance. Something I don't get very often.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

I think you need to sit down and right your perceptions of what the perks to relationships are.

I think you do this fearless inventory you may reveal a bit about what you are and may see why you are so, um... keen on dating and hunting the next ex.



For instance: I like getting the attention when having a boyfriend and that feeling of importance.

Is this reflective of self esteem issues? Can you not find importance of/for yourself in yourself?

These are questions you ask yourself....

Thus look at your list and ask yourself these sorts of tougher questions...