I'm 48 years of age and I have been with 8 guys sexually willingly (we don't discuss the unwilling parts).
Out of those 8 six were honest attempts at relationships. Well honest on my side of things - there is a bit of doubt with some of those guys. The other two was my honest 'I'm through with love' attempt to be a slut... both times were not satisfying and I figured out rapidly that 'just sex' don't do it for me.
Out of those 8 men three of them I met at a club/bar. Two of those were the one night stands.
The rest I met at other places, like at work, at parties thrown by mutual friends, at AA meetings - oh yeah I did a lot of bars and clubs my time.
I hate to tell you this, but as a gay male love is stacked against you:
http://www.frc.org/get.cfm?i=IS04C02
Such things as the average length of a serious partnership for gay men is 1.5 year and the other side of the horror story:
"
In addition, 10.2 percent to 15.7 percent had between 501 and 1,000 partners. A further 10.2 percent to 15.7 percent reported having had more than one thousand lifetime sexual partners."
I am a rare gem amongst gay men, I only go to bars to get drunk. Most other gay men go to get sex (and drunk to make it easier to pick up other men). Relationships that do happen at bars/clubs are usually ones between alcoholics who end up having a rocky relationship that implodes in short order.
The majority of the long term couples I have known have met outside of bars and clubs, places like camping, hiking, dinner parties, work, LGBT social activities that didn't include copious amounts of alcohol, libraries, book stores (no not the pornographic ones).
I can think of only three couples who met at bar and clubs that ended up in a long term relationship, two of them were the 'designated drivers' for their parties - meaning they were both there to render assistance to their drunken friends. The remaining couple had a long term relationships that was 'very interesting' as in they were both seriously deranged and appeared to not mind things like flying crockery, screaming for hours and all of the other insanity they had.
So. What are you looking for? Relationship? Then stay away from the bars and clubs - dragons and other dark things dwell there. Sex? Then stick with the grinder, there is no two drink minimum.
Relationships and love and stuff like that tend to happen on their own time. I'm sorry, no one has figured out the dark magics necessary to force love to happen when they want it.
Go ahead, feel free to look at our extensive member list - the majority are single. This isn't an accident or happy coincidence, single is the majority of LGBT. Either we are a picky lot, or (which is most likely) we do not have as many venues which do not include copious amounts of alcohol to met decent people.