Rejection
10-02-2014, 02:38 AM
Guys,
If you were rejected do you think it's impossible to have a a relationship with this person?
Long story not sure if I should write in details.
Thank you for your time.
Some background – at this time I was in a relationship but I was not happy I already had some thoughts that it cannot continue this way.
My story. I know this guy (Mr X) since June when I and my friends went to the Fire Island beach. The guy was a part of our crew but I have never seen him before. We rented a two floors house for fifteen ppl. When I met the person, of course he appealed to me physically first. Then within the same day I had a conversation about surrogate mothers and making kids this way (since we both want kids and family). That really touched me. I asked him where he will sleep tonight, he said on the second floor. Although I already was set to sleep on the first floor I lied to him that I sleep in the same room, and rushed to the second floor. I already saw my friend's mattress there and his stuff next to Mr X. I threw his mattress(that my friend brought from the first floor) and stuff against the wall and put my mattress instead. When I heard my friend is coming I laid down on my mattress and made a look I've been here for a while. Of course he didn't like it and he left to the first floor caring his stuff and clothing to the first floor, and probably cursing me with all bad words he knew. I was happy though, I get to sleep next to my Mr X.
By that time I was treating Mr X as a friend, subconsciously I already started to get feelings for him a bit. Then in August we had my b’day party held in his apartment. After that we went to the clubs and of cuz we drank, but I and he never get very drunk. Since his place was much closer I asked to spend a night at his place. He agreed. After each of us took a shower he asked if we do cuddling. I said why not. Then he asked if I want to be a big or a small Spoon. I said it doesn't matter. So I was a small spoon. We slept naked since both I and he do not sleep in underwear. He was so cute. He smelled my shoulders and said it’s been a while I cuddled like that. I asked doesn’t he have sex with guys. He said that that's different. Hookups are quick and you don't cuddle.
So he started randomly touching my penis when he was trying to move his hands. After a few tries from his side to initiate sex I refused and explained him I can't because I am still in a relationship. He seemed not getting it so I put him lying down on his stomach and I sat on his butt and gave him a relaxing massage. He then relaxed and we could fall asleep. At night I woke up to get some water and went to the kitchen, he followed me (naked as well) and hugged me from behind (I will never forget this moment.) The moonlight fell on us and it was almost a fairytale.
The next morning I woke up from the bells and Gregorian chants of the church that was across the street. He opened a blanket and looked in there and said omg it's so big.
After the breakfast he was going to the church. I said I'll join him too and he didn't have any objections. After the church we hugged and our ways separated. In the evening I msged him on fb and told him I'm still wearing the underwear on what he replied: … we should have talked about last night! I hope I'm not going to hurt you in anyway, but I am in fact infatuated with someone else. I hope that what happened last time won't give you the wrong idea. I hope we'll be able to keep our friendship. There's a lot going on.... I'm sorry... Are we ok?
I was a bit upset. But after telling him we are ok and I will never forget last night, I felt better and let this whole thing go.
I loved the time I spent with him and the way I was treated. So I decided to thank him anonymously and sent ordered roses to his workplace. Btw I did not know where he was working exactly but thru LinkedIn I managed to get a company name, which had several locations. I received a call saying that my flowers were delivered and recipient’s name was foreign to me. So I started to worry if he ever received those.
At the same day I met one of my friends who knew that I am infatuated with Mr X. He told me that he talked to Mr X yesterday and he said that he wants to look for a new bf since something did not work to him with his recent guy. Mr X mentioned me in his conversation in a good way and that he sees us (me and Mr X) painting walls together etc. My friend told me all this, and it all finalized my decision to break up my current relationship.
The same night I asked my friend to txt Mr X and ask him if something strange happened at work because I still was not sure if Mr X has received my flowers. Mr X said he received flowers but had no note from a sender, and added tell the person who sent these flowers if he is a man he should call me.
So had to call him and ask if he liked the roses. He thanked me and said that they are beautiful. He was surprised.
The next day I broke up with the man I was in a relationship with. I will not include the description of all my sadness I had at that time. It was tough. But now I had other thing to work on and worry about.
On the coming weekend our crew gathered together on a rooftop party. When Mr X and I were alone together he asked me how am I doing, and I told him that there is a guy I really like, and I hinted him that I like him but he still did not get it (meaning him of course). He replied by saying maybe you need to tell him that without any hints. Our conversation was destructed by other guys wanting to go to the bars/clubs. So during our walk to the bars I managed to be alone with Mr X. I told him that I like him about my feelings and I liked him. He responded to me positively. We then sat down while guys were at the bar and talked about our lives. He used to work in one place I once went to and I really liked the cocktails called Firebird kiss there. The ultimate ingredient of which was a special type of rare Russian vodka. (In a few days I found the place that was selling some of it and bought it thinking he may make those cocktails one day.)
