10-28-2014, 04:38 PM
As many of you know I just recently came out as Transgender and I am sure some of you are wondering when I will be living my life as the opposite sex and that is a good question because it has been going on through my head a lot lately and trying to figure out where my path will lead. Sure I am not always happy being a guy but will I be any happier living full time as a woman?
I mean it takes lots of work for a guy to be a woman with dressing and spending money on female clothes, breast forms (until I take hormones and grow them), make up and shoes and all that. I mean as it is right now it takes me less than 5 minutes to get dressed as a guy but as a woman I think it would take me like twenty minutes or more just to get all nice for going out to even work.
Then I think about the challenges of finding work where I would be accepted for being that way because I am sure that if I am dressed and living as a woman that lots of people that I work with will figure out that I am a guy under those clothes and just think that I am a cross dresser or a drag queen when its so much more than that. I have been on lots of forums lately and I have had a wake up call, even though I am Transgender can I happily live as a woman?
I mean I am 40 years old and by the time I am serious about anything I will be older as well, if I had realized this at 20 perhaps it would have been easier but then I was also in the Army so I couldn't start dressing and acting like a woman while in that.
Then I think about how I would have to have voice training and walking like a woman and I just get so overwhelmed with emotions like WTF! Its so much to register in my life and I just have no clue what to do and perhaps seeing a Gender Therapist is the first step and just going from there and not thinking about it all is the 2nd step. I am just so overwhelmed but I do know for a fact that I am in the wrong body and I know that I am somewhat attractive and yet I still want to be this way.
I mean part of me is like Jason just deal with being a guy for the rest of your life and then another part of me is like you are running away from the real you and you need to be just yourself and if that means being and acting like a woman so be it. I am just so confused and frustrated about it all right now and I am not sure what path to take or where to go from here. I feel like I am at a cross roads in my life and the guy in me is pulling me one way while the woman in me is tugging me the other way.
I look at my life before I had this discovery and think geez I had it so good back then and I didn't have to deal with this. Well anyway just going through lots of emotions right now and I am not even on Hormones yet, just imagine if I was, lol
I mean it takes lots of work for a guy to be a woman with dressing and spending money on female clothes, breast forms (until I take hormones and grow them), make up and shoes and all that. I mean as it is right now it takes me less than 5 minutes to get dressed as a guy but as a woman I think it would take me like twenty minutes or more just to get all nice for going out to even work.
Then I think about the challenges of finding work where I would be accepted for being that way because I am sure that if I am dressed and living as a woman that lots of people that I work with will figure out that I am a guy under those clothes and just think that I am a cross dresser or a drag queen when its so much more than that. I have been on lots of forums lately and I have had a wake up call, even though I am Transgender can I happily live as a woman?
I mean I am 40 years old and by the time I am serious about anything I will be older as well, if I had realized this at 20 perhaps it would have been easier but then I was also in the Army so I couldn't start dressing and acting like a woman while in that.
Then I think about how I would have to have voice training and walking like a woman and I just get so overwhelmed with emotions like WTF! Its so much to register in my life and I just have no clue what to do and perhaps seeing a Gender Therapist is the first step and just going from there and not thinking about it all is the 2nd step. I am just so overwhelmed but I do know for a fact that I am in the wrong body and I know that I am somewhat attractive and yet I still want to be this way.
I mean part of me is like Jason just deal with being a guy for the rest of your life and then another part of me is like you are running away from the real you and you need to be just yourself and if that means being and acting like a woman so be it. I am just so confused and frustrated about it all right now and I am not sure what path to take or where to go from here. I feel like I am at a cross roads in my life and the guy in me is pulling me one way while the woman in me is tugging me the other way.
I look at my life before I had this discovery and think geez I had it so good back then and I didn't have to deal with this. Well anyway just going through lots of emotions right now and I am not even on Hormones yet, just imagine if I was, lol