Forging the guy who cheated on me!

[Jason74]

A few years back I forgave the guy who cheated on me and we remain friends to this day. I did some soul searching for many years and realized that perhaps I did things to push him away and to cheat on me. I am not trying to justify what he did but I really cannot hate him since in all honesty he was one guy in the 6 years that I actively dated guys that I really enjoyed being with sexually, physically and emotinally.

Back then I was a very angry and depressed guy, I hated my life and I hated where I was at in my life. I had road rage anytime I would drive anywhere and it was hard for me to be happy and I am not sure why that was the way it was and perhaps my boyfriend at the time thought it was hime that I was angry at. I think that we just drifted away and we were both immature and just not ready to be with anyone.

I just chatted with him on facebook the other day and we talked some stuff out and he has been in a relationship for the last ten years and i told him that I was very happy for him which I really am. I told him about my brief relationship with a female and he was happy for me and then I told him that we broke up and he understood. He is a really nice guy and we have talked about if I am back in the area that we would get together and just hang out or etc.

He just happens to be in an open relationship so perhaps some passions will fly between us but it won't be any pressure for that to happen from either of us. I often think about how much I would like to be in a relationship with a guy again but then think about how much I enjoy being on my own and doing my own thing. I enjoy skiing on my own and hiking on my own but then often think how nice it would be to cuddle with another guy in my one man sleeping bag and just holding each other close.

Well anyway all is forgiven and I have no bad feelings for him.

[LJay]

Concerning your title:

Do you mean forging, which would imply putting him in an oven or whatever, or do you mean 'forgiving?'

[Cuddly]

Good to hear that you're feeling better.

[BlueStar]

Glad to know you can stay friends with him without problem. I hope you'll find a person who truly deserves your love, someone to be with you everywhere, or in your heart constantly thinking and caring about you. I have little to say... just be patient!

[LONDONER]

Concerning your title:

Do you mean forging, which would imply putting him in an oven or whatever, or do you mean 'forgiving?'

Or even "forgetting".

[Jake]

I'd say forgiving because one can forgive but never forget

[matty7]

sounds like you hit the 40 year old crisis...ie, reflecting back on your life, then looking at now thinking am I going to always be on my own ?? or looking forward....how do I get a guy I can be with before its too late ?
I hope you and your ex will have a nice time meeting up and discussing past relationship, just remember that his relationship with his partner is 10 years...not trying to put a dampener on things but are you looking for a lot more than just meeting a past bf ?

[Anocxu]

I'd say forgiving because one can forgive but never forget

How about forgiving and forgetting just to avoid a heavy,bitter demeanor?

Now if this gentlenan is asking to resume an intimate relationship. ..

You should proceed with extreme caution.

[Jason74]

I am not trying to rekindle anything with him and we will be just meeting as friends and that is it. I mean I have no plans as of right now even to go back to my hometown anytime soon but we are open to hanging out when I do go back to my hometown and visit. I am not looking to ruin his relationship with his boyfriend or even looking for anything more with him. I know its pretty rare these days for ex's to get together just as friends.

Oh by the way the title is suposed to be forgiving, doesn't seem like there is a way for me to change it.

I don't think I hit any sort of crisis at all and by turning 40 that wasn't even a big deal, just another number and its pretty cool that when I meet people for the first time and somehow my age comes up they think I am not even thirty so that is not an issue and I always look back and think about the past about how I could have changed things or done things differently, just the way that I am.

I am also not looking for a guy before its too late either, if it happens it happens and if doesn't I will still live a happy life without being in a relationship. I don't regret being single for the last 10 years at all, its just the way that I am meant to be until something else comes along that changes the future or outcome of my life.

Well anyway I guess I will see where life takes me.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Unfortunately Forging people is illegal in most parts of the world. Apparently humans tend to rapidly disintegrate under high heat leading to a condition called 'death'. Yeah that happens -who ever would have thought.

Trust me, there have been a few people I wanted nothing more that forge... :biggrin:


As for the rest of your post...

Bad idea. All around bad idea to get involved with him again.

Great you forgave him... But it still not to get involved.

And what you seem to be missing here is the small fact that he is in an open relationship now. Which is kinda sorta like cheating,but with your mate's permission so its not really cheating, you're getting sex on the side - in a more honest manner.

So his behaviors tell me that he is more lined up for random sex outside of a relationship. This is not a new behavior, its an old one - just in your relationship with him there was no permission.

So blaming yourself for the reasons you list does not stack up with his current behaviors which strongly suggested he wanted and open relationship whilst with you. Thus cheated.

It is never a wise Idea to kiss an old flame.

Nope, not even sex on the side with his partner's permission. There is too much history which will muck up the situation.

Friends - sure, be friends - sex buddies - no.