After we met our friends we went to one more bar and then left. Me and Mr X were walking towards train, his train. I did not protest. So I ended up sleeping at his place again. I used the same Red Apple body wash I did before when I visited him for a first time. It smells so great. Real smell of sex.
We could not fall asleep. There were again a few attempts from his side to initiate sex. I said no we can’t do it now. For what he asked me why do we have to wait a few months for this to happen? So he went down there and we had oral pleasure that night.
Next week he had to leave to US and visit his motherland for two weeks. So on Thursday we all wanted to go to watch a movie. Me and him met a bit earlier to discuss our further steps in our relationship. The first thing I saw is that he dressed up. I really liked that of cuz . He told me that we should see where our feeling are when he will come back and go from there. I told him I like him and I want to work toward our relationship.
He promised to message me when he will be out there in his native country. He kept his promise.
Before he left he said that if I will miss him it is real if not then it’s just a momentary feeling.
I did miss him every day. I did not even think I will miss him so much. My feelings were like a poison that spread all over my body.
The day he came back we all were gathering at my friend’s. He managed to come. Even though it takes him two hours to get there, and please note that he landed in the afternoon of that day. I was happy to see him.
After the party Mr X I talked to my friend who knew about us. He told me that I should be ready for both YES and NO from Mr X. After this conversation I was so anxious that I could not sleep all the night and thought only about these YES or NO. In the morning when I woke up my mother told me that she saw a weird dream: I am entering her room and I have tattoos on my chest and on my back of a bold guy with a beard (that is how Mr X looks like).
I and Mr X decided on a date. I chose the place and we met. He was sick at this time and ic ould not really read any emotions from his face. But he was cute as always. He started from that there is a lot of things going on in his life. He quit his job before going abroad and now he is looking for a new job and blabla. He then said that I need more time to recover from my break up, and that he is sorry but he did not miss me during his trip. He told me that I do not get enough of his attention and I did not deserve it and I need someone who would be able to give it to me. Of course I was astonished. Before I kissed his lips and said good bye I told him I am not giving up and if he changes his mind I am always there for him.
The next day I took a day off cuz I didn’t want my coworkers see my red eyes and ask what’s happened.
I still see him in our crew and I still am in love with this person. I am a fool to believe something will change. What do you think?
If you were rejected do you think it's impossible to have a a relationship with this person?
Long story not sure if I should write in details.
Thank you for your time.
Some background – at this time I was in a relationship but I was not happy I already had some thoughts that it cannot continue this way.
My story. I know this guy (Mr X) since June when I and my friends went to the Fire Island beach. The guy was a part of our crew but I have never seen him before. We rented a two floors house for fifteen ppl. When I met the person, of course he appealed to me physically first. Then within the same day I had a conversation about surrogate mothers and making kids this way (since we both want kids and family). That really touched me. I asked him where he will sleep tonight, he said on the second floor. Although I already was set to sleep on the first floor I lied to him that I sleep in the same room, and rushed to the second floor. I already saw my friend's mattress there and his stuff next to Mr X. I threw his mattress(that my friend brought from the first floor) and stuff against the wall and put my mattress instead. When I heard my friend is coming I laid down on my mattress and made a look I've been here for a while. Of course he didn't like it and he left to the first floor caring his stuff and clothing to the first floor, and probably cursing me with all bad words he knew. I was happy though, I get to sleep next to my Mr X.
By that time I was treating Mr X as a friend, subconsciously I already started to get feelings for him a bit. Then in August we had my b’day party held in his apartment. After that we went to the clubs and of cuz we drank, but I and he never get very drunk. Since his place was much closer I asked to spend a night at his place. He agreed. After each of us took a shower he asked if we do cuddling. I said why not. Then he asked if I want to be a big or a small Spoon. I said it doesn't matter. So I was a small spoon. We slept naked since both I and he do not sleep in underwear. He was so cute. He smelled my shoulders and said it’s been a while I cuddled like that. I asked doesn’t he have sex with guys. He said that that's different. Hookups are quick and you don't cuddle.
So he started randomly touching my penis when he was trying to move his hands. After a few tries from his side to initiate sex I refused and explained him I can't because I am still in a relationship. He seemed not getting it so I put him lying down on his stomach and I sat on his butt and gave him a relaxing massage. He then relaxed and we could fall asleep. At night I woke up to get some water and went to the kitchen, he followed me (naked as well) and hugged me from behind (I will never forget this moment.) The moonlight fell on us and it was almost a fairytale.
The next morning I woke up from the bells and Gregorian chants of the church that was across the street. He opened a blanket and looked in there and said omg it's so big.
