Why would my friend act this way towards me and then reject me? What should I do?

[heythere999]

Leaving him out for a moment.
You seem to be pretty confident to be bi and in love with him.
Could you imagine coming out to your other friends in the circle, with you being in love with him and such? All your friends observing you guys for the last couple of months thought romance was brewing. Assuming they will believe you, you may have some support from your other friends, esp. the girls.
If he sees that it is a nonissue with your friends, it might help him to come out himself. Or it will trigger a public discussion in the group, where he has to declare himself. At least you will feel vindicated, and he'll get the disdain of the group for playing with your feelings.

This may seem silly, but I plan on improving my body and when I finally do, and I have a car, and whatnot, that's when I'll plan on coming out. And if I were to come out to the group and explain my situation, wouldn't that be mean to him? "Oh I realized I was bi because he did this and this and this and this which made me have feelings for him"?

And yes, I could imagine. I already told him I would remain friends, then become really close, then try things, and then come out slowly. Because I would love to be with him.

[Gideon]

Hey man. So I'm an optimist and I want to give this guy the benefit of the doubt, yeah? I mean, he's your friend, one of your best friends from the way it sounds so apparently there is alot of good in him or he wouldn't be in this position to start with, right? Also, you're falling for him...apparently, from the way it sounds, he's also the first guy you've found yourself attracted to, or enough so that you'd declare your feelings?

Okay so I still think he's at least curious, but you need to remember that we all make discoveries and figure things out in different ways, at different times, at different rates. For you it seemed that it came really easily to accept this, for him it could be alot harder. Alot more confusing. He could be feeling those social stigmas alot more than you are, hm?

You called him on behaviors that might have been really 'risky' for him but with you he was comfortable enough to pull them off and then you confronted him with it all...in a text, no less. Can you really blame him for denying and feeling a bit exposed?

Try the friendship again, man. See if things can go back to that comfortable after some time and work. Maybe it will develop into more -when he's ready- and maybe it won't, but if you toss this away now, the possibility, the friendship, all of it, you'll never know.

You might get hurt by it, sure, but then we all take that risk EVERY time we get attached to someone, no matter the gender or situation.

[heythere999]

Hey man. So I'm an optimist and I want to give this guy the benefit of the doubt, yeah? I mean, he's your friend, one of your best friends from the way it sounds so apparently there is alot of good in him or he wouldn't be in this position to start with, right? Also, you're falling for him...apparently, from the way it sounds, he's also the first guy you've found yourself attracted to, or enough so that you'd declare your feelings?

Okay so I still think he's at least curious, but you need to remember that we all make discoveries and figure things out in different ways, at different times, at different rates. For you it seemed that it came really easily to accept this, for him it could be alot harder. Alot more confusing. He could be feeling those social stigmas alot more than you are, hm?

You called him on behaviors that might have been really 'risky' for him but with you he was comfortable enough to pull them off and then you confronted him with it all...in a text, no less. Can you really blame him for denying and feeling a bit exposed?

Try the friendship again, man. See if things can go back to that comfortable after some time and work. Maybe it will develop into more -when he's ready- and maybe it won't, but if you toss this away now, the possibility, the friendship, all of it, you'll never know.

You might get hurt by it, sure, but then we all take that risk EVERY time we get attached to someone, no matter the gender or situation.

You're pretty right.

So I shouldn't tell any other real life friends about my situation?


Also, so what should I do? Should I say I want things to go back to how they were, or what? What should I do/say? I told him last week when we met up that there should be boundaries, wouldn't it be embarrassing if I said "wait no nevermind"?