I hate myself for hoping "hate that i love you"

[axejet]

Im making a fool of myself and its so pathetic that im still hoping that he would love my the way i have fallen for him... Ive got all the advise and reactions that i need to wake up to the reality that is never gonna be an us... But it still hurts me, i wanna move on, the best thing to do is for us to part... But he needs me right now thats what he told me... I need to wait until he gets back on his feet... I hate that i love him... Im trying so hard to give other people a chance but everything all comes back to him... "Person i love or person who likes me" its hard to choose.! Ive asked god to help me fall out of love... Ahhhh.! It makes me so upset that im in love with him and i cant do anything about it... I cant tell my friends because im sure they will judge me because i should have known not to fall in love but i did... Its too late... I love him... And this wishful thinking is killing me, i die everyday that im with him.. So much drama but i cant help it, im sorry.! All i need is someone who tells me its gonna be okay but the sucky part is, its him who tells me that and its unfair that i cant answer him honestly when asks me whats wrong...? Im sorry guys i just really need to get this out...

[Bowyn Aerrow]

Love is never a bad thing, even when its misplaced.

He needs you.... Hmmm Uncertain how this plays with you sticking around... It has been my experience that when people need someone, they will play all sorts of games with hearts in order to satisfy that need, then as soon as that need is filled they discard the person like yesterdays newspaper.

Perhaps what he really needs is for you to walk away so he learns how to walk on his own two feet instead of leaning on another and using their emotions against them....?

And the only cure for love is time... Pray all you want, God is not going to shorten the days for you. I fear there are important lessons you need to learn, and those only come through experiencing each and every agonizing moment of this.

[Anocxu]

Axrjet...
It gets easier...
You cant make a person love you, they either do or don't. ..
Easy for me to say when you are stuck with all this pain..

You have to move forward in order to heal...

So maybe you'll stick around ..share and help those in a similar situation as yourself?

I have a story to share..
I will do so when I have the strenght..

Hugs...

[East]

If it helps at all...my two cents...

I picked people on purpose to love who I knew wouldn't love me back...it was a childhood "issue" that I was looking to resolve ...and of course going about it all the wrong way....

The only guys I was ever "in love" with back then had to not be able to love me...it was a requirement.

The secret for me was to own it...you can't let anything go until you give it a name and understand it.

I hope you get some relief soon.....

[Bhp91126]

Maybe this is a way to look at this:
Being in love is the best feeling in the world. You love your straight best friend (sbf) and he "needs" you. If you were to meet another great guy, you would be able to fall in love with him, too. There is room for more than 1 person in your heart. So, you're not missing out on anything while you're in love with your sbf.
Regard the relationship with your sbf as a platonic love-affair and enjoy it!

[Jimmy]

I know the feeling pal. Sometimes I wish the guy I have feeling for would do something to make me hate him, but he never does. Love is a royal pain in the arse!

[Bluelight]

Eh, this too shall pass. This has happened to me millions of times.

[MikeW]

Eh, this too shall pass. This has happened to me millions of times.

And you're only 21 :eek:

[cunningluvr]

I wish you a happy resolution to this. As Bhp says, think of it as another love, albeit platonic, in your life. Don't expect things of it. Enjoy it for what it is. And if friendship is what it is, well, friendship is a pretty damn good outcome.

[axejet]

Thank you so much for the words that may help me with what i feel... He is not mu best friend we just became friends this year... But i had considered him as a friend... I had a crush on him thought the first time i saw him, and it made me hopeful when he said hed want to share a room with me as we are now... Anyways...

To share what i did today, i think i did really good in not showing too much care for him, he kinda felt that i was snobbish today, i felt like what i did to him today was unfair and cold.. But this is a step i gotta take... When he gave me a big smile, it just melted my heart but i didnt smile back, i just looked away...

Hope tom i will be stronger..

Thanks again...