After the breakfast he was going to the church. I said I'll join him too and he didn't have any objections. After the church we hugged and our ways separated. In the evening I msged him on fb and told him I'm still wearing the underwear on what he replied: … we should have talked about last night! I hope I'm not going to hurt you in anyway, but I am in fact infatuated with someone else. I hope that what happened last time won't give you the wrong idea. I hope we'll be able to keep our friendship. There's a lot going on.... I'm sorry... Are we ok?
I was a bit upset. But after telling him we are ok and I will never forget last night, I felt better and let this whole thing go.
I loved the time I spent with him and the way I was treated. So I decided to thank him anonymously and sent ordered roses to his workplace. Btw I did not know where he was working exactly but thru LinkedIn I managed to get a company name, which had several locations. I received a call saying that my flowers were delivered and recipient’s name was foreign to me. So I started to worry if he ever received those.
At the same day I met one of my friends who knew that I am infatuated with Mr X. He told me that he talked to Mr X yesterday and he said that he wants to look for a new bf since something did not work to him with his recent guy. Mr X mentioned me in his conversation in a good way and that he sees us (me and Mr X) painting walls together etc. My friend told me all this, and it all finalized my decision to break up my current relationship.
The same night I asked my friend to txt Mr X and ask him if something strange happened at work because I still was not sure if Mr X has received my flowers. Mr X said he received flowers but had no note from a sender, and added tell the person who sent these flowers if he is a man he should call me.
So had to call him and ask if he liked the roses. He thanked me and said that they are beautiful. He was surprised.
The next day I broke up with the man I was in a relationship with. I will not include the description of all my sadness I had at that time. It was tough. But now I had other thing to work on and worry about.
On the coming weekend our crew gathered together on a rooftop party. When Mr X and I were alone together he asked me how am I doing, and I told him that there is a guy I really like, and I hinted him that I like him but he still did not get it (meaning him of course). He replied by saying maybe you need to tell him that without any hints. Our conversation was destructed by other guys wanting to go to the bars/clubs. So during our walk to the bars I managed to be alone with Mr X. I told him that I like him about my feelings and I liked him. He responded to me positively. We then sat down while guys were at the bar and talked about our lives. He used to work in one place I once went to and I really liked the cocktails called Firebird kiss there. The ultimate ingredient of which was a special type of rare Russian vodka. (In a few days I found the place that was selling some of it and bought it thinking he may make those cocktails one day.)
After we met our friends we went to one more bar and then left. Me and Mr X were walking towards train, his train. I did not protest. So I ended up sleeping at his place again. I used the same Red Apple body wash I did before when I visited him for a first time. It smells so great. Real smell of sex.
We could not fall asleep. There were again a few attempts from his side to initiate sex. I said no we can’t do it now. For what he asked me why do we have to wait a few months for this to happen? So he went down there and we had oral pleasure that night.
Next week he had to leave to US and visit his motherland for two weeks. So on Thursday we all wanted to go to watch a movie. Me and him met a bit earlier to discuss our further steps in our relationship. The first thing I saw is that he dressed up. I really liked that of cuz . He told me that we should see where our feeling are when he will come back and go from there. I told him I like him and I want to work toward our relationship.
He promised to message me when he will be out there in his native country. He kept his promise.
Before he left he said that if I will miss him it is real if not then it’s just a momentary feeling.
I did miss him every day. I did not even think I will miss him so much. My feelings were like a poison that spread all over my body.
The day he came back we all were gathering at my friend’s. He managed to come. Even though it takes him two hours to get there, and please note that he landed in the afternoon of that day. I was happy to see him.
After the party Mr X I talked to my friend who knew about us. He told me that I should be ready for both YES and NO from Mr X. After this conversation I was so anxious that I could not sleep all the night and thought only about these YES or NO. In the morning when I woke up my mother told me that she saw a weird dream: I am entering her room and I have tattoos on my chest and on my back of a bold guy with a beard (that is how Mr X looks like).
I and Mr X decided on a date. I chose the place and we met. He was sick at this time and ic ould not really read any emotions from his face. But he was cute as always. He started from that there is a lot of things going on in his life. He quit his job before going abroad and now he is looking for a new job and blabla. He then said that I need more time to recover from my break up, and that he is sorry but he did not miss me during his trip. He told me that I do not get enough of his attention and I did not deserve it and I need someone who would be able to give it to me. Of course I was astonished. Before I kissed his lips and said good bye I told him I am not giving up and if he changes his mind I am always there for him.
The next day I took a day off cuz I didn’t want my coworkers see my red eyes and ask what’s happened.
I still see him in our crew and I still am in love with this person. I am a fool to believe something will change. What do you think?
![[-]](https://gayspeak.com/images/duende_v3_local/collapse.png)
