Allah and the 72 Virgins

[LONDONER]

A suicide bomber died and went to heaven, as foretold.

When he arrived there, he met Allah, and he said to Allah that he was ready to claim his virgins, as promised.

Out of curiosity he asked Allah why there were so many virgins in heaven.

Allah regarded him for a moment, then replied, "Actually, the 72 virgins are here in heaven because arseholes like you murdered them before they could experience the pleasure of sex.

So you're here to service them. Since they're virgins, they're quite sexually ravenous; and, frankly, you'll be on constant, exhausting duty. I shall banish you from Paradise should you fail!"

The bomber responded, "Well, I guess I can live with that. How hard can it be to keep 72 women satisfied for all eternity?"

And Allah replied, "Who said they were women?

[BlueStar]

Omfg!!! Full laughs for this one!!!

[East]

LOL...though I have to say I have always thought that 72 virgins was a horrible punishment...

I would rather have 72 nasty sluts...much better reward

[palbert]

I would put a steel collar around your neck as a protective measure.

[East]

I would put a steel collar around your neck as a protective measure.

I almost never bite


....OK...I almost always bite

...but never too hard

[palbert]

^^ My thinking inclined more to a beheading for sacrilegious writing.

[East]

Oh yeah...one much watch one's neck these days......a steel collar would be a nice accessory

[spilovn]

Well in Allah's paradise there are "pearly boys" for the Muslims pleasure so this joke just doesn't work, unless their men and not children.

[Bhp91126]

Imams should start telling their flock that suicide bombers get fucked up the ass by their victims for all eternity (and they'll feel like virgins every time). (I know the ravenous bottoms on here will ask what exactly the punishment is, but maybe this would deter some of those feeble-minded)


Uh, before someone with reading comprehension problems claims, that I call all Muslims feeble minded, let me clarify that I'm only calling potential suicide bombers that. And I know there is a difference.

[deepu69]

Great one...