boyfriend moved away

[lll]

Hello! It's my first post and the first time I've ever written on a forum like this. It's kind of cool that so many people are here...

So, my boyfriend recently moved away (like, real far away - 5 hours on a plane the other side of the country). He's gone to study

We were dating for a year. When we first met, I wasn't sure about it but gradually we got closer together. It was kind of a case of opposites attracting - I'm quite quiet and new to the US from Europe. He is a bit younger - 22 to 25 and very outgoing and happy and blonde and always smiling.

Anyway, by the time it got to August we had got very close. For the last few weeks before he moved away, he was staying in my apartment because his rent had finished up.

We knew for a few months that he had to move at the start of the new school year and it made him sad but I was calm and ok about it because I suppose it seemed like a distant event while we were still together. We decided that the best thing to do would be to go our separate ways because a long distance relationship would be almost impossible - my new job would keep me here and he would be busy studying.

Now that he's gone, I miss him so much and still love him, maybe even more. We still text each other at least once a day and send photos from our time together and update each other.

My head is telling me that I should stop talking to him so much, but my heart is telling me lots of stupid things - like I thought about taking a job in his city! It would be possible, because my current contract just came to a close. I'm afraid that if I did that, he wouldn't be as happy as I would be. Maybe it wouldn't be the same as when we were together before.

I always felt that maybe I loved him more and that also he might want to have some more sexual partners (he's a few years younger than me... and not really ready to settle). All the same, I've also had other partners (as many as him) and no-one that I loved as much. He always tells me that he loves me too.

My only options are really to try and get over it and try to forget about the man I really love or to turn my life upside down to try and make it work in a different city. What do you think?

[TwisttheLeaf]

I'm not sure why you would have to turn your life upside down to make it work? Long distance relationships are difficult, yes. BUT, they are definitely possible, and not really that disruptive to your life, to be honest.

I'm speaking from experience, as Gideon and I are on different sides of the U.S. and have been very happy in our long distance relationship for over 6 years now.

I guess what it boils down to is if you feel the guy is worth the effort it takes to sustain a long distance relationship. The work is very communication heavy (lots of communication needed, and lots of honesty and trust).

Good luck and welcome to GS!

[Virge]

Speaking from experience......

Get online and shop around for prices on airfare reservations for 2 months in advance.

Once you have prices divide them by 90 days to determine how much you need to save per day in order to pay for flights for visits every 3 months. Make sure you put that money away strictly for travel.

I did that when to budget to go see the guy in Australia I was and still am crazy about. The problem was I needed to save over $50 a day to afford flying to see him every 3 months. My solution was to take on any sort of work I could find other than my job.

[LJay]

GREAT NEW PICTURE, VIRGE!

You cut a fine figure in a suit.

[LJay]

OP, long distance relationships are really tough to maintain, but possible. You have to put a lot into it and your partner has to work just as hard. It is definitely a two way street. Do your best and be open for whatever comes up. Good luck to both of you.

[meridannight]

you should talk it over with him before making any big decisions. from what i understand you both agreed to go your separate ways.

also, keep in mind that right now you're sort of going through an immediate withdrawal period, so it might look worse than it really is. in a few weeks you might have a different opinion on this whole moving and relationship thing.

ask him what he thinks, if you think you want to pursue it though. he was okay with you two separating, and, for all you know he still is okay with that. my opinion is, also, that if two people absolutely love each other they want to make it work despite the distance or other hardships on their way. you two chose to break up.