Because of the timing of this thread, I think this might have fed off the other thread "Have you notice lately" and I think that thread was more about the problem of jumping all over people for simply asking a question, which we should very seldom do, unless it is a case where it is clear or becomes clear as the thread moves on that we are being trolled.
In giving advice in threads, most of time we want to treat the person gently and with kindness. There are some occasions where this is not always the case. Sometimes people are making decisions that are going to bring them some horrible consequences. We often see these in threads where the person already has in mind what they want to do in in handling their problem and they know it is not the correct thing to do, such as it is a selfish decision or it is going to devastate their partner, friend, or whoever else is involved in the situation they have composed a thread about. They have made the thread, because despite knowing what they want to do is the wrong solution, they are hoping to get some validation and hope someone agrees with them, only to try and make themselves feel better. You see this often on forum sites. It's not a lack of compassion, it is using some direct language and some tough talk to try and persuade them into making the right decision.
There are also the people, and I am sure we all have experienced these people and have some in our lives, that present every little minor inconvenience in life and they present a lot of them, as major problems and catastrophes. For some of these people, the best advice is often not addressing the actual problem they present to you, but giving advice on why they are continually worrying over the small stuff in life. Not to minimize peoples' problems in life, but there are some minor things in life we all have to deal with and if we let all those things cause us too much strife, we would never have a chance of living a somewhat happy, satisfied life, which I think is a goal we all have.
This is also my chance to address this idea of "we should not judge others." I agree with the concept, but it has gotten way out of hand on what that was really suppose to mean. We should not judge others on the things they cannot change about themselves, the color of their skin, their sexual orientation, their ethnicity, their gender, disabilities. Your actions, the decisions you make, your words, these things you can be judged on and we do in society all the time because there is simply no way around it. We have a whole criminal justice system based on judging people on their actions. How can we not judge someone on their performance in the job they were hired to do? How can we not judge someone on the decisions and actions they make that effect their family, their friends, their neighbors, their coworkers? There is no way around it and being gay, or a member of any other minority, does not give you immunity from those same kind of judgments the rest of society must live with. You do not get coddled in these areas of life just because you are gay.
Sure, there are people here that can be unnecessarily rude, but you just ignore those people and move on because most of the people here are good people. There are gay people in the world that can be jerks, but most are not. That is just how you are seeing it because you are concentrating on the negative
So sorry, I didn't lay out the touchy-feely, feel-good, understanding crap here, because let me blunt, you need to look at the irony of "most gay people I met are the most judgmental, unacceptable, pieces of crap that I have ever met," that was followed by a whole lot of judgment.
lauj, don't go. You're a liked and valued member here and people enjoy your input, but I hope you pick out some advice in everything I just said, because it's there.
Aquarius
Life's too short to miss an opportunity to show your love and affection! ![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
Sagittarius
