When sex wishes are different?

[meridannight]

When a thread is started here asking for opinions or advice I would assume the poster wants advice from everyone, regardless how diverse or varied those responses are...and yet when others don't agree with you or debate their reasoning(or clarify their meaning) you seem to take offense or argue that they are wrong for having a different opinion.

and i have never argued that others shouldn't post their opinions, or that opinions differing from mine shouldn't be posted. i do, however, argue my point. and if i see logical inconsistencies from others, i will argue that too. you are imagining it that i'm seeing any offense anywhere.

and as far as varied opinions go, i am the only one arguing for the partner's right to determine his own sexual life. everyone else is pretty much beating the same track. that's as far as diverse goes here.

[Gideon]

and i have never argued that others shouldn't post their opinions, or that opinions differing from mine shouldn't be posted. i do, however, argue my point. and if i see logical inconsistencies from others, i will argue that too. you are imagining it that i'm seeing any offense anywhere.

No but instead of simply stating your opinion and following it up with your logic, you consistently seem to try and shame others for having a differing opinion or prove that their opinions are -wrong-. You are entitled to your opinions and everyone else is entitled to theirs, so why do you feel the need to argue it or point out their flaws(as you see them) in logic instead of simply accepting that you view things differently?

You ask if this thread is about you, but you -make- it about you with the arguments and debates on how others are wrong in their thinking and perceptions and you are right....

Again, just my two cents. But I don't think I'm the only one "imagining" that you are taking offense here, man. That is the feel of it, whether intentional or not...it's how it comes across, not just to me but to at least a few involved in this discussion.

You don't have to agree with me, I'm just pointing out that you are creating a debate where a debate isn't really needed. Everyone has their own viewpoints and are sharing them, by pointing out these " logical inconsistencies from others " you are essentially saying(my opinion) that their viewpoints are unwanted/wrong and causing frictions that aren't necessary for the topic or conversation. We can all agree to disagree, it's what makes us all individuals.

[happyschizoid]

I should be so lucky to have your problems.

[meridannight]

you consistently seem to try and shame others for having a differing opinion or prove that their opinions are -wrong-.

where did i shame anyone exactly? you are reading too much inflection into some written text.

You are entitled to your opinions and everyone else is entitled to theirs, so why do you feel the need to argue it or point out their flaws(as you see them) in logic instead of simply accepting that you view things differently?

well errors in logic are not the same as difference in viewpoint.

You ask if this thread is about you, but you -make- it about you with the arguments and debates on how others are wrong in their thinking and perceptions and you are right....

and you're the one escalating it to the level of what the arguments behind my arguments are like.

Again, just my two cents. But I don't think I'm the only one "imagining" that you are taking offense here, man. That is the feel of it, whether intentional or not...it's how it comes across, not just to me but to at least a few involved in this discussion.

so? the fact that you're imagining it doesn't change the reality.

You don't have to agree with me, I'm just pointing out that you are creating a debate where a debate isn't really needed

and you are doing what? perpetuating it?

you are essentially saying(my opinion) that their viewpoints are unwanted/wrong and causing frictions that aren't necessary for the topic or conversation.

again, you are misreading things. i have nothing else to say other than that it's not there. not like i can prove it though, so just let it go.

i agree this friction is not necessary for this topic at all. but i will argue my point if others argue with me.

[TwisttheLeaf]

meridiannight ....

Writing is emotive. Great poetry, literature, love letters and stories are written with intense emotion expressed through writing to the point that they come alive to the reader.

I myself have written interactive stories that have brought others to tears through the reading, caused them to burst into laughter, etc.

Forums are also text based but text based doesn't mean there is a lack of expression of emotions.

Yes, people can sometimes read things wrong. It happens.

But this is a repetitive issue where your posts are concerned involving a -number- of people, not a one time incident with Gideon as the only one seeing it.

I'm saying this because.... perhaps you need to read your words from a recieving view before you post? If you aren't meaning to come off as rude and argumentitive, and you are to a number of people on more than one occasion, it seems that maybe a change in -how- you express yourself may be the factor that needs a bit of work.

Just a suggestion.

OP ---- I'm sorry for the derailment.

[Gideon]

Adding my apologies for derailing the topic here, guys.

And OP, if you happen to catch(and answer) my question to you, I'll post again on some ideas that might help you out some...otherwise, I'll shut the hell up and let this get back to topic at hand...

PERVS RULE!!!(Heh)

[meridannight]

But this is a repetitive issue where your posts are concerned involving a -number- of people, not a one time incident with Gideon as the only one seeing it.

please PM me with the details of exactly what posts and what lines/words written by me have been offensive, and to whom it has been offensive and when. i will review it.

i welcome everyone i have offended to PM me and inform me of the fact. i am not a goddamn mind reader here.

I'm saying this because.... perhaps you need to read your words from a recieving view before you post? If you aren't meaning to come off as rude and argumentitive, and you are to a number of people on more than one occasion, it seems that maybe a change in -how- you express yourself may be the factor that needs a bit of work.

well, i could also say that people shouldn't be so damn sensitive as to take offense from how words are written without ever being in a position of seeing how they were written, thus risking imaging things.

[Bowyn Aerrow]

From everything you said, I see no potential for resolution.

Your choices are:

1. Adapt and do as he wills.

2. Get a new BF.

Sorry - but its pretty clear there will never be a middle ground for him on this matter.

[cunningluvr]

It's not my business to try to change anyone, including their preferences towards sexuality. I'll help effect change if asked, but I prefer a partner be compatible. if theres a shared live and let live attitude, many things about a relationship aren't worth sweating, but lack of sexual compatibility is a deal-breaker.

[meridannight]

No, of course, I wont be asking these special things from him all the time. I just want to try at least something at least once.

i did understand from your opening post that you wanted this to be a regular type of thing. you said you didn't want to give up all your fantasies. i read that as you wanting to make a regular practice of these fantasies (doing it just once doesn't change that. it's 'once', after that once you have to give them up).

now you expressed you'd like to try at least something at least once. if that's the case then i see slightly less of a problem. it's still his right to say no even for once, but for the sake of the relationship your partner should give it a try at least once. but you have to present it like that to him. IF it is that important to you. tell him you need it at least once or it won't work for you. maybe he could try if not for anything other than at least confirm he doesn't want to do it again. if he still says no, you're left with either accepting his wishes or changing it to an open relationship or this one is over.

i do agree with wanting to make your partner feel good, and this is part of it. but i also agree, that either partner himself has the final word in what he will or will not do. and i strongly disagree with others making him to be the scapegoat in these issues you're having. it is just as much up to you yourself to figure out if you need the realization of these fantasies that much that you can't live without them. and if accepting your partner's desires is really that unacceptable. he's not the scapegoat. it goes both ways here.

some call him vanilla, and it might be vanilla for some guys, but to him it might be the healthiest expression of his desires on the continuum of sexual intimacy. did you think about that?